A Drop of Poison
by Angel of Snapdragons
Summary: WIP An unconscious Iruka forces Naruto to return to the academy for another year. It also marks the beginnings of a prank whose far-reaching consequences will shake Konoha to its foundations.
1. Prologue

A Drop of Poison

Prologue

Disclaimer : Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. Ramen belongs to Naruto. Enough said.

* * *

Naruto Uzumaki was not a person who punished harshly.

He'd had a harsh life, true, but he'd always looked for the bright side of things. Moaning about your problems never did anything about them, and brought you no closer to your goals. When possible he turned the other cheek, else he pranked.

This was how he was.

His harsh life however had brought one thing: he was very defensive of those he called friends. He had very few of those, and before their pain his was nothing.

So, knowing that, it can be said that the beating Naruto gave Mizuki, his old Taijutsu teacher, was entirely in proportion with the crime.

By Konoha law the man was guilty of treason, so no one would be angry at Mizuki's death, but Naruto stayed his hand, or hands in this case, and left the man alive. Beaten to a bloody pulp, true, but alive.

"Hehe… I went a little too far… Iruka ?"

He'd turned around to talk to the second man he could call a friend, after the Sandaime. The chūnin was unmoving, his head having fallen back sometime while the many Narutos were beating on Mizuki.

"Iruka ?"

Naruto had not listened much to his lessons in first aid, but nevertheless remembered some. His favourite instructor's temperature was not normal, and his breathing was slow. It was visible something was wrong with him.

It took but a second for Naruto to call back his clones, though some had already left for his apartment as he'd instructed them do. They quickly gathered Iruka's body, making sure to step on Mizuki a few times along the way, and dashed from tree to tree holding his body aloft. Naruto could see the remaining clones gather Mizuki none to gently and follow him, but his mind was focused on getting Iruka to the hospital as soon as possible.

* * *

When Naruto arrived to the hospital the Hokage was already there, reinforcing Naruto's ingrained knowledge that the Sandaime always knew everything just has it happened and just let him do his pranks out of pleasure for the results.

He was actually proud that his own technique had managed to knock the old man down for once. He'd normally be bragging about it by now, but he had more important things to do.

Two medical ninja stepped from behind the town leader as soon as the clones holding Iruka touched the ground, gathered the chūnin and brought him inside on a stretcher. Two of those weird masked ninja did the same with Mizuki's body, though these didn't bother with a stretcher. The one behind the crow mask even covered a snort when one of his clones gave him a last kick right between the legs, and Naruto counted every emotion he'd get from those people as a victory. They'd been checking him in his apartment for years, and they always seem like moving stone statues for all feelings they showed.

The Hokage stepped forward then, as the two masked ones were bouncing from roof to roof, and stopped a few meters in front of the mass of clones.

"You don't think I need the protection of so many ninjas, do you ?"

Many ninjas… Oh, he meant his clones. With a single seal and a thought they all disappeared in various puffs of smoke, and the satisfaction he felt from having gotten one last kick at Mizuki redoubled in his mind.

"Good. I see you managed to make good use of your time with this scroll. May I take it back ?"

Naruto sheepishly handed the scroll back, having completely forgotten the fact that he'd stolen it from the very same man hours earlier. The Sandaime quickly looked at it, probably to verify it was what it was supposed to be, then held it under his shoulder.

"Will Iruka be all right, old man ?" he couldn't help himself but ask.

"I'm sure he will be. In one or two days he'll probably come see you again." The Sandaime did that weird thing where he looked directly at the Hokage monument as if he was thinking of someone. Nah, probably just liked looking at his own face. "It's late and I'll probably have twice as much paperwork waiting for me when I get back. I think we're both better off returning home, aren't we ?"

Naruto nodded. He skipped dinner getting that scroll, and a good dose of ramen was exactly what he needed.

"Good night, then." The old man then that vanishing-leaf-ninja trick he always did, and Naruto bounced from roof to roof towards home and ramen.

* * *

The smell of ramen hit his nose before he was even home. He cleared the few remaining meters at a run and entered his apartment to find a dozen copies of himself around his table, on his bed, on the ground and even one on his kitchen counter. And they were all eating ramen.

"You no good bastards, you better have left some for me, or I'm bursting you all and taking all that ramen for myself!"

The clones, knowing Naruto as much as they did themselves, had evidently foreseen this particular possibility, as another hot cup of ramen was waiting by for him on the kitchen counter. He wasted no time gulping down a good portion of the still slightly-crunchy noodles, savouring the taste of his favourite food.

By the third bite, however, he realized something. Some of his clones were different than the others, having a large scroll on their back like he'd worn the scroll of forbidden seals earlier in the day.

Oh yeah ! He'd forgotten because of the whole beatdown on Mizuki thing and the rush to the hospital, but he'd made four or so clones while first escaping his former taijutsu teacher. Those here with the scroll must be the same he'd made then, who'd come back here like the others.

Wait a minute…

Naruto drained the rest of his noodles in one great gulp, and walked with determination towards one of these clones, who was still savouring his own ramen. Unlatching the scroll, he quickly examined it. The kage bunshin directions were still there, and yes ! Another technique afterwards !

If a single technique from that scroll could make him able to beat down a chūnin, imagine how much closer to Hokage he'd be with a dozen. Or maybe even more !

Looking back at the clones still eating ramen, he realized he had no clue how long they'd last. Better off copying the techniques on other scrolls first. He probably didn't have time to train in a dozen before they'd disappeared, anyway.

Dashing to his room, he came back holding on every single empty scroll he owned. It was quite a few. He'd never have thought that not doing his homework could be so useful. It left him with plenty of spare scrolls to write on, though.

He'd barely started writing when the sound of slurping noodles behind him clued him to a much better and faster way of doing this.

"Hey you guys, stop eating !"

A few of his clones did stop, though the majority kept on. One even gave him the finger. He resisted the urge to burst that one, but held back as it was one with a scroll.

"I'm bursting the first one who hasn't finished his ramen in ten seconds."

The sounds of slurping noodles were a balm to Naruto's ears, and before long all clones were looking at him expectantly. It was good to be listened to.

"Okay ! You and you." He said, pointing to the clone he'd taken the scroll from, and another clone, this one without a scroll."You're with me. The others in teams of three, with one scroll per team. The one remaining," Naruto looked down at his pile of blank scrolls, then at the forbidden seals scroll. Nope, probably not enough scrolls to copy down everything. "You go buy some more scrolls and markers. Oh, and some more ramen while you're at it." He tossed his purse at that one, who was already out the door.

"Now, everyone call out the technique he's copying, since we don't need any duplicates. I've already started with Shiki Fūjin, so I'm taking that one. The rest of you, go !"

* * *

The sun was rising in the eastern sky when the Naruto squad finished copying down the contents of the forbidden scroll. They worked all night, but Naruto wasn't really feeling tired. Probably because of all the ramen he'd just eaten.

He'd been right to send a clone out to purchase stuff, as without that they'd have run out of scrolls before even hitting the second quarter of the forbidden seals, and would have run out of ramen not much later. And they'd at least needed a second marker each, too.

Now that the copying was done, each Naruto was catching up on some others things. Unsurprisingly, from half of them, that meant ramen. Two others were sleeping, three were down on the scrolls, examining them and comparing them to the original, and one even decided to take a bath. Surprisingly, they all lasted up until now with no need to recreate any of them. Naruto was still wondering when they'd burst by themselves.

He himself was rereading about the kage bunshin on the copy he'd made earlier. He'd mostly made it for completion's sake, but realized up by rereading that he'd barely glanced at half the scroll while training in the forest. Most of what he'd ignored was under the headings 'Dangers' and 'Reasons of Being Forbidden'.

As such, he found himself struggling to understand the following passage:

'Else the danger of severe chakra depletion due to the technique's inerrant division process, the other danger is a form of psychic damage due to the return of a clone's secondary consciousness to the primary one, a form of mental overload due to excess information. As such, it is not recommended to use this technique for upwards of a dozen clones, due to the possibility of multiple memories returning simultaneously, harming the user's psyche and possibly causing personality disorders.'

He did understand the last phrase, but made no sense of it. He'd burst a hundred or so clones in front of the hospital yesterday, and felt no adverse effect. But he didn't remember anything about memories returning or anything of that essence.

He brought the matter to the three clones now nearly done with their verification, and as a group decided on a simple way of testing this effect.

One of the copies grabbed Naruto's dictionary (whose normal use was propping up the kitchen table), opened it at a random page, looked at the first word he'd found there, then dropped the book on his foot, bursting himself.

'Incendiary'

"Incendiary." All the clones chorused in a single voice. One of them even verified and yes, that word the first word on a page near the middle of the book, which was then put back to his original use.

Naruto now even remembered coming up with the idea and looking in the book, even though it was the clone that'd done such things. Damn, that was one powerful technique.

The Naruto copy who'd decided to take a bath choose that particular time to come out, and noted "Shouldn't you be going to the academy around this time ?", with his hair dripping all over the dirty clothing that made most of Naruto's carpet.

Half of the Narutos in the room shot up at that statement, though only the real Naruto didn't go back to what he was doing. He dashed around, gathering the ninja equipment he'd carelessly dropped all over the place, and shot through the window, his usual shortcut for when he was late somewhere.

Mizuki said he'd pass with one technique, so he couldn't wait to show it at the academy.

He couldn't wait to get his hands on his own hitai-ate ! Man, today was gonna be the best !


	2. Beginnings of a Prank

A Drop of Poison

Chapter One : Beginnings of a Prank

Disclaimer : Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. Ramen belongs to Naruto. Enough said.

Bonus points to anyone who recognizes the nod I'm giving to another great ninja story.

* * *

"Absolutely not ! Why would stealing something forbidden even give you any opportunity to become a ninja ? Personally, it'd be thankful the Hokage didn't arrest you like he should have !"

"But Mizuki…"

"And I don't see why the words of a traitor would have any impact on my decision. Actually, the fact that it came from him just proves that it shouldn't be used to help you pass."

Kazuhi was one of the academy instructors Naruto liked the least. He'd been teaching since the boy entered the academy years ago, and kept punishing him whenever anything went wrong in a class, whether or not it had anything to do with him. Luckily the man only taught shinobi history, and not important things like ninjutsu or taijutsu. Nevertheless, he'd always been a thorn in Naruto's side.

The time he'd made the teacher fall through his chair was a good memory, though.

"Even counting the fact that this jutsu of yours would pass you the ninjutsu portion of the exam, you barely passed your accuracy, failed your taijutsu, and that's not talking about your abysmal score in both the history and math examinations. Even that wouldn't bring your score to the lowest passing grade."

"But…"

"No, and that's final ! Whatever that traitor said is of no import. Uzumaki-san, I will see in two weeks at the beginning of the next term. Good day." The man gave him a smile Naruto could only define as pleased, and shut the door to the teacher's lounge in front of his face.

Dejected, Naruto shambled back to his apartment with slow steps. The downtime between academy years had always been the worst time for him, as he didn't even have school to do. He had no pranks planned either, so no clue how he'd survive the incoming boredom of the following weeks.

Re-entering his home, Naruto found that his clones were still present and, in some cases, still eating ramen. They didn't seem affected by the fact he'd have to retake the whole academy year for the fourth time. Then again, he realized, they probably didn't even know about it yet.

Naruto woke the few clones that were sleeping and, with all of them around him listening, he explained his situation. The reactions he got were varied: A few wanted to prank that Kazuhi hard, and some even had good suggestions about how to go about it (Though Naruto didn't think he'd be able to get his hands on that many eggs.), one argued about going to the Hokage with what Mizuki told him, but Naruto had to admit that would probably go as well as the first time he did so, and he'd be back in the academy nonetheless.

The others were as depressed as him by the news, and the whole council degenerated into a large shouting match. Luckily Naruto's immediate neighbours had long vacated the place, else he'd have gotten a visit by his landlord.

All that stopped when a girl stepped through the windows. She was blond, thin and a little taller than Naruto. She was holding down two shopping bags full of ramen in one hand, and using the other to pull herself inside.

"Hey guys, you can believe what I just found out." Was the first thing she said upon coming in.

"Who the hell are you ?" was the general answer by the mass of copies, including the original Naruto.

She looked down at herself and, realizing something, did a single hand seal, releasing her henge and turning into another clone of Naruto.

So clones can use techniques… That meant… Naruto just had a horribly interesting way to duplicate the power of his own created technique, one which would be sure to knock even the Sandaime in the hospital.

Looking around, Naruto realized that by the faces his clones were making, the same idea had occurred to them. They all turned towards him.

"Harem no Jutsu." They all said in the exact same moment.

He nodded along with the clones. They now had another new technique, one even more powerful than his other original one.

Before he could start laughing at the face Iruka or the Hokage would do, the clone who had just returned interrupted them again.

"No, something else ! You know how shopkeepers would kick us out all the time, sell us only old stuff, or overcharge us horribly ?"

All the other Narutos nodded. They now knew why, but they had dealt with that for a long time.

"Well, using henge, we can bypass that. I just came from the store in front of the flower shop, you know, the one with the spitting old man."

They all nodded once more. Once that geezer had known that Naruto liked ramen, he'd taken it off the floor, removing the possibility of Naruto having any. He couldn't stop trying to spit on him, either.

"Well I went there like this…" He turned back into his former female form with a single seal. "And the man couldn't help but being friendly. He even gave me a discount !"

Naruto (and about half of the clones) hit themselves in the head at the thought. They'd known that technique for years, and never tried applying it in that particular set of circumstances. Thinking how much more ramen he could have had if he'd…

Another of the clones, though, shot up from his chair. "We can use that !"

All the clones looked at him bizarrely.

"No, I mean, at the academy. You know how some teachers use any excuse to kick us out of the class, or tie us in a corner…" All nodded. "Well, we could get one or two clones in the academy, under henge, pretending to be other students ! So whenever Naruto gets kicked out, the others will still be there, and we might finally be able to ace those tests and graduate !"

Naruto agreed that it might work. Even better yet, it was like a prank ! He'd be pulling a fast one in front of everyone, especially those stuffy academy teachers !

"Even better about that : If any of the clones pass the test while the original doesn't, we can just go to the Hokage with the fact that the clones under henge are the same person as Naruto, and use that as an argument that we should pass. I'm sure the Hokage won't say no as long as we can prove that we did pass those exams !"

Naruto looked around to see that all the clones were discussing either the possibilities of this prank, or how to make it work. Thinking about it, there wasn't any reason not to try it. "So, everyone's in agreement it seems." All nodded. "So now let's get to the planning of that prank."

"First point to decide on is number." The clone under henge started."How many clones are we gonna insert in the academy ?"

"Two."

"Two."

"Two's best."

The rest nodded along. The transformed copy continued. "Personally, I'd suggest making the two as different as possible to avoid both getting caught at the same time."

"True."

"Only problem is…" The original Naruto interjected. "Keeping them from bursting. Any good hit could blow the whole thing up, and let's not talk about running out of chakra. I know I made you all yesterday, and you've lasted till now, but in a school where we'll be supposed to try techniques dozens of times, I can't say if you'll just disappear when using one."

"I might have an idea about that." Replied three different clones simultaneously. They dug in the pile of scrolls behind them, and came out with a specific one. "Chakra draining technique."

"Why would that be banned ?"

The clone holding the scroll opened it, and read a single passage. "For those not of the Akado bloodline, overusing this technique has been known to cause damage to the chakra coils, weakening them over time to the point of useless. Even sporadic usage of this technique will cause irreparable damage over a few months of time."

"So why should we be using it ?" Naruto asked.

"You shouldn't…" The clone replied to the original. "But we clones should. With that, as long as we have a source of chakra, we would technically last forever. At worst we'd be able to drain some chakra from you to last longer."

Naruto nodded. He'd known for quite a while that he'd never have any problem with chakra in terms of amount, especially after the massive clone spree of yesterday, which didn't even leave him tired. The scroll he'd written about that particular technique said that even a single clone took enormous amount of chakra, so a hundred times that meant he'd probably never have any problem concerning too little chakra.

The scroll quickly got passed around, and Naruto realized that even training in that technique might be dangerous for him. He thought about grabbing another one for an instant, but noticed that there were already enough Narutos training in his admittedly-small apartment.

Time to test how much a henge could change things, then.

* * *

The answer to that question, Naruto found, was everything.

Naruto was used to receiving very specifics types of looks from the populace. There were looks of rage and hate, which were especially preeminent in his various neighbours. There were looks of fear, which Naruto saw less and less as time went on. Finally, there were looks of disgust, and those only increased with time.

And now, there were looks of pride.

He was currently under a henge, looking like a brown-haired and male version of a girl Naruto had gone to class with in his first year at the academy. She hadn't been anything special, hadn't passed her exams or returned the following year, but Naruto always remembered her as one of the rare girls who laughed at the various pranks he did in class. He remembered her well enough to use her as a template for his transformation.

And that transformation, as said before, changed everything.

People were waving as Naruto passed by, some looking down at him with looks of recognition towards a future Konoha shinobi. Coming inside a weapon store that was well known never to accept his presence, Naruto saw with surprise the shopkeeper smiling and beckoning him in, extolling the various specials he had. Using the purse he'd reclaimed from his clone, he even bought a full new set of kunai, the ones on sale of an obviously better quality than those he'd bought (for a premium, he now realized) in one of the rare used merchandise stores that acknowledged his presence.

Now back outside, he realized out much his clone must have been surprised to see the difference in atmosphere. The Konoha Naruto used to know, one that was at times oppressive and hateful, now seemed to welcome him with open arms.

Seeing his favorite ramen stand up ahead, he wondered how Ayame and her father saw Konoha. Being civilian, they would probably have a very different view of the village, one that Naruto had no clue about. For a second, seeing two of the people he respected the most in the city, he wondered what life would have been if he had been a simple civilian. He wondered how they managed to live their lives.

Wait a minute…

Who said he couldn't find out ! If he was planning to infiltrate an academy full of apprentice shinobi with chūnin teachers, surely he could manage to do the same in a school where there were no ninjas around ! It was just an extra two clones, nothing that could tire him overmuch, and there were plenty of things he could learn that civilians did ! There were blacksmiths and tailors and cooks…

The many possibilities were colliding in his head when it was assaulted by a dozen memories. He suddenly remembered going shopping during the night, and finding out the effect of a simple henge one the populace, and training to draw chakra into oneself, and…

Naruto shook his head, returning to the present. Seemed like the first of his clones and finally burst. Somewhere around eighteen to twenty hours, not bad for a first try. Especially since that was the clone that used techniques during the past day.

Turning back towards his apartment, he was quickly assaulted by more thoughts from his bursting clones. By the time he had entered his kitchen he could now remember being on all sides of the discussion earlier and writing down hundreds of techniques during the night. He barely remembered the individual techniques, as those memories merged into one another seamlessly, but bits and pieces were coming back to him one by one.

His apartment was now empty of clones, so he created another dozen to continue training. He himself however turned towards his bed. He hadn't slept at all during the past night and, while he wasn't especially tired, he was expecting another late night training in the following evening.

* * *

It was a clone bursting that brought him back to wakefulness. The memories it previously had interfered and merged with the dream he was having, and that alone brought his consciousness back up. As he stretched another one of his clones vanished, and Naruto could guess the rest wouldn't last much longer.

A look at his alarm clock proved what his clones' memories told him : He had barely slept five hours. Nevertheless he felt quite rested and ready to tackle this night's training.

By the time he'd finished his triple order of ramen, he was the only Naruto left in existence in his apartment. The latest memories confirmed that his clones hadn't managed to get the technique right just yet. Some had thought they had the right way, and others believed they'd managed to succeed for a second, but none could say that they'd really managed to do it right.

Jumping out of his window, Naruto angled his descent to bounce from rooftop to rooftop, trusting his feet to lead him instinctively where he planned on training. His thoughts, however, were on other things.

What he really wondered was how many clones he could manage in a single try. He'd known that he could create more than a hundred, his battle against Mizuki being proof of that, but that was after a hard day's training without stopping to eat or rest. The only other times he'd used the technique, he'd limited himself to a few clones as the situation restricted him.

Now, though, he was well-rested and as fully fed as he could get. Since he would be in the same training spot he'd used to master the kage bunshin, he could fill the area to his heart's content and not bother anyone.

Barely a dozen minutes later, he was back where he'd first opened the scroll yesterday. The actual spot was easy to find, especially with the burnt circle of grass he'd left behind. The result of one of his most spectacular failures, he'd somehow put himself on fire trying to channel chakra. He'd actually now forgotten how he'd managed to accomplish such an event.

Well, it's not like he'd be training about being on fire anyway.

Standing in the middle of that circle, he focused his energies the needed way for the kage bushins to appear. He drew upon his chakra on and on, until he was scrapping the very bottom of reserves.

At the exact instant he'd reached the end of his forces, his hands moved together in a flash, creating the needed seal to call out the technique.

"Kage Bunshin No Jutsu !"

For a second, it was like someone had whacked the camera of reality, as the world shimmered before his eyes.

Then it turned orange.

Naruto couldn't say how many kage bunshins he'd created. Turning around, going up to the farthest he could see and probably even beyond that, there was a copy of his traditional suit moving around. Clones were hanging from trees like giants leaves, and one even emerged from a pit in the ground.

He was tired, true, but that was way beyond what he'd achieved against Mizuki. Naruto hadn't actually seen that much people in one place ! Ever !

Sitting down to recover his breath, he yelled at the awaiting army: "Well, you people know what to do ! There's ramen at Ichiraku for the first one who gets it right !"

A great chorus of "Ramen !" answered him, as clones split up to train. Some went to other clones, some to trees and some even caught small animals to practice on, but all spread and started on the steps to master the technique.

* * *

Naruto was poked awake some amount of time later. Judging by the sky, it was still night, so it could be between fifteen minutes to a few hours since he'd fallen asleep.

His nap was a reward for his success with the Kage Bunshin. It was either that or selecting another technique and trying to learn it, and Naruto didn't believe he could easily find a spot to train without having to displace a shadow clone.

He quickly realized his clones were still going at it, and he wondered why one had bothered to wake him. He valued his sleep and his clones knew that, so he expected not to be forced to rise for nothing.

The clone who'd poked him was standing right beside him, waiting. Naruto caught the difference between him and his other clones instantly. This copy had a dozen extra kunai hanging from the front of his jacket, and two shuriken more than half Naruto's height strapped to his back. Those shuriken were very familiar, Naruto noticed. Then he saw the dried blood on one of them.

Oh yeah ! Mizuki had nailed Iruka with one of those. Looking around, he remembered it wasn't very far from here that the confrontation had occurred, and that Mizuki hadn't been in any state to gather the weapons he'd thrown.

"Remembered about those ?" the clone answered. "I found them while looking around for a place to train. And that wasn't all."

Opening one of his front pocket, he withdrew two other small shuriken, some length of ninja wire, and a single explosive tag.

The tag was what surprised Naruto.

"An explosive tag ? When ? How did you ?"

"Seemed the tag must have been there for a long while, since it's no longer primed to explode. At first I kept my distance and poked it with a stick, then when I got no reaction I stripped the layer of bark it was on. No reaction either. Even taking it off with my fingers didn't make it explode, so I felt safe bringing it here."

"Does it work ?"

"Go ahead and find out." The clone handed Naruto the tag.

Naruto wasted no time. Explosive tags were something he knew how to use very well. They'd been covered every year he was at the academy, and Naruto had made a point of always attending and staying awake during that lesson. The opportunity to blow something up was well worth listening to that class each time.

In less than a second, Naruto had twirled the tag around one of his kunai, primed the tag for explosion in five seconds, and thrown the weapon at a rock standing a dozen meters away.

The explosion wasn't totally unexpected, but still surprised Naruto. The implications of that were enormous.

Because of the reactions of the general populace towards him, Naruto was well used to working with substandard equipment or no equipment at all. The fact that simply looking around could get him some, even things like giant shuriken that already weren't easily accessible to anybody, made a big difference. Especially considering explosive tags, those being costly and difficult to have in large quantities by academy students.

"Good work." Naruto said to his armed doppelganger, slapping him lightly on the shoulder for good measure. "You just won yourself some Ichiraku Ramen tomorrow."

The clone bounced away, promising to continue searching, when a burst of memories took all Narutos. It wasn't, as he'd hoped, the knowledge of how to perform the technique, but was something nearly as good.

A clone had just been drained to dispersion by another one.

It took barely a few moments before said clone bounced in the clearing were Naruto had been sleeping. The smile on his face was infectious, and the various exclamations of success were quickly spreading through the forest.

The successful clone stopped directly in front of Naruto, with a dozen extra following. "Did it, Boss."

"Show me."

The clone did three seals in quick succession, and laid his hand on Naruto's shoulder.

Instantly, Naruto felt how the technique worked. He remembered it from the memories of his now-vanished clone, but these feelings were different. It was like a vacuum sucking sand from all over the inside of his body. It was a bizarre sensation.

Naruto pushed the clone's hand away from his shoulder, smiling all the while. Regardless of how it felt to be on the receiving end, it was evident he now had a new technique under his belt. Even if that was one only his clones could use.

"Good work you too. You're the one who gets ramen tomorrow." The clone jumped of joy.

"You know what to do, right ?"

"Right." With a familiar hand seal, the clone created another clone right beside him.

"Go on." The first clone said to the second.

Taking a big swing, the second clone landed a fast punch square between his two eyes, dispersing himself.

Instantly, Naruto and all of him copies knew what the clone had, meaning the workings of the Jutsu they'd been slaving on. They also remembered the exact feeling of drawing chakra from something. It was very different from being on the receiving end, more like hundreds of small electric shocks, only feeling good.

All the clones bounced back to wherever that had been training, while Naruto cornered the armed clone again.

After a few words and a little draining of chakra, a clone of the armed copy was standing before the original.

"Okay." Naruto had something to try. He needed to pass an order to all his clones, and this was the only way he'd reach them all before the end of the night."I'm gonna use you to pass along an order ok ?" The clone nodded.

"Okay…" Naruto took a deep breath. "All clones are to go around any empty places found and try to find anything that's been left behind. Don't gather any junk, but bring back anything that might be useful. Done."

Hearing that, the clone smashed his head on a nearby rock, dispersing himself instantly.

There was a great cry of "Roger !" and the various copies hanging around started moving and looking around.

Naruto himself left them to their job, and started the trek towards his apartment. In between the drainings, his interrupted nap and the Kage Bunshins, he'd needed ramen and sleep, both in large quantities. He'd see what his clones could find tomorrow.

* * *

As Naruto stretched upon waking up, he realized he had received during the night dozens of memories from bursting clones. He wondered why that hadn't interrupted his sleep this time, but filed that question as unimportant.

More than a hundred copies of himself had perished during the night. Explosive tags were the undisputed kings of shadow clone elimination, though the various traps in training area thirty-two had taken more than forty by themselves. Some of the deaths were humorous, like the one who'd fallen prey to something akin to a giant hamster in training area fifteen, or the one which, by kicking a tree in frustration, managed to make a falling branch impale him.

Dressing up quickly, he was surprised upon entering his apartment. He knew what the fallen clones had found, and they'd found much, but that was nothing compared to what his clones had stacked inside his apartment.

Three bunshins were actually still sorting through a pile of random stuff, a pile that clones (under various henges) coming and going were adding to haphazardly. Four others were drawing on something Naruto realized was his spare bed sheet. They had already drawn what Naruto noticed being the only complete map he'd ever seen of Konoha. Two clones were actually arguing on the relative size of a training ground, only to be corrected by a clone passing by to drop what looked to be two dozen mixed shuriken and kunai.

Said shuriken and kunai were quickly collected, checked and put away in specific boxes. Some, which Naruto suspected were either too damaged, too rusted or too blunt, were neglectfully tossed into a large crate that had replaced his kitchen table.

Naruto turned towards one of the few clones that wasn't busy and was, unsurprisingly, eating ramen.

"And how many clones are still out there ?"

"Don't know, somewhere over a thousand ?"

Naruto was suddenly hit by the massive scale of what he summoned yesterday. He knew bunshins could now technically survive indefinitely now simply by drawing chakra out of trees, but he'd never expected to be able to do so much in some little time. Looking around, he wondered if he'd ever need any more equipment in this life, even counting he'd be three people at the academy.

"You want a summary ?" the clone formerly eating ramen asked.

Naruto nodded.

"There and there." He said, pointing to two piles of crates. "Are the kunai and shuriken. This one." He gestured towards a smaller pile. "Holds the senbon. On the far wall are all other weapons: katana, spears, various polearms, fūma shuriken, those two staves…" The clone continued on. Naruto was amazed at the wealth of different weapons that could be found if you looking far enough.

"Now on that wall is the rest: bits and pieces of different armors, different scrolls, and mainly the new collection we have of hitai-ate."

"Collection ?"

"Yeah, we found most of them far in the forest, probably leftovers from various spying attempts. Some of them were still on a ninja's head, but we got used to that."

"I said only stuff left behind !"

"I meant on a dead ninja's head. We buried the leaf ninjas we found, and brought back whatever information we could about them, but normal paper doesn't survive the passing of time very well, you realize."

Naruto nodded as he took a closer look at this so called collection. It was simply various headbands pinned using shuriken to the back of a large wooden board that Naruto formerly used as target practice.

He had to agree that they almost had them all. Leaf, Cloud, Sand, Rock, Mist, all the main ones were there, including most of them in missing-nin version. Only Missing Sand was left to get among those.

There was also a good amount of the ones from lesser villages. From those Naruto recognized Grass and Waterfall, though they were the only ones he could name. There was one with a crescent moon Naruto was sure to have seen before, but couldn't for the life of him remember where.

As two clones entered from the window, Naruto decided he had enough equipment for now.

"'kay people listen up." All of the copies stopped what they were doing and turned towards him. "I think we have enough stuff for now. Those working on the map and those cleaning up the pile can finish up what they're doing, but everyone coming back with stuff doesn't go back for more."

"What're we gonna be doing ?" Noted one of the recently returned clones.

"We're gonna be going through this." The original countered pointing at the pile of scrolls they copied from the forbidden one.

"We're gonna need to classify those. Four classifications : Learnable, those needing we know specific techniques beforehand, those we won't be ever be able to do, like those that need specific bloodline or such stuff, and those we've got no use learning, like suicidal techniques or stuff that would kill us."

He took a deep breath. "Let's get to it people !"

"Yeah !"

* * *

Umino Iruka was glad to finally be out of the hospital. A general antitoxin had easily flushed out the poison from his system, but the medic had kept him for an extra day just to make sure he'd "purged out everything that Kyūbi brat did", as they said it.

The chūnin knew that Naruto had nothing to do with him being poisoned or any of his other wounds, so guessed that Naruto must have been the one to carry his unconscious body to the hospital. Unsurprising, since the other possible survivor of that battle, Mizuki, would probably have given him a quick death instead of a trip to a healer.

Concerning the specifics of that battle, his own memory was pretty fuzzy. He remembered Naruto coming out of hiding to protect him, a few words here and there of banter between the two ninja, and nothing conclusive after that. He thought he'd seen Naruto use a cloning technique to fill the forest with clones, but wasn't really sure if that was a hallucination or a genuine memory.

It wasn't that he doubted the talent of one of his favourite students, no, it was simply that someone like Naruto, whose lack of skill with the bunshins was legendary, could manage such a feat ? He'd have to see it with his own eyes.

And that was what he was doing, visiting Naruto. He'd already gone to Ichiraku and ordered a dozen or so bowls to go. He'd owed Naruto that much for the save, and he'd wanted to talk to the boy.

As a teacher, Iruka had access to the addresses of any of his students. He'd never been to Naruto's place, though one look at the building and his neighbourhood and the teacher understood why Naruto had never invited him there. Frankly, the place was a dump.

However, it was visible Naruto was home, judging by the sounds coming from his open window. Iruka made his way to the top floor, noting the many voices coming from his student's apartment. Judging that Naruto probably had someone over, he politely knocked on the door.

"Hello Naruto, it's Iruka. Can I come in ?"


	3. The Help of a Friend

A Drop of Poison

Chapter Two : The Help of a Friend

Disclaimer : Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. Ramen belongs to Naruto. Enough said.

* * *

"Hello Naruto, it's Iruka. Can I come in ?" The chūnin's voice echoed all through the apartment, cutting the various Narutos' conversations to shreds.

"Shit !" they all whispered. And then they all burst into a flurry of motion.

The original Naruto quickly rose up to order them around, but realized it was useless. The forty or so clones that had been sorting scrolls in his apartment had launched themselves into a blitz of hiding and displacing the various weapons and other equipment that wasn't supposed to be in the room.

Clones tossed each other crates as his bedroom got filled with most of the spare ninja tools. Eight bunshins struggled by his window to shove through the small opening the crate full of damaged or useless stuff. The map had disappeared. The board with his collection had been turned around, revealing once more the photo of Sasuke Naruto used to aim for.

A great noise sounded as the garbage crate finally managed gave up its struggles to remain inside the apartment and shattered upon arriving upon ground level. Memories surged from the four clones that were supposed to have caught it, but Naruto ignored them with a shake of his head.

"Naruto, are you there ?"

"Coming !" He answered, just to buy some more time. The room was more than half empty now, and most of what was left was stray bits of armor or spare weapons on the far wall.

The original joined the others there, helping shove every remaining instrument into a small closet. When the weapons were done he shoved the remaining clones there too, and closed it forcefully. At least one clone dispersed from the impact, but Naruto once again ignored to memories returning.

A quick look around revealed that nearly all the items the clones had hoarded in his apartment were out of sight, the rest were not numerous enough to cause concern. At worst he'd look like a slob who couldn't take care of his room, but that was good enough.

"Naruto, I'm coming in."

* * *

Iruka expected to find Naruto trying to hide dirty clothes as he came in, but he was disappointed. He found Naruto standing right in front of him with a sheepish smile on his face

'Warning !' was the instant reaction of his subconscious.

Now Iruka was well known for many things : he was an extremely good teacher, who was neither too rough nor too soft. He was a good ninja, with a mastery of the basics well beyond most of his age. He was a kind man, who gave all a chance to prove themselves.

But all that paled compared to his mastery of the many faces of Naruto Uzumaki. He'd taught the boy for two years, and if he couldn't read the blond boy's emotions on his face, no one could.

And that same knowledge told Iruka that he'd caught Naruto at a moment where he wasn't supposed to. The way the boy's eyes tilted told him that much. He'd been planning a prank, as evidenced by the slight smile in the corner of his mouth.

"Hi Naruto. Would you mind some ramen ?"

The way the child hesitated meant that this was something big. He'd never seen Naruto hesitate in front of free ramen. The warnings signals in his mind just tripled.

"Sure, Iruka-sensei."

Iruka's eyebrows surged on their own accord. Whatever the boy was hiding was beyond the big stage now. He'd been polite and not jumped of joy at the thought of free ramen. The only time he'd seen Naruto polite was when he'd asked by borrow his hitai-ate. This didn't bode well.

Instinctively, the chūnin took his environment into account.

Small living room of a two and a half. Clothes and various ninja equipment strewn all around on the ground. Nothing unusual there, he'd been a teenager living alone once and this state was par to the course.

No kitchen table. Bizarre. No, there it is, jammed in a corner of his apartment. Maybe he'd been training ? No, doesn't smell like that. Might explain the noises he heard though.

Something was nagging him though, and he looked around. Open window… Nothing special. But with all the doors closed ?

That's went it flashed to him. While there was lots of stuff all around on the ground, every single door was closed. Cupboards, closet, bathroom, even the door leading to what Iruka expected was his bedroom.

An energetic boy like Naruto, living alone, wouldn't have any reason to close the door to his bedroom, unless it was to hide something.

He turned towards the boy who was still smiling his sheepish smile.

"Naruto… What are you hiding from me ?"

"Nothing…"

"Then there's no reason you'd mind me looking into your bedroom now, would it ?"

* * *

Naruto locked his eyes with those of his teacher. They were firm and hard, just like any time the chūnin discussed punishment with him. He'd never gotten the better of Iruka in one of those situations, either.

Thinking fast, he made and discarded hundreds of plans. Escape meant nothing if the chūnin found all that was hidden in his various rooms, and fighting was straight out of the question. He'd have to go all out to even manage to beat his friend, and that would be a stopgap measure at best since he knew that Iruka wouldn't leave the matter alone until he was satisfied.

That meant the only option was to include Iruka in the plan and hope for the best. If it succeeded, it could only help, as the man was a teacher and could intervene if anything happened during classes. It would also meant a valuable person to confirm his words if his backup plan of revealing his multiple personas to graduate had to be implemented.

"Sensei, can you keep a secret ?"

Iruka looked deeply into the eyes of his favourite student. "It better not be something like your plan from two years ago."

Ouch. He remembered that one. He'd infiltrated the academy during the night and changed the names on every single exam for his own. He was sure at the time that he'd pass with at least one of those.

Of course, the teachers saw through the ruse instantly, especially with the differences between his handwriting and the other students' handwriting. Punishment in the end : Two weeks of garbage duty approved by the Hokage.

"No, it's nothing like that. It's something that'll allow me to pass my classes even with those teachers punishing me for no reason."

Iruka instantly gathered himself to refute Naruto's words, but it died on his lips as soon as his thoughts turned towards teachers other than him. Mizuki was the one who he'd known the best, and the man had, right in front of him, betrayed his own village and tried to kill him. He'd even manipulated Naruto to achieve his ends, all out of his hate of the Kyūbi.

He knew he wasn't like that, but he realized that others might not have been fair regarding the child in front of him. He'd never actually really verified that the others were doing their job correctly, and he now knew of at least one case where he should have.

"I'm listening."

He'd expected for Naruto to launch himself in one of his usual frenzied explanations, but all he did was clap his hands twice and say :

"You can all come out now."

Instantly the air was filled with the sound of crashing metal.

"And try not to destroy everything while you're at it !"

The door to Naruto's closet opened and out stepped two other Narutos and a girl, all three holding various weapons and saying "Then don't shove people into closets, dummy !"

While the Naruto in front of him started an argument with those three, others came out from various places. Iruka boggled at the numbers. There were at least three dozens of them, half of them looking like Naruto, and all of them seemed solid taking into account most were dragging something or other.

Focusing on those not looking like Naruto, the chūnin tried noting a pattern. Nothing came to mind until he realized that one of them was visibly a female version of Shikamaru, except as a blond. Then he realized that brunette looked quite a bit like Sasuke, and that…

All in all, Iruka could identify half of those not looking like Naruto as Narutos under various henges, only because he could recognize the source. The transformations were excellent as Naruto's had always been, and there was no blurred edge or inconsistency in sight. Something Iruka could only expect of a fellow chūnin, if anything.

"So, what's this prank you're planning ?" The chūnin had to agree he was now intrigued. If a single Naruto could manage to paint over the Hokage Monument, what could thirty of them do ? He shuddered at the possibilities.

"It's pretty simple actually. Since the other teachers keep kicking me out of school or giving me false information, I'll go as multiple people. If I, Naruto, get kicked out, the others will still be there in class." All the other clones nodded.

Iruka had to agree that wasn't so bad as far as Naruto's pranks were concerned. It just gave him a chance to live life outside the constraints of being the Kyūbi's jailor.

"Also, if I fail again the exam but one of my clones passes, I can just go to the Hokage and explain the situation. I'm sure the old man won't stop me from passing if I can prove I'm worth the grade."

Iruka saw the boy's point. If they were unfair towards him as Naruto they could manage to stop him from succeeding. The other two however, would have the same normal chance as anybody of graduating.

He had to agree that he couldn't see much that was harmful to others about this plan of his. The worst thing about it was that he'd have three chances at each and every test, but he'd have to take them all in a row. Iruka didn't think the few seconds between each attempt would allow for much improvement.

"So, can you keep this a secret ? Please ?"

"PLEASE !" chorused the army in front of him in perfect synchronisation.

Iruka wasn't immune to the puppy dog eyes of his student, and seeing them from a thirty or so faces made all his resistance crumble in an instant.

"Sure, sure, I won't say anything… But you've got to promise no pranks from your clones at the academy. I have enough on my plate with one of you, I don't need two more following suit."

"Promised ! Anyway they wouldn't be hidden well if they were always doing the same things as me, would they ?"

Iruka nodded. It seemed like his student had really thought about this. The chūnin just hoped he wouldn't have too much trouble holding back his laughter at the situations that were sure to follow.

A single Naruto stepped forward and grabbed the ramen that Iruka had left on the kitchen counter. Iruka was pretty sure this one was the original, but actually wondered.

"Now, Ramen !"

"Ramen !" The rest chorused.

"Where are the two that'd earned ramen yesterday ?"

For some reason only two clones came forward, one transformed while the other not, while the rest swore or looked at Naruto dejectedly. Iruka was amazed. Somehow they were all independent of each other.

"Naruto, you've got to explain to me what happened in the past two days !"

"A second. You people…" He said, turning towards the clones. "Get this place back the way it was, then back to your work ! Those scrolls won't get in order by themselves !"

"Yosh !" They answered in mass.

"Now, where do you want me to start ?"

* * *

As Naruto polished his third bowl of ramen, Iruka was incredulous. So much in only two days. Two forbidden techniques, more weapons than the chūnin had seen on a fully equipped ANBU squad, and still upwards of a thousand clones of Naruto running around ! He knew the boy was capable of great things, but so soon…

And his plan… Iruka actually admired the plan for its simplicity. He'd never checked a student for henge, unless two copies of said student arrived in class. If Naruto could manage to get two clones enrolled in the academy, everybody would assume they were normal students, not some kind of infiltration mission.

Naruto would have to work on his henges though.

"Naruto…" The teacher interrupted his student in his eating. "Which clones are you going to send to the academy ?" Iruka had had difficulty believing that each clone was different, but proof was all around. If it wasn't the few arguments that sprang along some kind of map, it was the different opinions they had about the techniques they were sorting. He had no clue how Naruto managed such a feat, but applauded him nonetheless.

"I hadn't really decided, why ?"

"Can I go ?" said both clones eating ramen with them at the table, obviously having been listening to the conversation.

"Sure, why not ?"

"Well…" Iruka interfered. "You'll need a better henge than that, then."

"What do you mean ?" The transformed clone answered. "I've been all over town and no one ever recognized me."

"For random civilians or for short periods of time it's more than good enough. However, for academy teachers, it's not. I can see you've based your look on Kiba, and that enough for doubt."

"You'll need to make up two completely different forms, not based on anybody, if you really want to fool chūnins. Now, for your two disguises…"

"Six."

"Six ? Why six?"

"Two for the academy. Two in civilian school. And two more simply for looking around, and buying stuff for the others."

Iruka was stunned at the idea. Sure, the most difficult of those was ninja academy, but with two other places at the same time ? The amount Naruto would be able to learn was enormous. He suddenly realized that he was seeing the rise of an infiltration specialist like Konoha never had before, and couldn't believe from what source.

"Okay, six then. Can you bring three more clones up here ?"

With only a few words, Iruka had six Narutos in his usual orange suit standing right in front of him, the original among them. The chūnin realized that Naruto was unusually focused on his words, the like of which he'd never been in class.

"Ok. Now tell me what you've come up until now."

"Not much really." All the Narutos standing before him scratched the back of their heads. "Only idea I had was that half of us should be girls."

"That's a good start actually." And scary if he managed to pull it off. Very few people were able to impersonate people of the other sex effectively, but that made people finding out much less likely if managed correctly.

The last three Narutos did a few seals, and then turned into female versions of themselves. Iruka feared they'd use the boy's so called Oiroke no Jutsu, but they were fully clothed. Anybody knowing the transformation technique would divine that the original was Naruto, though most civilians would think them sisters or female twins.

The female Narutos were a little too top-heavy for kids of their age, but that was something to be worked on later.

There was something else that was nagging him, but he just couldn't put a finger on it.

"First point : Hair and eyes. Those are your two most recognizable traits. Therefore, they're the ones you must change the most radically." A chorus of "Henge no Jutsu !" was his answer.

"No, no pink hair. I know Sakura in your class has some, but it stands out horribly. Change it."

"Good thinking on the different eye shape, but not that shade of green. Take a more natural one."

"Change the body size a little. You're the smallest student in the class, so your clones should be a little taller."

"Shrink those breasts a little."

"Back up. What hand seals did you do again ?"

The original Naruto looked at Iruka strangely. "Ram, why ?"

"Ram ?" Why ram ? It didn't even figure in the usually needed seals !

"Yeah, I know it's supposed to be reversed snake, horse, ram, but I always found it more easy with just ram. Is there a problem with that ?"

"Where did you get that information ?"

"On the sheet the teacher gave every student. I'd missed the class, but the teacher was kind enough to give me one anyway."

"Do you still have it ?"

"I think I do." With that, Naruto dashed into his bedroom, jumping over a set of clones along the way. He came back minutes later with an old sheet of wrinkled paper.

"Here." He handed the sheet to Iruka.

To Iruka's eyes, it obviously was a printout like the one he usual gave after showing a technique. It was, however, wrong on so many levels that its simple presence disgusted Iruka.

Half the text about the technique was missing, with a good quarter modified to uselessness. The seals shown were totally wrong, and didn't even fit with any technique Iruka had knowledge of. Reverse snake was so rare, he barely knew a single technique that used it !

Iruka had never questioned Naruto's transformation technique, as it was evident, even through his multiple pranks, that he was more proficient than most genins with it. Now it looked like he should have, even if it was only to make sure Naruto had received the right printout.

"You sure that was a teacher who gave you that ?"

"Sure. It was old man Kawasaki, you know, the one you replaced. You teach ninjutsu way better than him, actually."

The chūnin teacher was appalled to find that Naruto was actually more right than he knew with his words that the teachers punished him for no reasons. He now had physical proof that at least one had tried to force Naruto never to be a ninja. How horrible.

Konoha seemed now a much shadier place, he realized.

Wait a minute…

Looking at the Naruto Iruka had been talking to for the past few minutes, he asked. "You're the real one, right ?"

"Right."

"Can you turn into a copy of me. I want to test something about your technique."

"Sure." A burst of smoke later, an exact copy of him was looking right in his eyes.

"Stretch your hands to the side, maximum extension."

He did. Iruka grabbed both his wrists and squeezed, hard.

"Ouch ! You don't have to press so hard !"

"Sorry, just testing something." Something impossible, that was what. "Don't move now."

Iruka poked Naruto in the forehead, then pushed hard suddenly. He pushed his copy's head back a little, but Naruto visibly was trying to move as little as possible.

"My gods it's physical."

"Of course it is." Replied his student, turning back into himself. "It's not a transformation for nothing you know."

Iruka almost started correcting him, but realized it would only sadden the kid to know. He held back his lecture, and instead answered :

"I meant I'm surprised your technique is that good considering you're just using a third of the seals. That's actually pretty advanced for your age."

He'd go to the Hokage afterwards and explain the situation to him, which would be much more productive.

Naruto (And his clones, Iruka suddenly realized) beamed at the compliment.

"But let's go back to your different henges. Turn back to the point where you left." He did. "It seems all good enough, though this one…" He pointed at the last male clone in the line. "And this one…" He pointed to the female clone right beside it. "Are a little too similar."

"That's the plan, actually." Both clones answered. "We thought pretending to be brother and sister might explain us appearing about the same time."

"Good, but that means both of you will be the ones going to civilian school. Two of the same family at the same time is pretty rare for ninjas."

The six clones nodded.

"Have you given thought to how you'll get your clones to be 'officially' in Konoha ?"

"I thought they might be orphans like Tasuki from last year."

"Not a bad idea, but it won't work for all of them. Konoha gets orphans from outside wanting to be ninja once every year or two, so both of them at the same time would be drawing some attention."

"So what do you suggest ?"

Iruka thought for a second. "The most important will be the two clones going as shinobi. I'd say to enter the boy as an orphan, but for the girl I'd have her father bring her to Konoha, saying she want to become a shinobi. We get some of those regularly, mostly women or second sons from outside merchants. Remember Tenten, two years ago ?"

Naruto nodded.

"It happened like that for her."

"Wait !" Interrupted a clone. "Where would we get her father ?"

"Another clone, simply."

"What about the two civilians ?"

"For them, two choices. Either we pass them as orphans and get them into an orphanage, or we…"

"Not. Gonna. Happen !" All the Narutos standing before the chūnin shouted. Naruto could remember his time in the orphanage very well, and wasn't going to return there even for something like that. He'd barely stayed there until he was six, especially since no foster parents wanted him, and he was glad when the Sandaime finally intervened and gave him his apartment. He'd tried escaping at least a hundred times, and he was pretty sure the only reason the Hokage gave him his own place was so that those masked guys wouldn't have to hunt him over and over again.

"Okay…" Iruka decided not to argue about that fact. "So they need to come to Konoha with their family. Buy a house, start a shop or get a job, and enrol their kids into school. Nothing special about that."

"One thing though we need to make sure is that none of them arrive at the same time. Four people, no matter different they are, would be grouped together if they arrive at the same time or close to."

"Okay, noted. But how are we supposed to buy a house ? And how about the two clones looking around ?"

"For those looking around, we don't actually need the paperwork that comes with people going to school. Everyone will just assume that they have the necessary paperwork. It's not like Konoha citizens need an identity card or something like that."

"For a house though…" Iruka couldn't really think of a good answer. He himself had one, but sharing it would be very suspicious. And he couldn't expect Naruto to have the funds required for such an undertaking.

He made and discarded a few plans in his head, and the only thing he could come up was going to the Hokage for funds. He have to choose his words carefully to get what he needed and still keep his promise to Naruto, but if any could be talked into helping, the Sandaime was the right person.

"Let me check a few things first." He finally answered. "I might have an idea, but I'll need to talk to someone first."

"Remember your promise !"

"I will, I will." He answered, stepping back towards the door. He'd barely eaten half his ramen with everything going on, but he was sure it wouldn't go to waste in this place.

"I will see you later, Naruto." With that he stepped outside Naruto's apartment, and walked quickly towards what he hoped would be a good meeting with the most powerful person in Konoha.

Naruto had never noticed that Iruka had kept the sheet with the transformation instructions with him.

* * *

The door closed behind Naruto's favourite chūnin with a sound akin to the ringing of a gong.

The original Naruto, still in his henge as the female ninja that would be going with him to the academy, quickly looked around. There were smiles all around, be it on the other transformed bunshins or the clones working on weapons or scrolls in the background.

The plan was still on.

"Yatta !" The original exclaimed, jumping of joy. Not only they'd managed to get Iruka to promise not to say anything, but they'd even gotten his help with the prank. And the chūnin even said he was above his age about something.

He high-fived the other clones that stood for Iruka's henge review, and noticed that he wasn't the only partying. The clones in the background had evidently been listening to everything. Four of them were even launching another one in the air repeatedly at their success.

"Now enough fun, we still have a lot to do." The real Naruto's voice cut through the celebrations. "Status report !"

"Scrolls are about three quarters done, though we've added another category." Answered a Naruto before the pile of remaining scrolls. He neglectfully tossed the scroll he'd been holding into another pile.

"What's that ?"

"Suicidal techniques that might be interesting to learn. For clones, I mean."

"Good call on that. Sacrificing a single clone for an opponent isn't much of a loss for us." They all nodded. "Weapons and armor ?"

"Everything's sorted. It was especially easy since no clone came while Iruka was here."

Oh yeah, the clones he'd burst while hiding stuff must have passed the message, and the ones outside had logically stayed away. They'd probably remain so until they received an all clear.

"So what clones don't have anything to do ?"

A dozen raised their hand.

"Ok, so come up here." The selected bushins did. "You gang are gonna train in the specific henges we're holding. You're gonna continue until you can pass from one to any other fluidly, then you're gonna burst yourselves. We need to pass both the knowledge of these forms and the fact that Iruka's gone as soon as possible."

With the Narutos' innate mastery of the transformation technique, it took barely two minutes before the first clone dispersed himself by jamming his head on the corner of Naruto's kitchen table.

Naruto tested the forms right after that. Good, everything was perfect.

Memories surged again barely an instant later, so Naruto expected another of his clones outside had a message to send. He remembered a whole lot of going around the forest, grabbing stuff, and had memories of doing the same in Konoha.

He remembered finding an abandoned mansion, with seals protecting the windows. He'd remembered using the Chakra Draining Technique to bypass them, and going inside to find dozens of abandoned rooms. Good, he'd fund a new use to that technique. He'd even found a giant underground training room.

But the main memory was the following words, the last thing he'd heard before bursting.

"All Narutos should come and see this as soon as possible. We possibly have an even better training ground found now."

Coming back to the present, the real Naruto found all his clones looking at him with eager eyes. They were very obviously waiting for his approval.

"You !" He pointed towards one of the clones that had taken liberties with the ramen Iruka left. "You stay here in case Iruka comes back. The rest of you, let's go !"

"Yosh !"

Naruto's apartment then proceeded to empty itself through its single window.

* * *

Coming up in front of Hokage tower, Iruka made to the guards the hand sign meaning he required a meeting with the Hokage.

His presence wasn't anything special. As the top teacher at the academy, he met with the Sandaime sometimes more than twice a day. Most of those meetings were actually about Naruto, though the chūnin had actually lodged complaints about other students some of those times.

The various guards let him pass as they always did, though the ANBU guarding his door stopped him.

It seemed that the Hokage was busy, and that Iruka would have to wait.

And wait he did, his mind going over the words and phrases he would use. He was pretty sure the Hokage would agree with his proposition, but the trick was how not to reveal too much and break the promise he made. He would if he had to, the opportunity to get Naruto a normal education was worth more, but Iruka was a man of his word and he'd do everything in his power not to come to that.

Anyway, he was pretty sure that the Sandaime would keep Naruto's secret if it came that he had to reveal it. The man had always tried everything to get Naruto accepted in Konoha, so he'd continue on with this secret.

A tap on his shoulder interrupted his musing. One of the ninja guarding the door was there, trying to get his attention. He'd been thinking so hard he'd even forgotten to pay attention to his environment.

"The Hokage will see you now." The man said.

* * *

Author's Notes

-About Naruto's transformation technique being different : It's evident from the Naruto Bridge arc the Naruto's Transformation is different. It's either that or Sasuke having an innate mastery of throwing Naruto like a shuriken in the shadow of another one.

I chose to go with the most logical choice.

-About the information about seals : I took all the information for seals on Narutopedia, which I use as a reference for this story. The transformation technique requires reverse ram, and not ram. However, Naruto's Oiroke no Jutsu (which is supposedly a transformation) needs only ram.


	4. A Base of Operations

A Drop of Poison

Chapter Three : A Base of Operations

Disclaimer : Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. Ramen belongs to Naruto. Enough said.

* * *

"Good day, Hokage-sama."

"Ah, Iruka, glad to see you out and in good health. I see the medics didn't hold you long."

Though the Sandaime was not supposed to have any favourites, He could readily admit to himself that Umino Iruka was one of the chūnin he preferred. The man was one of the best teachers the academy ever had, and genuinely cared about the success of his students. It was sad the man had given up on becoming jōnin, as he would have liked to see what a team led by someone like him could have accomplished.

"Longer than they should have, Hokage-sama, but not too much luckily."

"And for what reason have you come before me today ? Has Naruto painted over my face once again ?"

"No Hokage-sama, but I did come back from a meeting with him."

"And I supposed he is once again angry at being stuck for another year at the academy ? I wish I could help him, especially since those of his age just passed while he didn't, but the council would have my head if I showed the Kyūbi child any measure of favouritism. To them, it's already too much that he stays alive."

"It isn't that Hokage-sama…" Actually, Iruka suddenly realized, Naruto hadn't said one word against his failing at the academy. "May I ask a question ?"

"You may."

"What priority would you give to Naruto having a normal childhood, and the same chance as anyone at the academy ?"

"How I wish that could be so…" The Sandaime replied, looking out the window at the Hokage monument. "It will unfortunately never happen. As much as I'd like to weed out from Konoha those seeing Naruto as the Kyūbi, they are much too numerous and powerful. I thought Mizuki could be trusted with the students, and look what happened." He took a puff from his pipe. "It is simply not to be."

"What if I told you I had a way of doing such a thing ? Would you back such an attempt ?"

The Hokage put his pipe down and stared at the chūnin in his office. "Explain."

"I cannot."

"Why ?" He owed the Fourth that chance, and he'd already flubbed it so much the man feared what his afterlife would be.

"It is Naruto's plan, his 'prank' as he calls it. He made me swear not to reveal to anyone its content."

"Is it like his frequent plans to pass the academy ? It is not anything illegal, I hope ?"

"From what I know of his plan, it's totally unlike any he's had before. Part of his plan actually includes returning to the academy for another year, which should ease your concern about this being another of those quick passing plans of his."

It did. "What about the legality of such a thing ?"

"It is borderline, I will admit, but not something really defined. It is more like abusing the system for his own good."

"Iruka, I will trust your judgement on this. If you were in my place and learned of such a thing, would you agree with it ?"

"With what I learned about Mizuki and the proof I had today, I would, Hokage-sama." He bowed at the trust the Sandaime showed him on this.

"What proof ?"

Iruka removed the transformations instructions that Naruto had forgotten to reclaim. "This." He handed the sheet to his superior.

The Hokage's office was silent for a few moments while the elder man read the instructions contained on the paper.

"But… This makes no sense at all ? Where did you get such a falsified document ?"

"Naruto handed it to me at my request. He'd received it two years hence, during his first year in the academy, from his ninjutsu instructor. He'd been sent out of class, but the man graciously…" Iruka added with evident sarcasm. "Gave him a copy."

Gears turned inside the Sandaime's head, and he didn't like the results they were giving. "You meant these are all the instructions Naruto Uzumaki received for performing the Henge no Jutsu ? But… It's his best technique ! He even knocked me out with its use !"

"He did ?"

"Yes. He called it his Oroike no Jutsu, but the basic principle remains. I was unconscious for hours after that." The Hokage smiled at the memory of such an inventive use of the basics.

The chūnin smiled too. "He nailed me with that one too, Hokage-sama. I must admit it does take one by surprise."

"Then how was he able to achieve such a feat ?"

"I do not know, Hokage-sama. What I know is that the technique Naruto uses is not the same one as the academy teaches. His produces actual physical changes."

"Actual physical… You realize what you are saying is preposterous ?"

"I know, Hokage-sama. I tested it myself and even then had actual difficulty believing it. Naruto even confirmed it."

"He knows ?"

"He always did. But with the instructions he received…"

The Hokage looked down at the instruction sheet once again. "I can see why with these instructions he thought that way. How is it that this never came to light before ?"

"I must admit that I had never put careful attention to the way he performed the technique. It was so evident he had no problems with it that I focused on other students having difficulties."

"I see how that might have happened." The ninja leader took back his pipe and gratefully breathed in another puff of tobacco. "You are sure this 'prank' of Naruto will allow him to get an unbiased education ?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama."

"And why are you coming to me then ?"

"To succeed, Naruto and I are in need of certain… means… that are outside those of a chūnin or an academy student. I wondered if I could get your approval for access to such means."

"You will not say more ?"

Iruka bowed deeply. "Please do not force me to break my promise Hokage-sama. I probably have already said too much."

The Hokage took another puff of his pipe. He liked Iruka and trusted him, but a prank from Naruto…

Promises. It all came down to promises. Iruka had promised Naruto to keep his secret. The Third had promised the Fourth to take care of his child, the one who'd saved Konoha.

He really had no choice. If he'd wanted the look at his successor in the face, he needed to go along. He tried so much to get that result, failed so many times… He just had to do it.

Taking a blank scroll from his second drawer he started writing. He had no choice but to be very general, as he knew very little.

'There', he thought, as he imprinted the Hokage's seal in wax at the bottom with his ring. If this wasn't enough he didn't think anything would be. At least he would be able to say to his successor that he'd tried his best.

"Here." The Hokage tossed Iruka the scroll. "You should be able to get what you need with this. However I will be holding you responsible for this plan of Naruto, you understand ?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama."

"Then good luck and Godspeed, chūnin."

* * *

Bouncing over the rooftops of Konoha, Naruto was assaulted by dozens of memories. Many of the clones outside had also responded to the all call, and had fallen to the considerable defences that the place had.

Luckily, by the time Naruto arrived with the clones that had been working in his apartment, the path to take had been very much cleared of traps. Some of his clones were actually still in the process of removing them, tearing up parts of the floor with seals inscribed on them, or cutting tripwires, so getting to the place they'd been called was easy.

Whoever this place had belonged to, they'd been home security fanatics, that was for sure.

Naruto found the clone who called them in the basement of the place, and what a basement that was ! It was easily two miles deep and more than that wide. Naruto instantly agreed that it would make a much more effective training ground, mainly because of the fact it was hidden and because it might actually be able to fit all his clones inside it.

The boy made his way before the clone that had summoned them, the crowd of clones already present moving to make way.

"So, you like ?" Said the bunshin who'd found the place.

"You sure it's not used ?"

"Judging by the cobwebs I found when I made my way here, I'd say only spiders could state this as a living place by now."

"You know who did it belong to ?"

"Some folks called the Uruharas. Don't know anything about them."

"I do." replied one of the clones that had followed Naruto from his apartment. "One of them created Kido Kagayaki, one of the techniques on the forbidden scroll."

"Not only that one." added another. "I'd say one out of every four techniques I looked at was made by someone of the Uruhara clan."

Most of the clones from the apartment nodded in agreement.

"So this is the place of people who created forbidden techniques ? I can see why they needed a place as big as this to train." Naruto exclaimed.

"You don't know the half of it !" replied a clone."More than half the techniques I sorted coming from them ended up in one of the two suicidal piles."

"Like what ?"

"Like a technique that instantly turns all your chakra into electricity, while it's still in your body. It electrocutes anybody you were holding on, but even if you survive the shock, your coils will probably be permanently damaged. Stuff like that."

Naruto shuddered. "Sure seems like every forbidden technique damages your coils."

The mass of bunshins nodded.

"Not really…" said a clone coming from the apartment. "I've been sorting techniques for a while, and there are a few common reasons. Chakra intensive or damage to the chakra coils is one, but there's also Jutsu that are simply too dangerous for normal people to try and teach, there are those banned mostly for political reasons, those that will simply kill you if you get them right…"

"Really !"

"Yup. There's one that physically turns your body into a bomb and blows you up."

"There's one that uses your soul as a sacrifice to summon the god of death."

"Another simply instantly kills you. Was probably made to use in case you were going to be captured."

"Well that's all good but this a discussion for another time." Cut the clone who'd summoned them here. "I think everyone here is in agreement that this is the best place to use as a main base, correct ?"

"Yeah !"

"There are at least four exits from here that lead outside the house, though the clones I've sent to look have come back yet, I'm reasonably sure the east one ends up somewhere in the forest."

"I'll confirm that…" Said a voice coming from the back of the crowd. "But not only there. The path branches some time after the door, so there's at least three different exits that way. The one I checked does lead to the forest though, ending as a false wall in a cave."

"Same thing to the north." Called out another voice. "Ends up in the sewers for the exit I mapped, but there's at least four more."

"Ditto for south. Exit ends up in a training ground."

"West has at least four, the one I checked leads into an abandoned shop."

The crowds parted to give way to the four clones, who stopped in front of the original and the one who'd found the place. "Good work." Said the real one. "But you'll need to go back. Each take twenty or so clones with you, and map out everything. Burst yourselves as soon as you get to the exit, since we'll need to know how best to gather the stuff we left in the apartment. That stuff needs to move, pronto. It was chance enough that Iruka agreed to keep our secret. There's no saying what would happen if the old man came looking."

All clones shuddered at the thought of the Sandaime finding their apartment like that. Naruto liked the man, really he did, but the town leader could be very harsh when he wanted.

"So, apart from this place, found anything else ?"

"Well the usual… A few shuriken and kunai, a scroll or two… But I haven't finished looking around this place. I called you as soon as I found this, and waited with the rest of them."

"Okay…" The original thought for a few seconds. "First thing here is cleaning up the inside of this place. We need to make sure no traps are left, as I don't want to lose a foot to an explosive trap we forgot. HOWEVER ! Don't change anything that might be visible outside. We need people to think it's still abandoned or else we might get unwanted visitors."

"Yosh !"

As the orange swarm of his clone army dashed towards the various exits, Naruto took a good look around his new training facility. Without his many copies it seemed even more spacious, and he could see there were various different features that had evaded his notice the first time.

There were a few rocky outcroppings around on one side, while on the other a few pools stood (still full, surprisingly), probably for water element training. The lighting was provided by huge seals totally alien to the few Naruto had already seen. He wondered how the Uruhara had managed to place those on the ceiling, however.

A burst of knowledge interrupted his musings. One of the clones upstairs had fallen afoul a seal linked to a kunai thrower. Naruto sighed.

As more and more memories surged from his dying doppelgangers, Naruto stopped his analysis of the room and focused on sorting the various thoughts, hoping to find amongst all of them the various exits he'd need mapped.

* * *

Iruka had wasted no time in running back towards Naruto's apartment as soon as the Hokage gave him leave. He'd started thinking as soon as the Sandaime's scroll was in his hand, and realized that he had only two weeks to prepare Naruto for his multiple entries into the academy, and that along with the natural preparations he had to perform for the next starting class. He was going to be pretty rushed as is, having missed two days due to Mizuki's poisoned shuriken, so he wanted to waste no time in making Naruto ready.

Entering his student's home via the window, the chūnin was surprised to see it was nearly empty. The various weapons were still around, true, but the numerous clones he'd seen earlier were very much absent.

In fact, there was only a single Naruto there. He was slowly but surely finishing the ramen Iruka had brought earlier and totally forgotten in the various events of the day.

The teacher strode forward and asked : "Your many clones finally came to their limit, I see."

Actually, Iruka was a little grateful for the absence of clones. He was himself a well trained ninja, and his reserves were nothing to be ashamed about, but he was pretty sure that he wouldn't even be able to form half this many clones with this technique. He had problems doing that many at once with the normal bunshin, and it was well known that the Kage Bunshin demanded much more out of the user.

Naruto slurped the many noodles he had in his mouth before aswering. "Nope, they just left to check out the new place one of them found. Wait a second, I need to send a message."

With a single hand seal, another clone appeared right beside the first. The new clone wasted no time in bursting himself by stabbing his own hand down a spear hanging on the wall.

"You're calling the clones back ?"

"Nope, just messaging Naruto. I'm pretty sure he's the one you really want to talk to."

"Yes, I mean… You're not the real one ?"

"Nope, clone." Said clone slurped down the broth of his bowl with an appreciative noise. "Oh, I almost forgot. Thank you for the ramen."

"And you can use the Kage Bushin ?"

"Sure, why not ?"

Iruka had been thinking of what excuses he might use for Naruto to be able to replace his clones while they were practicing Ninjutsu, but he wondered now if his student's chakra reserves were actually infinite. I mean, it was one thing the be able to use a Jōnin-level technique, but it was quite another to be able to produce a hundred clones each able to use the same technique ! And without dispersing themselves, even !

What was that boy, anyway ?

* * *

Naruto recognized instantly the memories of the clone he left in his apartment. Iruka wouldn't have come back without answers, he knew, and the chūnin's stance made it quite possible that he'd gotten what he needed.

With a quick seal he formed a single clone.

"Okay…" He said to the clone. "You're gonna stay here and pass the message. As soon as they've finished upstairs and the exits are fully explored, we're going to start packing stuff from the apartment. Unless there's a quicker way, use the closest exit in the sewers. We'll use the grate in the alley beside the building as an exit."

"Yes Sir" the clone said, standing ramrod straight and saluting. For a second, Naruto wondered what thoughts were going on in the heads of his clones. Then he burst into motion.

Somewhere close to half the paths leading out were already explored, and one of them was the one leading to the sewers close to his own place. He used that one and, after three failed attempts, found the ladder leading to the grate in the alley next to his apartment. From there he was only a few bounds from his window.

Entering, he realized that his teacher had gone back to his ramen. Good, he deserved it. Meanwhile, Naruto turned towards his clone.

"You know how I got here ?"

"I have a good idea." Evidently he'd remembered the very same things Naruto did.

"Then you're gonna take the same path and return there. When's time to start packing, you'll lead them here, okay ?"

"Yes boss !" The copy left through the window that Naruto had just entered from.

"So, Iruka, how was your meeting ?"

"Good enough. The Hokage gave me this scroll to prove my access to enough money for your prank." He handed the scroll to Naruto.

"The old man ? Damn ! I wanted to surprise him !" He doubted he could, as the town leader always seemed informed of everything happening. Hopefully he'd play along as he always did.

"I didn't tell him anything about your prank, Naruto. I managed to get that scroll without saying too much, I think."

"Good." Naruto trusted Iruka's word. If he thought he didn't say too much, then that was good enough for him.

Iruka continued eating his noodles in silence while Naruto checked out what the Sandaime had given them access to.

"Eh… Iruka ?"

"Yes ?"

"Did you actually read the scroll ?"

"Actually, I did not. I wanted to inform you as soon as possible."

"I think you better read it…"

The chūnin took back the scroll Naruto was handing him, and read.

_The bearer of this document is acting with my full will and backing. All demands made  
by the bearer are to be considered as coming from me, Sandaime Hokage Sarutobi._

_All information, discussions and relevant documents are to be ranked as an S-rank  
secret, with appropriate security bindings. Any information revealed is to be treated  
as an act of treason and to be punished with the capital penalty._

_So decreed,  
Honorable Sandaime Hokage,  
Sarutobi Hiruzen_

"My god…" The teacher exclaimed.

"Is it as much as I thought it is ?"

Iruka nodded mechanically. He knew he hadn't given much information to the elder ninja, but he was pretty sure that the man had understood that it was money he was asking for. A document like this one was on a whole different scale ! He technically had access to any amount of money with that, amongst other things. Hell ! With a document like this one, he could probably order the ANBU out on mission !

"I think, Naruto, that I'm going to keep this with me for a while…" Iruka said, rolling the scroll and putting back in his pocket. He trusted Naruto a lot, but he was pretty sure that the boy wouldn't be able to help himself and use it for pranks if he knew how much power it gave.

"But it's gonna help us with the prank, yes ?"

"Of course."

"That paper's gonna get us enough to buy a house ?"

"Easily. With that, I could get enough to probably buy half of Konoha."

Naruto smiled. Seemed everything was back on track. Now to explain about his new place. "Say, Iruka, do you know anything about the Urahara Clan ?"

The teacher thought for a few seconds. "They were an old clan that joined Konoha when it was created. Never as big as the Uchiha or the Hyūga , though. It was said they and the Uchiha hated each other with a passion."

"Why's that ?"

"Well, they were well known for creating many techniques, so I supposed it was natural that they be opposed to a clan that had the Sharingan. Also, there were rumours that the Urahara were very… fluid… with the law, something a clan known for being the ninja police mustn't have liked."

"Ninja police ?"

"You probably don't remember since you were so young, but before they were nearly exterminated the Uchiha were well-known members of the Military Police. They were the ones who enforced the law inside Konoha, instead of the ANBU as it is now."

"And the Urahara, what happened to them ?"

"Well, the last died out fighting the Kyūbi, though the clan had been dying for decades from what I heard. Seemed they kept killing themselves trying to create new and more powerful techniques."

"So, they had a mansion, or compound, or something… What happened to it ?"

"Same thing that happens to all the proprieties of ninja families dying out… They go back to the Hokage. Some are turned into training grounds, others are sold to merchant families for money. Why do you ask ?"

"Would it be possible to buy out their place ?"

"Why ?"

Naruto racked his brain for an explanation that might fit with what he wanted, but in the end decided it would be better be to show his new place to the chūnin teacher. It would a valid explanation by itself.

"Iruka, can I show something ? Something that just as secret as the prank ?"

The adult thought for a second, but went with the fact that whatever Naruto had hidden, it would be better if he knew and could convince the boy not to do. "Sure."

"Follow me."

The two ninjas jumped back to the alley, only to find a clone there holding the grate open, and clones coming out one by one.

A flicker of surprise crossed Iruka's face at the sight. He wondered if he would ever get used to the massive amount of bunshins that could be there any time now.

Naruto, however, went directly into what the chūnin started calling 'Boss Mode'. Straightening himself, he looked at his clones with obvious leadership.

"You all know what to take, right ?"

A chorus of nods answered him.

"Remember to place everything back as it was before this whole thing started. Now go !"

"Yosh !" Some clones answered, while other, immediately jumped for his windows without saying anything.

Waiting until the clones stopped coming out, Naruto led Iruka back on the path he'd use to come to his apartment.

Iruka, however, paid careful attention to the way. As a ninja, he was no stranger to secrets paths or hidden exits, but the depth of these was surprising. By his estimations, they were at least three kilometres under Konoha. The chūnin suddenly had a flash of fear at the thought that the orange academy student might have found a hidden ANBU supply depot or something of the sort, and feared what the boy might come up with that many explosive tags.

It fit with what he had seen. A hidden entrance somewhere accessible but not obvious (aka the sewers), paths lit by chakra seals, way below Konoha… the only thing bizarre was the signs of disuse, mainly seen through the damaged seals not longer producing light that came up frequently.

When the chūnin finally exited the various corridors and entered the room proper, he actually wondered where he was. It was evident that this wasn't of ANBU make, being way too large to have any purpose expect as a shelter. The only thing that came to mind was that this was a training ground.

"Naruto, what is this place ?"

"The Uraharas I talked about earlier…" Iruka nodded. "This is their basement."

Looking around, the academy teacher could divine what this place had been when the former clan was still active. It was a perfect place to train your people in techniques that were either illegal or dangerous. The paths like the one he took would have been of great value for the smuggling operations that they were accused but never proved of doing. Especially if there were roads leading the other way in the forest.

"Ok, I understand you asking what they were. But why do you want to buy such a place ?"

"We'll need a place to meet."

Iruka didn't understand. "What do you mean ?"

"I mean me, my clones… Even you. The fact that you would eat supper with me might not be suspicious, but if you keep being seen around me or my clones all the time, someone's gonna figure out something's wrong before long. The same thing with my transformed clones. If I keep hanging with them while everyone keeps telling them that I'm a demon, one day a person will find that bizarre and investigate. And that's not saying what might have happened if the wrong person had come to my apartment while it was filled with weapons."

Iruka paused for a second, thinking the implications while bunshins came and went carrying weapons and ninja tools. He had to agree to boy had a point. The fact that the chūnin had passed a whole day with Naruto might not draw attention, especially since the boy had just saved him, but whole weeks ? He reasoned that having a secret meeting place might be the best, especially one that seemed to have so many secret exits.

Actually, Naruto having his own place might solve quite a few problems. The chūnin had seen the looks the other tenants of his building gave him, and didn't think it was a good environment for the boy to live in. The size of his apartment also made most training difficult, and with the reactions of most Konoha citizens he didn't think he'd be able to buy another place when the time came, not unless he paid exorbitant prices. This house was abandoned and its deed was probably in Shinobi Archival, so it wasn't as if he was hurting anyone.

All in all, it was a good plan, and one easily done with the powers the Hokage had granted him.

"Ok. First thing first, nobody is allowed to talk about the fact that you're the Kyūbi's prison. That fact is a secret as well guarded as the one of your prank, and you saw what the punishment was for that one…"

"About that… What is capital punishment actually ?"

"Death by execution. That's probably what awaits Mizuki as soon as the ANBU find out what were his plans with the forbidden scroll."

"You mean that talking about my pranks to someone is punishable by death ?"

"To someone who doesn't know, yes. That means that except you, since you're the source of both these secrets, anyone talking about either the Kyūbi's jailor or your 'prank' is forbidden to the greatest level."

"Okay…" Naruto said, nodding numbly. "What's second ?"

"Second is that I agree with your reasoning, and think this place will make a much better home for you. Since it's probably the official propriety of Konoha by now, tomorrow I'll go to Shinobi Archival and get the official deed. That's all we need actually, and the Hokage's paper grants me more than enough power to do so."

Naruto jumped forward and hugged his favorite chūnin as hard as he could. For once, everything was going so well ! He had a new place, new techniques, better equipment than ever, and he even had the best chance he ever had to pass at the academy ! And with a prank, even !

"Wouldn't it be better going now ? I mean, it's barely early evening !"

"I prefer to wait. Me coming directly from a talk with you to go to Shinobi Archival might raise some eyebrows. I'll do it first thing tomorrow morning, along with passing at a bank for the funds we'll need."

"Yatta !" Naruto jumped of joy. A few clones passing around looked at him with curiosity, but kept working along.

"Now, something else… Can you do the various henge we worked on earlier today ?"

Within a second Naruto had produced another six clones beside him, and another had them into the various forms they'd be using regularly.

Iruka, who was well used to analyzing henges, found no flaw or error in the clones. They were exactly the same as he'd remembered from before his meeting with the Hokage. Either Naruto was a natural at shapechanging, which might explain his unerring talent with the technique, or he'd trained extensively on those six shapes. Probably a bit of both.

"Good. Have you planned in what order you'll get them in Konoha ?"

"I think the best might be the female ninja first, the civilian family next and the male ninja last."

"I agree, but we'll need to give them names first. Have you thought about that ?"

He hadn't. He racked his brain for a few seconds, but came up with nothing than wasn't evident (Like Naruko) or the name of a former classmate. In desperation, he turned towards the clones carrying the former contents of his place.

"Anyone have any idea of a name for our female ninja clone ?"

The horde stopped what they were doing and plunged into thought themselves.

"Eh…"

"Um."

"Not really."

"Ariko." Said one in the back.

Ariko. He thought about it for a few minutes. He liked the connotations. "Good, one down. How about the male one ?"

"Muremaru." Said the clone who was in the specific form of that persona. It was blatant he'd been thinking about it.

"Muremaru it is. And the others ?" Naruto said, smiling. Iruka, however, couldn't help but snicker inside. It was a prank all right, and the names fit perfectly. Luckily people probably wouldn't notice the link, especially if Naruto kept from using his cloning technique too much.

Now all the clones got in the game and gave their favorites, each talking over the other and trying to make himself listened to.

Iruka, well used to a rowdy class, took a sheet of paper, a pen and started noting those worth something. Slowly the clones even started inventing family names, something which suited the chūnin just fine.

Eventually Naruto got tired of trying to make sense of all those copies speaking over each other and shut up everyone with an order.

"Here." Iruka handed the sheet he'd been taking notes on to the boy. "That's a list of the ones I found the most promising. Sit down tonight and choose those you like. I'll see you tomorrow around noon."

"Ok… Where do we meet tomorrow ?"

"Where's best ?"

"You know training ground 23 ?" Interjected a clone.

"You all know very well I do. It's the closest one to the academy."

"Meet us there then… One question though, where do you live ?"

"Why ?"

"To use the best exit of course." The clone replied.

Giving general directions and receiving some in exchange, Iruka found himself coming out thirty minutes later out of a moss-covered fountain in a copse of trees a block or two from his home. He'd been there many times in his youth, even cried over his parents at this very same spot, and he'd never thought of finding a secret path there.

He wondered where else those paths lead, and shuddered to think what could happen if one led anywhere near the Hokage monument.

* * *

As Naruto looked at the back of his teacher's shirt for the second time this day, he made a few calculations in his head. Going by past experience, he realized that he only had fifteen days before classes restarted. Combine that with putting a day a so between each group arriving, and the need for them to be present in Konoha at least a few days before the start of classes, it made for pretty rushed preparation.

Giving the sheet with the names to one of his transformed clones, the original Naruto instead went around and gathered a few specific clones. The one who came up with 'Ariko' was the first, along with the one who found the Urahara place and two of the clones who'd been sorting scrolls in his apartment. Added to that were two copies that had been exploring the town and the bunshin that had first succeeded at the draining technique.

He led all those in an upstairs room that had probably once been used for conferences, and sat his 'council' right there.

"So…" The original said, once all were seated. "I've just realized that we had less than two weeks to prepare for everything that's needed before the academy."

Looking around, Naruto could see each and every copy obviously counting down in their heads. He knew that they hadn't realized yet the implications that the time left meant, and that was exactly why he'd asked them here for advice.

The boy had realized somewhere in the past day that even though they were his clones and that they were speaking with his voice, that didn't mean that they were thinking the very same things. He knew that they all had the same general opinions, as the hole the clones had eaten in his flagging ramen reserves kept reminding him, but their different emphasis on specific experiences meant their thoughts were not always running down the same paths.

As Naruto saw the conclusion of the countdown in each pair of eyes, he continued. "That's why we need to plan down everything that's needed before the academy starts. We can't ask Iruka to think of everything like he did today."

The whole table nodded.

"So, anything coming to mind ?"

"Well, sending out the clones that are going to come from outside as soon as possible is a given."

"Not right now, though." Another bushin interjected. "We need first to give them the money Iruka's gonna give us tomorrow. After that, we send them all and message them by clone once they should be coming in."

"True."

"How about jobs ?"

All Narutos in the room turned towards the clone who'd given that statement.

"I mean, the two civilians will need a mother, a father or both." Nods all around. "So these two clones will either have to pretend to be rich, or have jobs. And frankly, I don't think Iruka'll give us access to an enormous amount of money. So what job should they be ?"

The original Naruto admitted that was a valid point. Even if the civilians had a lesser chance of being found out, someone would be asking questions about their parents once for sure. That means they needed a way to be making money.

The only problem with that was how. Naruto didn't know much about how civilians lived, and the few occupations he knew outside ninjas were cooks like Teuchi and Ayame, merchants or apartment managers.

Unfortunately Naruto had nothing he could think of selling, no skills outside the ninja arts, and didn't think he'd receive enough from Iruka to buy a whole apartment building.

Talking went around, but all suggestions needed either more money than they'd likely receive, or knowledge they wouldn't be able to get in the short time needed.

Eventually the only thing possible on that front became asking Iruka for ideas, and that point was tabled.

Then came the discussion on what techniques to learn, and in what order, during which the room fell in total pandemonium. Generating clones to go and get scrolls didn't help either.

* * *

Author's Notes

-Japanese Translations:

Ariko:  
Ari (蟻) - Ant  
Ko (子) - Child

Muremaru:  
Mure (群れ) - Swarm  
Maru (マル) - A common ending to a child's name (aka Shikamaru, Konohamaru)


	5. The Start of a Plan

A Drop of Poison

Chapter Four : The Start of a Plan

Disclaimer : Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. Ramen belongs to Naruto. Enough said.

* * *

Iruka was, as an academy teacher, used to rising early. He'd also had many a late night grading exams and planning them.

However, getting up the morning he was supposed to go to Shinobi Archival was the most difficult beginning of a day he'd had in a long while. Probably since he last did the chūnin exam.

He'd stayed awake late, thinking, planning and generally getting stressed. Helping Naruto with his prank had seemed the right thing the morning before, but now he was having second thoughts.

The scroll Sarutobi had given him was no help in that. In one sense, he was proud that the Hokage trusted him that much, but on the other hand he feared failure so much more because of that. Scenarios kept running into his head, various failures highlighted all through them. He knew it was only his imagination playing with him, but he couldn't help it.

However, that did not mean he wasn't present when his bank opened. He was there, trying to remove the cobwebs of sleep from his mind, requesting a meeting with the banker in charge of his funds.

He mainly did that for appearances' sake. No one would suspect a ninja going to his own banker to be carrying on official business.

Once safely alone with the man in charge of his accounts, only then did he withdraw the note the Sandaime had given him. Unrolling it in front of the man, he waited for him to be done reading.

The look on the man in front of the chūnin was priceless, and Iruka wondered if he had made the same face when he'd first seen those words.

Once the civilian was finished reading, Iruka had no difficulty asking for the balance of Konoha's accounts in the bank. The Hokage had different accounts in various banks, both as a precaution against thieves and as making it easier for various ninja to receive money from the various funds that existed. This bank was the one used for the Orphan's Fund, a precaution used by people whose parents had died in service. Iruka had long ago been one of those, and had kept the same bank upon becoming a genin.

With how vast the account was, Iruka had not trouble withdrawing 5 million ryou. In his mind, it should be more than enough to buy two houses of good quality, with enough spare to live with. He even withdrew a little more just in case, as he didn't want to have to come back for more funds.

The only delay was gathering the money, as Iruka needed it in cash. It would be suspicious for a newly arrived family to have access to an account in a bank in Konoha, so cash was the only possibility. He'd even thought in advance and brought a storage scroll for such a purpose.

After receiving the money and only a few words of warning to the bank employee about keeping silent, the chūnin was now on his way to his second target of the day, the Shinobi Archival.

Shinobi Archival was where most official and non-official ninja documents ended up. It was also the dead-end job of many genin.

Iruka had once feared he'd end up working there full time, before he managed to pass his chūnin exam. He was lucky that year that he'd managed to do a good enough showing to get in the finals, and be promoted afterwards. Else he'd probably be like the genin who welcomed him into the heavily secured building.

Despite having been to the archive many a time due to his work at the academy, he'd never managed to be comfortable inside the documentation building. He'd been at school with many of those now working here, and remembered the grand ambitions they had while they were students, ambitions many of his own pupils shared. It always gave him a shiver to think about it.

Suddenly, the chūnin teacher realized that if things continued as they were now, and Naruto kept on in the academy, this might be the place where he'd end up. This simple thought of a prankster like the boy working around that much paperwork chilled his bones like never before, and pushed him to make sure that his protégé would never end up like this.

The letter stamped by the Hokage drew no funny looks here, as such papers were possibly more common than one would expect. The chūnin further twisted the tracks leading to Naruto by asking for all old abandoned ninja properties, then selecting three at 'random'.

As Iruka left the ninja building, he realized that he felt more alive than he'd long felt. It brought him back to the missions he had before he made chūnin and became a teacher, and the risks he'd taken then. He liked being a teacher, but wondered for the first time if he'd not stopped too early in his career.

And as he waited for noon in his office at the academy, he had much time to think about that.

* * *

He was still thinking when, while waiting on Naruto in training ground 23, a little girl came to him.

"Mister, you a ninja ?"

She was very young and cute, at most six, with tressed red hair and a yellow dress.

"Yes."

"Is it true ninja don't fear nothing ?"

"Of course." Not really, actually, but Iruka wasn't going to ruin the dreams of a girl that young.

"Then you can help me find my kitty ?"

"Sure." It wasn't like Naruto could wait a few minutes. It wasn't even twelve, yet. "Where is it ?"

The child smiled shyly. "It's in there." She led him to one of those large pipes the buildings used to evacuate steam. However, that one hadn't seemed used in a while. The grate was rusted and the lock, broken.

"It chased a mousey and I don't like the dark. Can you go and get him ?"

"Sure." It was tight for a man of his age, but he could squeeze through easily enough. He hadn't made a dozen meters that he could see the two shining eyes of the cat in front of him.

"Ah, finally… Come here, kitty."

The cat, in answer, meowed and moved away.

The teacher launched himself in pursuit, which was made easier by the fact the pipe seemed to be widening.

The feline, however, gave as good as it got, and kept a few meters apart all the time.

It wasn't until Iruka saw light in the tunnel that he realized he'd been had.

Taking a deep breath, he called out. "You can come out now, Naruto. I know it's you."

"What gave it away ?" came a voice right behind him.

Managing to turn, he realized the little girl had followed him down the pipe.

"The light. That and the fact that, for however long I crawled, the tunnel never turned."

"Damn." The girl said. It was bizarre to see the natural inflections Naruto used on a girl that small, though. "I was sure you wouldn't find out until the ladder." He released his own henge with a seal.

"Good prank, however. I didn't even notice anything bizarre about the little girl. It wouldn't have worked if you weren't early, however… Where did you get the cat ?"

"See for yourself." Naruto said, pointing behind Iruka's back.

Turning around once again, the chūnin saw the cat had stopped right below one of the seal lights. Then, with a burst of smoke, another Naruto was standing there instead.

Iruka was shocked. The conventional henge would have difficulty turning anyone into a little girl, because of the difference in mass. A small genin like Naruto might have done it, though he'd need an horrible amount of skill to pull it off, something most genins would never have.

The cat however… simply impossible.

Trying to hide how much he'd been had, and how much Naruto's technique was superior to the academy-taught one, he instead asked "So, which one is the clone ?"

"Both of us." The Naruto in the light answered. "The real one's downstairs training."

"I was sent to wait on you thirty minutes ago." The clone still being a little girl added. "When I saw you were already there, I had the idea of trying to get you inside without you noticing."

"And how did you come up with that plan ?"

"When you didn't notice anything special about the black dog that came to you."

"You were…" Iruka wanted to hit his head on something. It was getting more and more difficult to pretend Naruto's henge was anything like the normal one.

"Yup. Then I created the other clone here and you know the rest."

Suddenly, Iruka realized something, something that made him afraid as he'd never been. "Did the original put you up to this ?"

"Nope, that was all me."

The academy teacher instantly feared for his sanity. He already had problems keeping up with one prankster, and now he could multiply himself ! He hadn't realized that the clones themselves could have inspirations, and act on them.

He feared for Konoha. He really did.

* * *

Following the council meeting of yesterday, since Naruto and his clones couldn't get in agreement on what to train on first, Naruto had decided to split the number of clones in seven, forming eight teams with himself alone in the last.

The original academy student had agreed that they should work on at least one jutsu of each element, with two others being added at the last minute.

The fire technique that was finally selected was one called Katon : Akiraka Jigokuhi. An Uruhara technique made in imitation of the Uchiha's ultimate fire technique, it was surprisingly not banned due to being dangerous to the user's coils. The reason noted on the scroll was that it was a technique too difficult to train in, as failures controlling said jutsu tended to kill the trainee. The fact that the Uchiha had long campaigned to get it banned probably hadn't helped.

Suiton : Toppa Nami Kyoha was decided on the water side. An original technique invented by the Nidaime, it was well known for needing to create water out of raw chakra instead of using the one already present. This fact had made every person trying it since the Second Hokage fall out of chakra exhaustion after a single use.

Fuuton : Uzusuna no Ori had the same side effect. As a wind technique originally from Sunagure, it was very powerful, but demanded so much chakra that even most jōnin couldn't use it even once.

Again, same thing for Doton : Tsuchioni no Tsuno . That earth technique was especially exhausting due to the fact that you use chakra to pressurize the rock, shaping it to be diamond-hard before making it surge through the ground at your adversary.

However, the lightning technique was simply deadly, being of Uruhara make. Raiton : Saishuu Houden transformed all your chakra in electrical current, frying you and whatever you were holding. That was going to be definitely a clone-only technique.

The two ones added were a technique banned by the Hyūgas called Chakra Shield, and one banned by the combined might of both the Uchiha and Hyūga whose name was Raiton : Mabushii Kagayaki. The first was all about creating a solid second skin made of chakra to block attacks, something that was said to interfere with the Hyūga Jyuken. That one would be especially useful if successful, as most physical attacks on clones would be deadly to them. The second, though, was simply added to the training list out of spite. It generated a blinding flash of light. What made it banned however was probably the fact that at close range, it could deal permanent damage to dojutsu users. It also gave much credence to the fact that the Uruharas, who had invented the technique, hated the Uchiha and vice-versa.

The original's work, however, was all about the Kage Bunshin. Since there was no proof that they'd master the chakra shield in time or at all, he was testing the physical limits of his clones, and trying to increase them.

His tests had already proved it possible, as one of the clones made in the forest while training on Chakra draining was already more solid than one Naruto had just made right then. However, that was all he had found by now.

When Iruka entered the Uruhara basement, flanked by two of his clones, Naruto instantly gave up his fruitless tries at improving the Kage Bunshin, and jumped up to his sensei. He was about to ask for the results of his trips, but one look at his teacher sealed his lips.

Iruka was white.

Naruto had never seen his teacher with a face so pale, even counting the time he'd pretended to have missed his target at kunai-throwing while he'd transformed into a copy of himself with said kunai stuck in the side of the head. With blood flowing down his face, of course.

"Sensei, are you okay ?"

The man gaze focused with inhuman speed on Naruto's face.

"You are the original, right ?"

"Eh…Yes."

In a flash, Iruka was holding the orange boy up, still staring right into Naruto's blue eyes while the student's feet dangled in the air.

"Promise me that you and your clones won't do more than a few pranks here and there. I like Konoha, and I want it to still be standing next year."

"Eh…Sensei ?"

"PROMISE ME."

It was Iruka's eyes that finally broke Naruto's resolve. They were full of fear, and far too similar to some of the looks civilians gave him to be comfortable. He never wanted anyone of his precious people to look at him like that.

"Ok, Ok, I promise."

The chūnin gave a sigh that was unmistakably relief, and put the academy student back down.

"I won't completely stop however. It's important for my cover."

"Cover ?"

"Take you or old man Kazuhi for example. What would you or him think if I was in class, calm and happy for a whole week."

Iruka saw the point the boy was making. "I'd think you were planning something."

"And you'd be suspicious and investigating, right ?"

"Right."

"So I HAVE to prank people, or they'll be looking at me that much more suspiciously, which doesn't help my clones at all."

"I understand. But please don't use your clones too much, or leave them to prank. I seriously fear how much damage could do with those."

"Damage ? I don't hurt anybody with my pranks."

"I'll give you an example : You remember the day you painted to Hokage monument ?"

"Of course." It was, to him, one of his best. Not so much as the planning but because of the sheer guts and reactions it showed.

"Now imagine of much more it could have been using your clones."

Naruto smiled. With that, he might even have had time to write down the dirty limericks he'd been thinking of on the third's face. Iruka had appeared much too early that day.

"Now think about that happening to your apartment."

That was unfortunately much too easy to visualize. Similar things had already happened, especially near his birthday. He'd once came back from the academy to find 'DEMON BE GONE' in large letters written everywhere over his apartment, and his few spare clothes doused in paint. Imagining that multiplied by the number of clones he could generate was just too much to think of. His apartment would even be standing anymore.

He realized right at that time how much damage he could do, and understood his teacher's fears.

"I see what you mean." He finally admitted. "I'll try to make my pranks as not damaging as possible, but remember one thing…"

"What ?"

"Any teacher who treats me unfairly is gonna get pranked back. I know why they're doing it now, and I won't stand for it."

"That's good enough for me." Iruka replied. It was especially good for him, as it just meant he wasn't going be pranked as much as the ones who really deserve it. Those he didn't think he could save anyway.

Silence reigned for a few second, while Naruto fidgeted. "So… Iruka… Everything went fine ?"

Realizing what the boy meant, the chūnin nodded and withdrew both the deeds and the storage scroll he'd gotten today, and handed them to Naruto. "Yup, everything went according to plan." He pointed down to the three deeds. These are the deeds to this place and two other places I chose."

"Why three ?" He didn't mind, but he wasn't greedy. It wasn't like he needed more than this place, anyway.

"Two reasons: One, in case you need to abandon this place for any reason, and two, to cover my tracks."

"What do you mean, cover your tracks ?"

"It's not the first time I use such a deed. Two years ago, I withdrew two for use by the academy. One house was demolished and became training ground 55, but the other is still standing and is used sometimes as stealth training course. By withdrawing more than one, I make the impression that I'll be using one of them for something, and keep the rest for later, so nobody is surprised when I don't use a specific one."

"That means you'll need one of them, right ?"

"I'll probably use one of the places you're not using in a training mission sometime next year, just to keep up appearances. You can keep the deeds, though. We only remove them to insure nobody'll use them in the meantime."

"What about this thing ?" the academy student held up the scroll.

"That's a storage scroll, Naruto. I just sealed the money I received inside."

"How does it work ?"

"Surely you remember…" Iruka started, then stopped. He knew Naruto had missed the last lesson he did on storage scrolls, as that was the day he'd been painting over a few faces, but couldn't remember if he'd been there for the lecture the year before. "What do you know about storage scrolls ?"

"Not much, actually." The boy answered, scratching the back of his head. "I keep managing to miss that one…"

"Okay…" The chūnin replied, mentally preparing himself for his usual academy lecture. "Storage scrolls are scrolls with some form of a storage seal on it." To demonstrate, Iruka took back the scroll from his student's hands, and unrolled it on the ground to show the seal written inside. "It's a tool commonly use by ninja either to carry large amounts of material, or to hide the contents of what they are carrying from normal view. This scroll actually contains a briefcase, in which the bank deposited the money I withdrew. I mainly sealed that briefcase to hide the fact that I was leaving with a large amount of money." The chūnin put both his hands on the outside contour of the seal. "To use a storage seal, one only needs to release a small amount of chakra on the outside line of the seal, like this." Releasing said energy, the briefcase his bank had given him popped back into existence. He removed it.

"The same thing allows one to put an item in the seal." To demonstrate, the teacher withdrew one of his shuriken and placed it flat on the middle of the seal, then pushed chakra as he had just done. The shuriken vanished in a puff of smoke. "There are certain things however that must never be inserted in a storage scroll. Anything that would be affected by a direct application of chakra is a bad idea. Especially bad are trying to seal in explosive tags, which explode upon coming out, and storing a storage scroll in another is well known to destroy both scrolls in a dangerous emission of chakra."

"By molding your chakra correctly and with good focus, one may even further control what goes in or out to summon or seal only certain items." Iruka realized right then that not only Naruto had paid attention to the whole lecture, something he rarely did, some of the clones that had been training around him had actually stopped and listened as well. "Any questions ?"

"One actually…" The original said. "What happens when you don't know what's inside a scroll ?"

"You can still release its content, though everything will come at once… Why ?"

"Follow me."

Iruka followed, as did about two dozen clones. Naruto led him back into the Uruhara mansion proper, and stopped after entering a room that was very obviously an armoury. The chūnin noticed a few of the weapons that had hung on the wall of his student's apartment.

The boy however led him to a corner where scrolls were stacked into surprisingly neat piles. Some were huge, even larger than the forbidden scroll had been, though most were the usual size for carrying inside a ninja vest.

"Sensei, can you identify one scroll from another ?"

"Most of them probably… Why ?"

Naruto handed him a specific scroll. "A clone opened this one, and got burst by some sort of trap inside."

Iruka recognized the scroll instantly. He'd even had to hunt for one of those more than once, before he made chūnin. "Where did you find this one ?"

"I think hidden in a training ground, why ?"

"Naruto, this is a Heaven Scroll. They're, with their Earth counterparts, mainly used during some of the chūnin exams, and are supposed to be opened only in specific locations. It's actually surprising you found one as getting those back is necessary after each exam. It's not of much use outside of the exams however."

"Ok."

"Now let's look at what you have in there." The chūnin said, taking a first scroll. "Now this…"

* * *

A good two hours later, Iruka had finished sorting through the hundred or so scrolls along with Naruto and his clones. He'd sorted them into five different piles of very different sizes.

"So, sensei, what's the verdict ?" The original asked.

Pointing at the largest pile, the chūnin answered. "These, as you've probably noticed, are various storage scrolls. Unsealing their contents should be pretty easy, although you should use clones for that. Some people are good enough to have traps included, but most you'll probably be able to reuse later."

"The large pile next to them are the useless ones." This pile was nearly as high as the first, and both the Heaven scroll Naruto had shown him originally and the two Earth ones he'd found were included. "They're either old mission scrolls, encrypted messages, or other stuff that hasn't any useful purpose. Burning them is probably the only use you'll get out of them."

Going to the third largest pile, Iruka continued. "These are blank scrolls. Ninjas competent in seals or team leaders usually carry some, so those aren't unexpected. You probably will have enough now for the following academy year." Iruka looked sharply at Naruto. "I WILL be expecting good homework from you, and from your clones also, understood ?"

Naruto gulped and nodded. He just realized that his prank meant three times as much homework. "What about the rest ?" Naruto added. There were only eight scrolls combined in those two piles, so Naruto automatically wondered what they might be.

"Those five are scrolls I have no knowledge about. They contain seals, that's for sure, though the specific kind evades me. I wouldn't do anything else than storing them in a corner for now, however."

"The three scrolls to the left are one-use summoning scrolls, though I can't identify of which animal. The two white ones are identical, so I expect they summon the same thing. The red one is completely different, so no clue about that one."

Intrigued, a clone asked. "What are summoning scrolls, sensei ? I don't remember hearing about them at all at school…"

"That's not surprising, because it's usually the genins' jōnin-senseis who teach such material. Summoning scrolls are simply scrolls with a summoning jutsu inscribed on it. A summoning technique is a skill where a ninja calls upon a creature to help in a task, be it fighting, hunting or even passing messages"

"Summoning techniques require a contract with the creatures being summoned. A person with such a contract can make scrolls like the ones you have, which anybody can use."

"And how are they used ?"

"One simply writes a line in blood along the length of the scroll. Obviously, that means your clones won't be able to summon anything with them."

"And this contract thing, how does it work ?"

"Actually, I've heard it's different for every creature, but haven't any example to offer. The Sandaime has such a contract, so asking him might be a better idea. There are unfortunately only two or three more leaf ninjas with such contracts, so finding someone else will be very difficult."

An idea popped in Naruto's head. "And those summoned creatures, can they talk ?"

"Probably depends on the summon. I've heard Sandaime-sama's summon can, so at least some have the ability… Oh, one last thing: Be careful about using them. Since summons have personalities, they might not like being summoned by you, and fight back. Be careful about using them. Any questions ?"

The academy student shook his head along with his clones.

"Okay." The chūnin smiled, content that he'd been able to have Naruto listen to the whole explication. The boy had visibly no problem listening when the subject interested him. The classroom environment probably didn't help his studies.

"Now…" Iruka continued. "Money." He brought the briefcase he'd dragged along forward and opened it.

Now Naruto had frequently been poor during his short life. The weekly allowance the Hokage had insured he received was, he supposed, enough for a boy like him, but the inflated prices he now realized he'd been paying all his life had sometimes brought his budget into deficit. It was only the lucky find of a cornerstore on the opposite side of the city, one that sold ramen at a cheap price, that he'd actually managed to get by. His recent funds were now very short, as more clones meant more ramen consumed.

But when Iruka opened that briefcase, he thought that he'd never find himself poor ever in his life. He could only see the top bill of the bundles, but a single one of those bills meant ramen for a week, at the very least. "That's all for me ?" He was actually shaking.

"Yes. That should actually be enough for two houses, with some to spare. Now I want you to be careful with that money, as I expect it is enough until you've made genin. I don't want to have to go get any more, understood ?"

Naruto nodded fervently.

"You swear you won't use this for pranks outside your multiple clones ? Only for houses, food and equipment ?"

"I swear ! I swear !"

"Okay then." Iruka closed the briefcase and handed it solemnly to Naruto. "I'm trusting you with this."

His student slowly drew the briefcase to himself, his eyes full of tears. Iruka suddenly realized this was the most trust anyone had ever showed him.

He mussed the boy's hair. "Don't worry, you'll do fine. Now I'm sure you have plenty to do, and I'm late myself on my academy preparations, so I'll leave you to your planning."

"Need help getting back ?" Naruto asked.

"No I…" Actually, he wasn't sure he'd be able to get back on his own. He remembered the path he took, but there had been some turns in the dark. "Yes, That would be very helpful."

"Ok." The boy replied, switching into 'boss mode' instantly. "You." He said, pointing the closest clone to Iruka. "You know the path ?"

"Sure."

"Then you take care of it. Pass the message of a council meeting while you're downstairs, okay ?"

"Will do."

"The rest of you, unless you're a council member, get busy unsealing the scrolls from the storage pile."

"Yosh !"

As Iruka left the room, following the specified clone, Iruka smiled. The whole prank was also good leadership training, and it did the chūnin good to see how Naruto might be once he's made Hokage. With this many people behind him, it was only a matter of time.

* * *

After a short council meeting where they'd separated the money into thirds and gave two of those to the respective clones (One to the family, one to the female ninja and her father), the council had separated back into the various groups they'd used for training.

The original, however, had another plan than going back to the Kage Bunshin.

He had the idea while listening to Iruka's explanations on summoning. Instead of going to someone who probably wasn't going to answer (or answer cryptically, like the old man), he'd simply ask the summon itself. If they could talk, they'd be able to answer, and with a contract, he'd be that much closer to be Hokage, since the current one had one.

He knew that Iruka had told him to be careful, but he was in his underground base, surrounded by hundreds of his clones. He didn't think there was any danger.

After a detour to gather said scrolls, Naruto was back to the same spot he'd been training when Iruka arrived. There the clones had given him a wide berth, so anything summoned wouldn't squash any of his bunshin.

Looking at the scrolls, he realized he had two choices. Supposing that the two white scrolls were the same, he could either use a white one or the red one.

Thinking for a few seconds and finding no reason to favour any one, he dug into his Gama-chan wallet and flipped the first coin he found.

Red it was.

Unfurling the scroll and slicing open his thumb on a kunai, he drew in one straight move a line down the length of the scroll.

Instantly the scroll burned down, and an explosion of smoke similar but dozens of times bigger than the one from his clones covered the area in front of him.

It diffused quickly, showing what the scroll had been about.

A crab.

And not any crab. A gray-black crab twice as high as Naruto, and at least five times larger.

'Cool' He thought. 'Now that's…'

And then in a single burst of speed, said cool crab dashed right in front of Naruto and, with a baseball-worthy swing, batted the original a good two hundred meters afield.

Luckily for Naruto his clones had been paying attention, and a quatuor of those managed to stop him before he impacted on the wall. Three of those burst from the effort, though.

The rest charged the summon in waves, but had very little effect. The crab's armoured exterior deflected shuriken and kunai with no damage, and physical attacks meant getting in range of those pincers. It was fast also, and could turn quickly.

Still wheezing from the blow, the original jumped on top of a rocky outcropping to judge how the battle was going. The clones had cleared a good radius around the creature, though its speed meant it was still able to get some by charging. Brushing away the various memories from dying clones, he focused on trying to figure out a way to beat the thing. Outside of trying to fool the crab into smashing itself into a wall, he had no clue how to go.

Then, from a sudden memory of one of his clones, he knew what to do. And so did the other clones.

From a hundred voices at voices came a sound that filled the area.

"RAITON: MABUSHII KAGAYAKI !"

Even though he'd closed his eyes, the combined flashes nearly blinded him anyway. The crab, however, was in much worse shape.

It was moving around erratically, swinging around and trying to catch one of the many clones with his pincers. The radius they'd cleared meant he failed to touch a single one of them.

In a sudden flash of inspiration, the original yelled. "Drain him !"

If it appeared like a clone, maybe it vanished like a clone did when his chakra was expended ?

The clones surrounding him started to tag him with draining hands as soon as they had an opening, and from the way the creature's movement slowed it seemed to have some effect. The crab finally disappeared in a puff of smoke, again, much like a clone.

All clones took a breather while the original came down from his post.

From what he'd seen, he'd lost at least twenty percent of his bunshins. It made him angry, though he thought having a summon was much more valuable now. It was like a clone except much more solid, and much stronger.

Once he was down, a clone intercepted him.

"You thinking of trying the other one ?"

He actually wasn't sure anymore. He'd need to try it someday, but wasn't sure if now was the right idea. "What do you think ?"

"I think now's better than later." Another clone interjected. "Right now we're ready, and we have a way of taking care of it if it's violent. Just keep a few clones with you ready to blind him if necessary, and everything should go fine."

Naruto nodded and withdrew the scroll.

This time as he was bloodying it all were looking, ready and prepared to jump into action, only for those preparations to be useless.

When the smoke dispersed, a rabbit stood there.

It wasn't even bigger than usual, either. It was a simple black rabbit. The only thing bizarre was it had something tied to his back.

"Damn, it's been ages since I was on this side !"

Oh, and it talked, too.

The various clones dispersed and went back to their training, pretty sure the original could handle a foot-tall rabbit by himself.

Said person approached the summon. "A summoned rabbit ?"

"What, you got something against rabbits ?"

"I just don't see what use a rabbit summon could have for a ninja."

"You blind ? Rabbits make great ninjas ! Silent, stealthy, cunning… What else could a ninja need ?"

"I don't know… Power ?"

"Power is well and good, but all the power in the world won't beat an enemy you can't see. A good ninja doesn't always have to beat his enemies to succeed. A silent shadow has much more chance at gathering information, delivering documents, and infiltrating enemy camps than a man in shining armour. And no person can plan well for the bodyguard he doesn't know about."

Naruto had to admit the rabbit had a point.

"You a ninja ?" The rabbit asked.

Naruto nodded. He knew he hadn't passed the academy yet, but it was only a matter of time.

"Yesh, you must suck."

"What ?"

"In what type of environment is your orange suit good for hiding ?"

Naruto tried answering, he really did. Nothing came to mind though.

"Thought as much. Now, who the hell are you ?"

"Naruto Uzumaki."

"Never heard of ya. You related to the Kamisugi Clan ?"

"Not that I know of."

"Then how did you summon me ?"

Naruto withdrew the other white scroll from his back.

"Some of those still exist ? We were pretty sure they were all destroyed."

"We ?"

"It's been quite a while since any of us rabbits have been summoned. You know if anything happened to the Kamisugi Clan ?"

"Never heard of them. What country are they from ?"

"Grass."

"I'm a leaf ninja, so I have no clue. They might've died out."

"And where did you find those scrolls ?"

"In the forest around Konoha."

"Damn." The rabbit, now standing of two feet, stamped his left in frustration. "Okay, so why did you summon me ?"

"I actually had a few questions."

"Shoot."

"How does one get a summoning contract ?"

"Why, you want to summon rabbits ?"

"You did a good job convincing me that rabbits made good ninjas, so I don't see why not."

The rabbit puffed in obvious pride. "You just have to sign a specific scroll that we rabbits have in our lands."

"Can you bring it with you ?"

"Nope."

He handed the rabbit the second white scroll. "Can this scroll bring someone who can ?"

The rabbit looked at the scroll for a few seconds, and then shook his head negatively. "Nope, this one summons me too." He pointed a specific set of characters on the scroll. "See here ? That's me, Ichibō."

"Then, Ichibō, how am I supposed to sign it ?"

"Only one way: go to Grass."

"Eh ?"

"There's a place in Grass where we can appear without being summoned. Go in the forest north of Hakuto-Chō and summon me there. I'll lead you to it."

"Okay."

"Good, Naruto Uzumaki. I'll see you there." The rabbit vanished in a puff of smoke.

Naruto wasted no time in summoning a dozen clones. He knew he'd need to summon a lot more soon, to replace those who had fallen to the crab, but those would wait until he'd started training in the Kage Bunshin a little more.

Looking at the new dozen, he ordered. "You know what to do… Get to grass as soon as possible. Message me once you get there, and once more with the results of the meeting there. Oh, and try not to draw to much suspicion while getting there, okay ?"

"Okay."

"One thing." A clone training not far interjected. "How are they going to summon that rabbit once there ?"

"Using the scroll, of course !"

"And how does that work ?"

"Well, you make a line in…" Naruto stopped, thinking for a few moments. "I see what you mean." Naruto finally admitted.

"I think I have a solution." Another clone admitted. Naruto turned towards him and realized most of the bunshins in a radius around him had given up training, and were watching the unfolding conversation.

Said clone dashed out of the basement of their new place, and came back a few minutes later with a specific sealing scroll. He unsealed its contents at Naruto's feet. Dozens of vials, pills and bandages unfolded, including more than a few empty vials. The false Naruto took some in his hands.

"Just fill these with blood, and then reseal them. The clones'll simply need to use those to activate the scroll."

Naruto nodded, then took a kunai and opened a blood vessel. It took more than a few tries to succeed in filling all the vials, as the wounds kept closing before finishing up. Naruto then handed back the full vials to the clone who'd handed them.

"Here. You go with them, since you seem to know what to do."

"Sure." The bunshin sealed the items back, then rose and gathered the dozen copies Naruto had summoned.

The grass group was out the next minute and Naruto was back to his training. He wanted to have a little improvement in the clones' toughness before summoning another large batch.

* * *

Author's Notes

-Japanese Translations:

Akiraka Jigokuhi  
Akiraka(明らか) - Obvious  
Jigoku (地獄) - Hell  
hi(火) - Fire

Mabushii Kagayaki  
Mabushii(眩しい) -Blinding  
Kagayaki(輝き) - Radiance

Saishū Houden  
Saishū(最終) - Final  
Houden(放電) - Electrical Discharge

Toppa Nami Kyoha  
Toppa(突破) - Breaking Through  
Nami(波) - Wave  
Kyoha(巨波) - Surge

Tsuchioni no Tsuno  
Tsuchi(つち) - Earth  
Oni(鬼) - Demon  
Tsuno(角) - Horn

Sunauzu no Ori  
Suna(砂) - Sand  
Uzu(渦) - Swirl  
Ori(おり) - Cage

Kamisugi  
Kami (紙) - Paper  
Sugi(杉) - Cedar

Ichibō  
Ichi (一) - One  
Bō(棒) - Staff

Hakuto-Chō  
Hakuto(白桃) - White Peach  
Chō(町) – Town


	6. First into the Breach

A Drop of Poison

Chapter Five : First into the Breach

Disclaimer : Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. Ramen belongs to Naruto. Enough said.

* * *

Ariko and her 'father', a clone they'd named Ichiro for the duration, were waiting in a restaurant in the civilian town closest to the eastern road leading to leaf village. They'd arrived late yesterday, and decided that it would be less suspicious for a rich merchant to stay at a roadside inn than to arrive during late evening. They were now waiting on a ninja to escort them to Konoha.

Both their henges included high class clothes like those Naruto had already seen on rich merchants. Ariko was dressed in dark red, while her father wore a red a little brighter, but this one with a silver trim. Both shop and inn keepers had been on their best behaviours, something which Ariko deduced was due to the fact they seemed rich and the merchant were greedy.

While an escort wasn't always necessary to get to Konoha, most people got guards to insure they got there safely. Konoha provided so at the price of a D-ranked mission.

It was sometime after the eleventh hour when the leaf ninja they'd been waiting on appeared. Both Ariko and Ichiro had to hold back their reaction upon seeing who it was. They didn't expect this person to ever be put on a mission like this one.

Uchiha Sasuke did a very small bow in front of the two civilians he was to escort. "I understand you seek to visit Konoha."

Ichiro broke out of his reverie and rose, bowing in turn to the ninja. "Indeed we do, ninja-san. My daughter Ariko wishes to be trained in the same arts that you practice."

Sasuke turned and fixed the female civilian with a stare.

Ariko's eyes locked with Sasuke's for a second, before she turned away, hiding her eyes. There had been rumours in the academy that his eyes could do a lot of things, from copying techniques to firing lasers, and she didn't want to test if they could see through henge, or see that they were clones.

At that reaction the Uchiha sighed. Another one of those insipid girls who'd keep bothering him about dates and such stuff. Konoha would be better without most of them, in his opinion.

However, the mission was the mission, so he'd be bringing her to Konoha nonetheless. "Follow me."

The Uchiha turned and walked away, prompting the other two to follow.

While Ichiro managed his role to perfection, Ariko couldn't help but sneak glances at the ninja who was still his rival. His I'm-cooler-than-everybody posture hadn't changed, and neither had his walk. Both were specific enough that Naruto could remember them out of all of those of students who'd passed the academy.

On the other hand, the Uchiha orphan felt and hated the fact that said girl was eyeing him. He only wanted to grow stronger, damnit, not draw in more girls. He was getting a headache at the simple thought of the size of his so called 'fan club'.

Luckily, the way was short, and before long they were passed the gates of Konoha.

Ichiro, still well in his role, came again to the front. "Would you be so kind, ninja-san, as to direct us ? It might not be the first time I come to this village, but no other child of mine has enrolled in your academy."

Sasuke, glad for something else to think than his fan club, waited no time before answering. "Follow this road. In about a kilometre, on the left, you'll find a large building in white. Enter there and find a teacher, he'll be more than able to help you along."

"Thank you, ninja-san." He bowed, and Ariko followed. "Here." He handed the genin a small bill. "Go buy yourself a treat with this."

Sasuke bowed in thanks, and turned back the way he came. He had no interest in staying with what was visibly a fangirl.

As soon as the boy had turned her back to her, Ariko released the glare she'd been holding back the whole way. She couldn't wait to show the bastard one. And kick his ass as he so righteously deserved, too.

When a cold shiver, stronger than any before, rose in his spine, Uchiha Sasuke silently vowed never to meet that girl ever again. He didn't ever want to know what perverse thoughts had prompted the bad feeling he just had.

* * *

A knock on his door interrupted Iruka during his lesson planning.

"Come in."

A man in his middle years came in, followed by someone who was obviously his daughter. The teacher however recognized the form of the girl as the one from Naruto's prank and smiled. They'd at least made it up to here.

"Good day, Teacher. I've been sent here by a young ninja you told me this would be the place to come to for training in the arts of the shinobi. My daughter, Ariko, is wanting to join your institution."

"Good day, sensei." The daughter said, bowing.

"Come in, come in." The chūnin answered, closing the door.

He had to agree that if he hadn't known in advance about the prank, he'd never have believed that both of these people were Naruto. Different inflections, stances, personalities… All in all, very good acting.

Once Iruka was back in his chair and he'd given a good look around, he relaxed and spoke. "We're alone; you can stop pretending, for now."

In that instant the two people in front of the teacher relaxed. Their body language changed instantly, closer to what the chūnin was used from this student.

"How's the prank going, Ariko ?"

"Everything's according to plan, though we had a close one."

"What ?"

"The ninja who escorted us to town…" Ichiro continued. "Was Sasuke."

Iruka agreed that they could very much count it like that. "And he didn't notice anything ?"

"No."

The chūnin smiled. "Good, good…"

"How's that good ?" Ariko asked.

Iruka took a deep breath. "Now, Naruto, I know you don't like him, but thinking in terms of members of your last class, Uchiha Sasuke is the one who had the largest and best chance of seeing through your disguises. He's also very adept at body reading, and has been close to you quite recently. If Sasuke didn't notice anything, then I'm pretty sure your disguises will hold in front of the other returning students."

Both transformed clones nodded in agreement with that reasoning.

"Now, both of you know what's next ?"

Both shook their heads negatively at the question.

"Okay. Right now I'll have to test you, Ariko, for competency. During that time your father might stay, or simply might go out to do more things. Personally, I'd recommend going out and buying the place she'll use. We have a good three hours of tests to go anyway, so you might as well go on and continue with your plans."

"Right." Ichiro said.

Ariko, though, hung her head down and sighed. More tests, again.

As Ichiro left the room, Ariko turned to her teacher. "What tests are those gonna be ?"

"A one hour physical evaluation, followed by a two hours written exam."

Ariko couldn't help but sigh once more.

* * *

Ichiro wasted no time in leaving the school and started walking around 'aimlessly' around Konoha.

Of course, that was only an image. In reality, the Naruto clone was steadily walking towards the closest of the houses the Naruto group had hoped to use for the disguised clones.

There were six of them all around Konoha, spread randomly around the town. The supposition was that these buildings were either old living places of former Uraharas, or the homes of some of their more important contacts. Two of those buildings were shops, along with three houses and some kind of storage depot, but they all had one thing in common : the Urahara tunnels crisscrossing under the city had an exit in each of those places. Amongst them only two were currently occupied, the storage depot and one of the houses, and Ichiro was hoping he'd manage to buy out one of the empty houses for his 'daughter'.

Still acting as he should under his 'mask', it took him a good hour, going from person to person, to find the real estate agent responsible for the first of the two available houses. The man was at first surprised that such an old propriety would interest a wealthy merchant, but quickly got the relevant papers signed once he'd realized said merchant had other choices, belonging to other real estate agents.

The Naruto clone going under the name Ichiro left under a mask that such a transaction was normal, but was grinning inside. He still had nearly three quarters of the money left out of his third, and had achieved the objective he'd had without any issue. The real estate agent, on his side, was happy to finally have sold such an unwanted location.

* * *

"Okay, stop !" Iruka shouted, clicking on a button on the side of his stopwatch.

Ariko, who'd been doing pushups, sit ups and various other forms of exercise for the last fifteen minutes, pushed herself back up. She dusted herself pretty thoroughly, before coming to stand in front of the teacher. "So, how are my results, sensei ?"

The differences between what Naruto would have done, and what she did, were evident to the chūnin. Where Naruto would have done something like a flip, and wouldn't have cared about the dust, she did the very opposite. He'd have to ask later, when they were alone.

Instead, Iruka answered. "Very good, actually. Your throwing is good, as is your speed. Your endurance is enormous for a woman. Your Taijutsu is below average, though that to be expected from someone without much training. Physically, I see no reason not to include you in our next class." Actually, compared to Tenten, who was the last girl to come from outside, Ariko topped her everywhere except her throwing. With the class for now not being as full as the previous one, she was pretty much insured a place as long as she didn't completely flunk in the written test.

"Good." She replied, smiling serenely.

"Now follow me, I have a classroom already prepared for your next test…"

* * *

"So, How's it going ?" asked the real Naruto, coming out of the tunnel hidden behind a false wall.

Ichiro had returned to the place he'd now mentally dubbed as 'Ariko's home' and sent a clone down the underground passages to get Naruto to come, which hadn't taken much time.

"Everything's according to plan up to date… what about one your side ?"

"Found out how to increase the toughness of clones actually, though it won't help."

"Why ?"

"I found out that how much chakra a clone spends simply by existing is dependent on how tough it is, meaning the tougher they are, the less long they'll last. I actually made one who was nearly as tough as me, and could survive stab wounds like I do, and it barely lasted three minutes, and that while not using any techniques. The best compromise I found out was actually similar to the clones I made during the chakra draining training… Any tougher and the clones have to spend too much time draining things."

"So that idea is a bust for training at the academy ?" Ichiro asked.

"Unfortunately."

"Any idea on how we're going to do ?"

"Well the council decided to put everyone on training to succeed at the chakra shield before school starts. Apart from that not much."

"No progress on the other techniques ?"

"Nope. I'm starting to think I might have made an error in mastering draining first."

Ichiro was shocked. "Why ?"

"Cause the clones don't train as hard as they did before. Before, they trained relentlessly 'til they dispersed themselves. Now, since they know they can live eternally due to the chakra draining, they take less risk as to stay alive longer… You remember how I trained to master the Kage Bunshin ?"

"Of course !"

"With what happened while I was training, how many times would I have burst myself if I was a clone ? And how many times has such a thing happened since I mastered to draining technique ?"

Ichiro thought a few moments while the original waited for an answer. He had to agree that he didn't remember any clone having burst from overtraining since they'd mastered draining. Lack of chakra, yes, but none from damages due to errors in training. Which with the fact that they'd have gotten the memories of such copies meant that it had happened very infrequently at best. "I see your point."

"I don't think it's something conscious, just some basic survival instinct that clones now have because they can last longer. Unfortunately that means there isn't much I can do about it."

"I'll think about that." Ichiro said, turning around.

"You going back to get Ariko ?"

"Yeah, she should be done by now."

"Anything special I should know ?"

"Outside the fact that Iruka is now pretty sure that any returning student won't see through our disguises, nothing really."

"Why that now ?"

"I'll explain later. We just met someone we didn't expect while coming to Konoha."

"Ok. See you later." Naruto exclaimed, plunging back into the tunnels.

* * *

With only seventeen minutes to go to the test, Ichiro entered the classroom that Ariko and Iruka were using as an exam center.

The chūnin instantly shushed the so-called father, beckoning him closer with a finger and explaining him what was currently happening in whispers. The man took to silence well, taking a chair and waiting so patiently that Iruka for a moment forgot that this was actually Naruto.

It took very little time for the chūnin teacher to grade the exam once Ariko was done. She'd done a good showing, actually better than Iruka had expected considering his latest scores.

"Well, now it's official…" the teacher said, having just calculated her average score. It was more than enough to be accepted at the academy. "I will be seeing you next Monday for your first class. This…" Iruka handed her a folder from the top of his desk. "Is the equipment you'll need starting next week. Congratulation on your acceptance, student."

Ariko did a squeal that made even Iruka doubt it was Naruto inside all that, and jumped in the arms of her father in gratitude. The man shook Iruka's hand, thanking him for his help, and after filling out the various forms necessary, led his 'daughter' out to celebrate.

Now Iruka had already done infiltration missions before becoming a teacher, and couldn't believe the level of talent Naruto was demonstrating. He'd even worked with some considered to be naturals in that field, and never had they been able to make him doubt what he knew for sure as much as the show the two of them had done right now.

Gathering the papers the two clones had just signed, the chūnin was surprised the find amongst them a small note that he hadn't even realized had been slipped there.

It simply said : 'Basement at 5'.

* * *

Again using the Urahara Tunnels exit closest to the academy, Iruka managed to arrive in Naruto's new basement a few minutes before five. Once there, he was lead to a conference room where nine Narutos and Ariko (Or a clone under an Ariko henge, possibly) were laughing and discussing the day, from the sound of it. Every conversation, though, died once he took a chair.

"So, everything's still fine ?" A Naruto asked.

"You're the original, right ?" Iruka guessed.

"Yeah… how did you know ?"

"Your clones tend to defer to you in most conversations, leaving you to talk unless they have specific points to add. I simply guessed the first one to speak would be the real you." He opened a folder he brought with him. "Yes, everything is still going according to your prank. And unless Konoha receives a dozen more applications more valuable than yours, Ariko is going to stay as an academy student."

"What do you mean, more valuable ?" The Ariko clone interjected.

"Konoha rates the value of each applicant to the academy on several criteria grouped mainly into two categories, those being status and potential. Status is all about where you come from… The best for Konoha being in order children from leaf ninja clans, children of leaf ninjas, children of long-time Konoha civilians, children of Konoha civilians, orphans and children of non-leaf ninjas."

"Why that order ? And why the clans first ?"

"Mainly a loyalty issue. Academy teachers are supposed to check for infiltrators amongst the children, though those specific cases are rare. The order is based on who is probably more loyal to Konoha."

"So, technically…" The original Naruto said. "I fit at the bottom of the chart, just before children of outside ninja, right ?"

"Actually, I don't know." The chūnin answered. "The specifics of your birth family are sealed, as is most information about your youth. You could actually come from any of those categories and I wouldn't know, though in your case in really makes no difference."

"Why ?"

"Sometimes academy students have sponsors, usually being the chūnin or jōnin who had found the boy. The Hokage being yours, your place was never in question."

"I'm pretty sure some did anyway." Naruto muttered darkly.

"I won't deny the possibility. Now potential is based on the evaluation Ariko and I made today. Konoha is sure to look out for people with the potential to become great ninjas, so the specific potential of each applicant also influences if he or she gets a place."

"Ok… So you don't expect the academy is going to get enough new students to displace Ariko's application ?"

"Nope. At best during that time the academy will usually receive six or so applications, and that's counting the clone you're going to send… Muremaru, right ?"

"Right."

"So I'm nearly one hundred percent sure both your bunshins will be accepted."

"Good." Naruto exclaimed, falling into 'Boss Mode'. "Now unto other business : The next entrants."

"The civilian family." Iruka said.

"Exactly. We were having a problem with them." Naruto added, looking straight at Iruka.

"Which one ?"

"Jobs. The two civilians will need parents to evade suspicion, and those parents will need jobs to do the same. So they'll need a job that we Narutos can do reasonably well. Unfortunately all jobs I know are either directly linked to ninjutsu, which would draw attention by itself, or something I can't do well enough, like cooking. And building a property with apartments is probably way more costly than the budget I have."

"Very much so."

"Then, what job would be best for the two parents of my civilian identities ?"

Iruka reflected for a few moments while the council waited for his answers. Normally civilians coming to Konoha were either merchants or artisans, and both had difficulties associated with them. Trade skills like blacksmithing or carpentry took time to learn to do well enough, so didn't fit with Naruto's time constraints. Outside of ninja equipment, which would be suspicious in the hands of a civilian family, Naruto had no goods to sell, which eliminated most merchants. Iruka started going backwards in time, thinking of the various people he met and their jobs.

"How about traders ?" Iruka inquired after a few minutes.

"Traders ?" The mass of clone replied.

Iruka sighed at how little his protégé had been educated. "Traders are a type of merchant who specialize in selling merchandise from other regions."

"What's the use ?"

"Not everything is as easy to get outside as it is in Konoha. For example, what do you know about Suna."

"Only that they have ninjas and that it's a desert ?"

Iruka sighed at the reminder of his protégé's lack of knowledge. "So what do they do about wood ? Or cloth ?"

"I have no clue."

"They have to import it. And lots of the people doing so are regular civilians, making profit by buying merchandise where it isn't costly, like anything related to wood in Konoha, transporting them somewhere where it's rare and in demand, and selling it for a profit."

"It's perfect for your needs since it would logically take some time before you had stock, so nobody would be surprised if the shop you use isn't open for a while. It would also explain why one or both of the clones passing as the parents were missing, since traders are often away for business."

"But I'd need merchandise someday ! How will I get it ?"

"You just send clones out. You compare how much it would cost in Konoha and how much it costs wherever you are. If the difference is large enough, buy some as a test and see if you can sell them easily enough. Then buy more if there's demand."

"So you're telling me to have more clones running around ?"

"Yes." The chūnin replied. "But not in Konoha. In the village, the two clones you have looking around will be more than enough. Just send a few outside the village to check out factories and craftsmen, especially in other countries, as those have the most chance of being costly in Konoha."

Thinking for a second, Naruto remembered he already had a team of clones on its way to Grass, along with the solitary clone and the family of clones waiting for orders to come to Konoha. He'd message them with a clone as soon as this meeting was done.

"A good thing about that is that it could become your information network as you rise in ranks."

"Information network ?"

"Spies." answered the academy teacher. "Amongst the higher ranks, many ninja have numbers of contacts that forward information in exchange for, usually, money or favors. This allows the ninja to have a good idea of what is going on outside Konoha most of the time, and helps when said person has missions in regions where he already has informants. It's especially useful for infiltration missions, as up to date information about the city or countries can make creating false backgrounds safer, and avoid other potentially dangerous situations."

"So, in short, you're saying that I should have a few more clones running around outside Konoha, checking for things to buy and sell at profit, correct ?"

"Correct."

"I suppose…" The Ariko clone interjected. "That the two clones inside Konoha that aren't studying would be the ones checking out prices inside the city ?"

"Either those or the parents themselves." Iruka answered. "The parents would actually be better, as they could answer questions and pass scrutiny much more easily. They might even find a few people who want specific merchandise, and are ready to pay for it."

"Ok…" The original said. "So the Konoha clones start looking for prices as soon as tomorrow, and will be joined by the two parents once they're installed. The clones outside will use Kage Bunshin to generate some copies to look around other cities. Anything else ?"

All the clones shook their heads negatively, and Iruka abstained from adding anything.

"Then let's all go back to the shield training, people !"

"Yosh !"

The various council members left while Iruka held the original back. He'd wanted to ask a few questions, and felt better at being one on one for once with his student. It happened so few times lately.

"So, what did you want to talk to me about ?" Naruto asked.

"You know what happened today with Ariko ?"

"I even remember it."

"Good." The chūnin exclaimed. "Then can you explain me where you got the training you have in infiltration ?"

"What do you mean ?"

"You remember what you did after the physical test ?"

"What exactly ?"

"I mean, dusting yourself, the way you rose…"

"Sure."

"Where did you get those ?"

"Sakura."

"Sakura ?"

"That's what she did each time after taijutsu practice."

"And the hug and squeal after the written test ?"

"Fai. That's what she did when her father came to get her after the final academy exam."

"Fai ?"

"Asakura Fai." He did a quick henge, turning into a girl a little taller than himself. "She was there the year before you came to the academy. She and I had a prank war for month or so. She had a scary laugh that sent chills to most people. She passed the academy, but I haven't seen her since."

"And you remember her ?"

"Sure."

Iruka tought for an instant. "Can I test you on something ?"

"Sure."

Taking a sheet of paper and a pen from the former place of a clone, he handed them to Naruto. "Can you write down everyone you remember from the academy ?"

"Which year ?"

"All of them. Sort them by year if you can."

"Ok." And he started writing.

Looking over his student's shoulder, the chūnin watched with slowly growing awe the paper Naruto was filling. As a teacher, Iruka had been on a first name basis with the sixty or so students he'd taught during the past two year, but without the list growing in front of him he'd not have been able to name them all one after the other like Naruto was currently doing. And that's not counting that he'd been closer to them than Naruto had ever been.

And the orange-haired boy was even able to go back three years and name students he'd never had.

It was of course not perfect. Iruka could see a few errors in the names themselves, but a memory like that was more than he'd ever expected out of Naruto.

"Done. I'm missing a few names, but that's about it."

"Could you write down their descriptions ?"

"Sure." And he did.

"What about before that ?"

Naruto made a face of disgust. "You mean the orphanage ?"

Iruka didn't pay it attention. "Yes. Could you write down their names too ?"

His student's face didn't change, remaining scrunched, but he wrote down name after name after name.

The academy teacher was now beyond awe. No wonder the boy was so good with his fake personas. He had a veritable database of other students in his memory that he could use to build his false identities.

The chūnin wondered what made this information stick while the classes didn't. Lack of practical application ? The sabotaging of the teachers ? He knew he'd worked at least at five different occasions with Naruto on his basic bunshin, but the boy hadn't improved. He was pretty sure he had the right information for that one, with the many times he'd forced the boy to repeat it to him.

"Done."

Iruka came out of his thoughts to see that Naruto had finished filling the sheet with the information he asked, with hundred of first names written down in three columns.

"No last names ?"

"They didn't use them over there." The way he said 'there' explained clearly what he thought of the place. The chūnin was suddenly ashamed of having had to bring back these memories to his favorite student.

"You have an exceptional memory for people." The teacher said, as an explanation.

The boy blushed at the praise.

Smiling at the reaction, the chūnin rose. "Keep up working at your prank like that, and I'm pretty sure I'll be seeing you graduate this year… Now, can you lead me back home ?"

Naruto rose. "Sure."

The two friends left the room while Iruka was mussing his favorite's hair.

* * *

Merry Christmas / Hannukah Tov to all ! This was my present to all of you.


	7. Spreading Thick

A Drop of Poison

Chapter Six : Spreading Thick

Disclaimer : Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. Ramen belongs to Naruto. Enough said.

* * *

Naruto's message to spread as a combined information/trading network had reached the dozen of bunshins with the remaining summoning scroll right as they were leaving Hakuto-Chō. The group had made very good time mainly because of a fortunate discovery: They had an easier time with kawamiri if they warped long distances.

They'd tested while moving out of Konoha. A simple kawamiri meant to move you five meters ahead failed ninety percent of the time, while one going for a distance of twenty or so meters actually succeeded half the time. At a hundred, they'd only failed once out of fifty or so tries, and farther from that was even better. They could easily manage five hundred meters or more, with the record being a jump of somewhere around four kilometres !

This led to a very bizarre game of tag between clones that went from the leaf village to the border of Fire Country, all in a single night !

The group had rested and refilled its reserves once in Grass Country, and had managed to find the required village well before sundown.

Upon receiving Naruto's orders each of the copies had made another, and all the newly-created ones spread out to gather information around in nearby cities. The others made a final few kawamiris and reached the first trees of the forest.

Unsealing all the necessary equipment, the lead clone worked the blood vials to trace a line down the summoning scroll. It took more than two complete containers before the scroll consumed itself, and before long Ichibō was back before the group.

"That was faster than I thought." was the first words that came out of his mouth as he appeared. "Leaf village was a week away from Grass, last I remembered."

"We found a good trick for covering long distances."

"I can see that… Is the original one of you ?"

"Nope."

"Damn…" Ichibō patted the ground twice with his back paw in frustration. "In that case, follow me."

The dozen copies did so. The wood wasn't that large but was incredibly dense, and the path the rabbit took was more fitting of a labyrinth than a forest. It took an hour before the group reached a large clearing, in whose middle grew a tall tree amongst rocks.

"Wait a tick, ok ?" That said, Ichibō dashed towards the tree in a few bounds and disappeared between the rocks.

It wasn't long before he was back, holding a scroll as tall as he was. He left it a meter or so before the group of now sitting Narutos and used it as a podium.

"Before I give you this scroll, I have a question to ask."

"Go on." The lead ninja answered.

"Why do you want to be a ninja ?" the rabbit asked.

"To be Hokage, of course." The whole set of orange ninjas nodded along.

"Hokage, that's the leader of your village, right ?" The Narutos nodded. "Why do you want that ?"

The group leader paused a moment before answering. "The people in my village, they hate and fear us. Not because of anything we did, but because of something that happened when the original was born. We don't want it to be like that. Then we saw the old man… I mean, the current Hokage. He's respected, he's loved, and for good reason too."

"We wanna be like that. We wanna protect my precious people and have them see me as an equal, not as something that should be eliminated or tortured. And Konoha is a precious thing to me…"

"Does that make sense ?"

"It does to me." The black rabbit answered. He'd though the blond was like most people, thinking ninjas were cool because they were strong. That or his family pushing him in that direction. Ichibō was glad to see that the boy was there of his own decision, having a good idea what the job entailed.

"Here." Ichibō handed the lead Naruto the scroll. "You deserve it."

"Thanks… This will allow me to summon all of you ?"

"No. This will summon my boss, the leader of all rabbits. He wants you to summon him in your burrow, and to meet you in person."

"My burrow ?"

"Your home. The place you summoned me first. Have the real one summon him like you did for me."

"'K. Thanks a lot." The lead clone put the scroll down in one of his pockets then turned towards the rest of the group. "Ok people, let's see if we can beat our previous speed and be back in Konoha before tomorrow night."

"YOSH !" A second later, all the Narutos were gone.

Ichibō, however, turn to face the tree in the center of the clearing. "So, what do you think ?"

Dispelling the genjutsu that had hidden him, the lead figure answered. "He is different, I will give you that."

"He is untrained in the dance of battle, but has great spirit." Another added.

The third figure said nothing.

"He smells of fox, though." The leading one said. "He already has a contract ?"

"Not that I know of." Ichibō answered. "He didn't seem to know much about summoning at all." The rabbit waited a moment. "So, your feelings ?"

"We will see." The leading figure smiled.

* * *

After coming back from escorting his teaching friend home and messaging his far off clones, Naruto paused to look at the mass of clones training in his underground base. All of them were now training on the chakra shield technique, hoping to have it down before the week ended and classes restarted.

None of the Narutos had even gotten close yet.

Jumping between two rock pillars, the original shinobi came to rest atop one. He'd been using this particular spot as a training area for the last few days, right after he'd used it as a lookout while battling the summoned crab. The best thing about it was that he could easily see all around without much trouble, and the fact that his clones could find him without much effort.

After a quick look around to see if anyone needed his help, Naruto sat down and focused on the specifics of this technique, as they had been written on the scroll. There weren't many.

The technique was, in essence, very easy. It had no seals or other movement, only raw application of chakra. It was all about compressing said energy and using it as an extra layer of skin.

Looking back to the sea of orange training below, Naruto quickly realized they were all going at it in similar ways, each releasing chakra in bursts and trying to make it solid, if only for a second. It didn't seem to be making much progress, either.

He'd try something different, then.

Naruto released his chakra in one continuous surge, a blue aura of power forming around his entire body.

'Now, compressing it…' he said to himself, trying to force his own energies to his will.

* * *

"So, you expect to be in Konoha in two days ?"

"Yup." The caravan master said. "Just make sure to be here at eight tomorrow morning. If ya or yours ain't there, we be leaving without you"

"No worries sir." The lead clone answered after a look at his 'family'. "We will be there."

"Perfect."

The group of Naruto left the caravan depot toward the motel they had rented earlier. The decision to use such means to enter the Leaf Village had come upon seeing one such caravan on the way to the city they were currently in, and had decided as a group that this way would be much more normal for a civilian family. They'd rented a place in one the biggest caravan they'd found in the city that was continuing to Konoha, claiming that the previous caravan they had taken had gone no farther than this point.

Now back in the privacy of their shared room, the group released their transformations, saving up chakra that way.

"So, how many clones should we make ?" The Naruto impersonating the father asked.

"Huh ?"

"Well…" The clone added. "You did notice we received a message to spread clones outside Konoha ?" The three others nodded.

"Why should we create more than one each ?"

"I'll answer you with a question. Did you notice how many caravans were in town ? And how many destinations they covered ?"

"I have a good idea about the number, but not so much about the destinations." The two other clones shook their heads negatively.

"I have to agree most caravans' final destination is Wind, but they have different way of getting there. Grass, River, Bird, Rain, those are all on the path to Wind."

"We already have a team in Grass." Added one of the children clones.

"But none in the others. And that list doesn't include all those not passing by Wind. I saw caravans going to Waterfall, Vegetable and Rice Field along with one going by sea to Tea country. If we send clones in all of those, we have a good third of all the great countries covered."

"Point." Said the second of the child clones. "I think I can manage a good five, how about you ?"

That night, thirty more copies stealthily left the motel that the false family was using, and by the next day they were on their way outside of Fire country.

* * *

Shiro Nokoru was a proud chūnin of the leaf who, as was usual for him, was assigned the surveillance of a part of the tall stockade surrounding Konoha. It was a job he'd done more than any other in his life, and that he was satisfied as such.

Having been to such a post for a long while, he'd thought he'd seen everything outside of full out war. That was why, two hours into his guard shift, he was graced by the sight of something he'd never expected to be possible.

There was a boy climbing the wall.

And by climbing he didn't mean wall-walking. He'd already seen some of those, new genins having just been taught the method, trying to prove themselves great by climbing the tallest building they could see. (Those climbing the wall usually got off lucky, at least compared to those trying the same on the Hokage monument. The ANBU were much less forgiving on average.)

No, this kid was doing it the old fashioned method, with a knife in each hand and some kind of spike on his shoes.

Shiro had to admire the guts the kid had. The wall itself was taller than most buildings in the city, and was hard rock. If he missed, the fall would surely kill him.

The chūnin decided to wait until he'd finished his ascent, or to catch him if he fell.

It took an hour for the boy to finish his climb. The wall guard had to give it to the boy; he had stamina, especially considering he didn't look a day over twelve.

Dispelling the genjutsu he'd used to hide himself, the chūnin asked. "Is there any reason why you did that ?"

Surprised, the boy turned while jumping to the side. Good reflexes, Shiro noted, though his balance could use some work. "How did you get here ?" the kid said, his weapons (two knives so dulled by the climb he would have hurt a fly with them) in a decent offensive position.

"A ninja never tells his secrets."

"You're a ninja ?" the boy's face changed instantly, a big smile shining on it. "This is Konoha, right ?" Shiro nodded. "I wanna join !" The face became pleading.

"You want to be a ninja ?"

"Yeah !"

"And what do your parents have to say about that."

The face the boy made answered all of the chūnin's questions. Rage, sadness, pain, loneliness, all mixed together. Either the boy's parents died recently, or he'd been abandoned not so long ago.

"Tell you what." He changed the subject. "I still have two hour before my break, so I'm going to test you until then. If you do good enough, I'll bring you to the academy for enrolling, ok ?"

The boy's face teared up again, but this time in happiness. "Thank you !" he cried out, bowing as he did.

"What's your name ?"

"Muremaru"

"Don't thank me yet, Muremaru" Shiro smiled.

He then put him to the test. The whole works: Push-ups, sit-ups, throwing, dodging, even a mock battle. The kid impressed him again, nonetheless. He lasted the whole two hours without complaining or rest. Sure he wasn't perfect, his throwing was horrible and his taijutsu needed a lot of work, but the boy was fast, dodged well, and his stamina was high even for being a kid full of energy.

Come his break, he had no choice but to uphold his end of the bargain. Bringing him to the academy, he noticed another thing he liked in the boy: he was focused. He passed the whole way to the ninja school in silence. Sure, he was looking around on both sides, but he went the distance in silence, even though Shiro was sure he had a hundred questions.

Once in the building he made his way to Iruka's door, and a single knock had the teacher opening the way to his office.

"Nokoru-san, What can I do to help you ?"

"Umino-san, I have a child for you." Umino Iruka was of the same genin class as he was, though contact between them had been rare after that time. They had gone in two much different ways, in the end.

Shiro brought the boy forward. "He is someone without parents, and has made his way here to be able to enrol as a ninja."

"I will take care of him, Iruka." Someone said behind them.

Turning around, both Shiro and Iruka noticed another chūnin had joined them. The wall guard knew him well, having been in a team under his leadership at many a time during his genin days.

"I have no problem in doing his inscription, Hyōjin-san." Iruka replied.

"You have already missed two days and are probably still late on your work." Hyōjin Kiritori stated in his habitual neutral tone. While many found this peculiarity of his speech condescending, Shiro knew that this way just his way. He still sounded like an Aburame, though. "Since my own preparatory work is complete, it is better for all that I take care of it."

"If you say so... " Iruka relented. "Good day then, Nokoru-san, Hyōjin-san." He then retreated into his office.

Both he and Muremaru followed the older instructor to the door of his own office, where said person turned to the boy.

"Can you wait for me in my office while I talk to Nokoru-san here ? I won't be long."

"Sure." The boy said, leaving the two to their conversation.

"I didn't know you had asked for a job as an instructor." Shiro noted as soon as the boy was gone.

"Sandaime-sama personally came to see me as soon as the debacle with Mizuki was over." He said, rare emotion entering his word as he spoke the traitor's name. "It fit well with my plans, also."

"Your plans ?"

"I am getting old, Shiro." he said, sighing. And it was true. For a ninja, he was in his late fifties, past retirement age. "And with what happened with the Kyūbi, I'm the last of my clan. But I swore to my father when he taught me our clan's style that I would do everything I could for it not to die. So I have been looking for the past three years for someone that could carry my legacy. A child I could train to be the next master of the Sharp Fist."

"And ?"

"Nothing. I've looked at the last three graduating classes and all those with talent for taijutsu end up being clan members already using a specific style. And I won't let my clan's style be assimilated by another."

"What about this Rock Lee kid ? Gai's screaming to all corners that he's the next taijutsu master of Konoha."

"True, he has the potential, but my style needs chakra usage to be fully mastered. He unfortunately couldn't make the cut." He sighed again. He obviously cared about his style very much. It was the most emotion he'd seen in the man ever.

"Now, to come back to what I wanted to ask..." Kiritori added. "How did you come by the boy ?"

"You won't believe me."

"Do tell."

"He climbed the wall."

"He already knows how to use chakra ?"

"No, not that I know of. He climbed the old-fashioned way."

Both were silent for a moment.

"That is impressive."

"He might be what you're looking for. He's got at least speed and endurance, and while his combat skills are nothing to write home about, it would at least allow you to start from scratch."

"I will see. What about his family ?"

"Either dead or having abandoned him. His face told me as much."

"Do you want me to put you as the boy's sponsor ?"

Shiro thought for an instant. "Why not ? He deserves it for what I put him through. You need anything else from me ?"

"No."

"Then, I'll be leaving him in your capable hands while I return to the wall. Good day."

"Good day." the instructor said as the other ninja disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

Entering his office he found the boy seated on the chair reserved to guest. Said child quickly turned around to look at him.

"I do not know If Shiro introduced me to you, so I will do so. My name is Hyōjin Kiritori, and I will be the taijutsu instructor starting next session." The boy raised his hand. "Yes ?"

"Taijutsu ?"

"Combat with either the body or with weapons. Now, can I have your name ?"

"Muremaru."

The chūnin wrote it down. "Family Name ?"

The child's face tensed and lowered. "I don't have any family."

"I am sorry if this causes you pain, but I need complete information to do your inscription. So your family name would be ?"

"Jōkā." The boy's face didn't rise.

"Place of residence ?"

"None."

The questions continued in the same vein for a good thirty minutes. It took a good ten of those for the boy's eyes to get back up, but by the end he was smiling as if nothing had happened. Kiritori had learned a magic word to make the boy's spirit rise back up... 'Ninja'.

As Muremaru started in the physical evaluation that came with wanting to be a ninja, the chūnin couldn't help but notice exactly what his past subordinate had told him earlier.

He had been right; this kid might have been the exact person he'd been waiting for.

* * *

For Iruka, the day passed with agonizing slowness. He'd expected to be the one writing in both of Naruto's prank inscriptions into Konoha Academy, but couldn't find anything on the spot to oppose the words of the elder chūnin.

And the worse was he was right ! He was still late in his preparations ! Worst was, Iruka had passed the whole afternoon juggling from supply notice to student annulations to weapon requisition form, all the while going at half his usual speed due to anxiety.

And the knowledge of the problem did anything but help.

Hyōjin Kiritori, who'd been chosen by the Hokage to replace Mizuki, was something of a legend in the chūnin circles. A taijutsu specialist of high grade (while not on the level of Maito Guy), he was one of the few chūnin to be consistently given A-Rank missions. The rumor was he'd turned down the jōnin rank at least twice, for reasons unknown (Though, again, widely gossiped about). He was probably one of the top chūnin in Konoha.

He was more than good enough to be able to see through disguises.

So Iruka stressed continuously, expecting every second to have Naruto surge in telling him his prank had been seen through, or his college notifying him of an infiltration attempt.

He nearly hit the ceiling when someone knocked on his door in the late afternoon.

Kiritori came in right after that, and handed him the registration papers.

While placing the various sheets in their respective folders, Iruka couldn't help himself but ask questions.

"So, what should I expect of our newest student ?"

"Probably a Taijutsu specialist." His college answered. "Full of energy. Very focused." Iruka boggled internally at that. "I have high hopes for the boy after he's unlocked usage of his chakra. However, his scores in the written evaluation are borderline, so you and Kazuhi might have issues with his work. All in all a good match for most students."

"Ok." Iruka answered. His concentration wasn't fully there, but he was glad that Naruto's plan was still underway without any great issue.

"Do you need me for anything else ?" The elder chūnin asked.

Iruka quickly checked through the various papers he had been handed, verifying if they were complete. "No, it seems everything is filled completely. You can go. I'll also be leaving as soon as this has been properly placed."

"I will see you tomorrow then."

* * *

When Iruka entered Naruto's underground training facility, he was graced with the sight of something akin an all-out war. Each and every clone in sight was fighting.

Fighting each other.

They were visibly restraining themselves, battling only using their fists, feet and kunais. Iruka waited at the end of the tunnel he had taken, looking around, when he finally noticed what they were doing.

They were training.

They had some kind of technique Iruka didn't know, one that allowed them to block attacks with just about any part of their body. Just now the chūnin had seen a Naruto bat away a kunai with his head, all without bursting.

It was pretty impressive.

A single more minute allowed Iruka to find what he expected was the original Naruto. He was standing on one of the many rocky protuberances the place had, and was the only one not actively fighting.

He also frequently summoned more kage bunshins, which is how the academy teacher had spotted him.

Making his way there, Iruka marvelled at the training. With the sheer amount of clones working, he'd gain mastery at a rate that was unbelievable !

Jumping, when he landed right beside his most unpredictable pupil, he couldn't help but smile at the sight of him. "Good evening, Naruto."

"Evening, Iruka." He did a quick look around. "How did you manage to find the real me ?"

"Easy. First, you're not fighting. Second, I'm pretty sure your clones can't use kage bunshin as much as I've seen you use it."

He scratched behind his head. "Well, you caught me." He said, smiling.

"I'd like to talk to you, so, could we move someplace a little quieter, please."

"Sure, one second." Once more doing the specific hand sign necessary for his jutsu, the academy student called into being the largest wave of copies up to date. He then turned to the one closest to him.

"Pass the message, I want you clones to continue fighting until there's only a single one left, OK ?"

"OK." The clone answered. A second later he was beset by kunais coming from various points, including the original. He managed to block the first five, but the sixth turned him back into smoke.

"Let's go." Naruto then exclaimed.

He led Iruka back into the room the chūnin had seen the last time he was here, however this time the council was absent and only the two of them were present.

The chūnin did not wait a second and took a chair opposite his favourite student.

"So, is everything going fine ?" Naruto said as soon as his teacher was no longer standing.

"Yes, but I have a question first... What exactly was going on down there ?"

"Training."

"I'd noticed. What kind ?"

"A banned technique from the scroll of seals. It simply allows one to create a hard skin made of chakra to block."

"Why train in that one ?"

"You do know my clones will have to participate in whatever Taijutsu training there will be during class, right ? They'll need something like this simply to survive whenever we have free-for-all sparring."

"True." He hadn't thought about that possible solution. Iruka had been planning on keeping Naruto and/or one of his clones for the taijutsu exercises, under various pretences. Only one would be going, and that would have been the true Naruto under Henge. He was glad that the boy had found another way, as his plan was pretty risky.

"You should be more careful about training in those, you know. They were banned for a reason."

"Yeah, I know, but I'm pretty sure this one was mostly banned due to politics."

"Why would that be ?"

"It interferes with the Hyūga Jyuken."

Iruka whistled and nodded. He had to agree with the conclusion Naruto had come to. The Hyūga Clan had much in the way of political power, and they were well known to oppose anything that limited the power of their style.

"Be careful anyway."

"No worries. My clones already went through every technique, removing those that were dangerous to me in any way (Which didn't include anything related to chakra exhaustion, as Naruto was pretty sure it was impossible for him)." He paused for an instant. "Now, how went my latest clone's inscription."

"You probably know better than me." Iruka answered.

"Then how about we trade information ?" asked Naruto.

"Perfect with me."

Naruto then explained everything from climbing the wall to the moment when the academy teacher had left him, after applying and being given a budget as an orphaned academy student. Iruka added whatever comments Kiritori had given him.

"I have a question though..." Iruka said at the end.

"Ask away."

"Kiritori-san said you were very focused. How ?"

"That's just the personality I decided for Muremaru. It there any issue with that ?"

"Are you sure you won't have any problem keeping up that appearance during class ?" He waited an instant. "Not to be insulting, but you aren't the most focused boy in the classroom. Are you sure you will be able to keep that appearance up."

"Sure. I can be focused when I want to. Remember that time with the tags ? You know, the one two years ago ?"

It took some time before Iruka remembered that specific moment, but he groaned once he did. After a week without pranks, Naruto had managed to put explosive tags in every single place Iruka could have thought of. Luckily those had been training tags issued for the academy, those being generally as strong as a simple firecracker. He'd even managed to chain them in specific ways, like those he'd used to make every single drawer in the room open abruptly before their contents exploded out.

Iruka had to admit the level of focus necessary for such a prank was much more than he'd ever shown in class. "Then, why didn't you show that focus in the academy ?"

"Cause it's boring ! Those tests you give out, I've already done them ! Most of those lectures I've already had ! When I go to school, I wanna be taught something new and useful, not something boring and useless. For the prank it won't be a problem, since it's for a prank, but the rest of the time it's not worth the effort. It's not like you're teaching any new ninjutsu, after all."

Before Iruka could answer anything, a clone entered the room at high speed.

"Boss, you gotta come down here !" He said.

"Why ?"

"The clones you sent to Grass are back."

"And why didn't you use a clone to message me ?"

"We did. Three times even ! You just didn't receive it, it seems." The Naruto copy answered.

While Iruka followed Naruto back down, he was thinking about the speech Naruto had given him. He had to agree that any kid having to do the same thing twice wouldn't be interested the second time. And most exams were similar in most points.

There had to be a way of making it more interesting.

Once back into his training room before the delegation sent to Grass, Naruto waited no time.

"Back already ?"

"Yup." The lead bunshin answered.

"Didn't I tell you to message once you were there ?"

"You did and we did. It's the first time we heard that a message didn't come through."

"I think it's because we're starting to have too many clones. Probably something to do with multiple clones dispersing at the same time."

"Troublesome..." The original said, copying Shikimaru. "Anyway, how did you manage to get from here to Grass and back in less than a week ?"

"We found something, Boss..." The bunshin waited a moment. "You know the problems we have with the replacement technique ?"

The real Naruto, along with most of the clones standing around him, nodded.

"Well it's all a matter of distance. The farther we move with the technique, the easier it is."

"Impossible !" Iruka interrupted. "The replacement technique may not have set limits, but anything beyond a hundred meters can't be done."

"Want to bet ?" The clone answered. He pointed towards one of the many rocky spires rising from the ground. "How far would you estimate that spike to be ?"

The chūnin looked carefully. "Three to four hundred meters, at least."

"Look hard." The clone did the required hand signs in a flash, and a large rock took its place.

Turning around, Iruka saw that it had switched itself exactly the distance it had said, and was now standing and waving from the top of said rock. A second later, he was back, having replaced himself back with the same stone.

"Enough proof for you ?" He said, smirking.

Iruka nodded, in shock. The replacement technique was E-rank, and the idea that someone could move so far on so little chakra was preposterous. You'd need to overload the jutsu incredibly to...

The gears started turning into the chūnin's mind. Unless you overload the jutsu, such distances were impossible. In all the techniques Naruto knew, some were impossible to overload, like Kage Bunshin, while he had issues with every single technique from the academy, which took very little chakra. Except the transformation technique, but since his was different from any other it might be much more demanding in term of chakra.

"Hey Iruka..." Naruto asked.

The chūnin waved his student into silence. Gathering all his reserves, he tried doing exactly what he had asked for the last exam at the academy: two normal bunshins. Only this time, he wanted to overload them as much as possible.

Going through the needed hand signs, he channelled as much chakra as he could in the technique, all the while limiting himself to two clones.

Said clones appeared. They were, however, similar to the last two normal clones Naruto had summoned. Their skin was clammy and they were visibly sick, and vanished less than two second after appearing.

"I finally understand..." Iruka finally said, breathing hard. "Why the normal clones didn't work for you."

All the Narutos turned towards him in unison. "Why ?"

"It wasn't lack of effort, as I'd thought, but too much effort. You were putting too much chakra in the technique, and that why it always failed."

"Oh." They all answered.

"That's good that we finally found out." The teacher added. "Especially since your two clones in the academy have to be proficient in that technique, especially if you want them to stand out for you."

"Right." The true Naruto said, while all others fell silent. It took a few minutes before he turned back to the group coming for Grass.

"So, since I didn't receive the message, how did it go with Ichibō ?"

"Here..." The leader of the clone group said, tossing him the scroll. "You need to summon this guy."

* * *

Japanese translations :

Shiro Nokoru  
Shiro(城) - Castle  
Nokoru (残る) - To remain

Hyōjin Kiritori  
Hyōjin(氷刃) - Sharp, glistening sword  
Kiritori(切取り) - cutting, tearing off, cutting off, clipping

Jōkā(じょーかー) - Joker

To those who thought I had abandoned this story, I tell you I will not. I have everything planned up until the end of the first part, and you can be sure we will get there ! I promise also you won't have to wait another year before getting the next part of the story.

Anyway, to all of you reading, have a happy new year !


	8. Final Preparations

A Drop of Poison

Chapter Seven : Final Preparations

Disclaimer : Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. Ramen belongs to Naruto. Enough said.

* * *

"Here..." The leader of the clone group said, tossing him the scroll. "You need to summon this guy."

Catching the scroll, Naruto eyed it carefully. After the debacle with the crab, he was more careful with summoning than he'd been before.

"Who is it supposed to summon ?"

"The boss of the rabbits."

Thinking a few moments, the original student answered. "Why don't you go over what happened since you left..."

The clone group did so, each speaking in turn to complete what the previous had started, which made the conversation difficult to follow. Not helping was the fact that the various explanations sparked some memories inside Naruto. He evidently remembered some form of what happened, but not consciously. Fortunately, or unfortunately, this wasn't the time to dwell on such things.

"So, in short..." The blonde ninja said, once the explanation was winding down. "The guy this thing summons is the one who'll decide if we make the cut or not, true ?" The group of bunshin nodded.

"What do you think, sensei ?"

Iruka jolted out of his thinking at that phrase. "Sorry Naruto, I wasn't paying attention. You were saying ?" He asked.

Said boy quickly gave a quick description of the various discussions with and about the rabbit summons for his teacher. Iruka was originally appalled at the risks his student had taken, but couldn't argue with the results.

"So, what do you think ?" Naruto added, seeing that the chūnin was still pondering what he had said.

After a few seconds of not finding any point to argue, the teacher nodded. "I can't find any reason not to summon this rabbit leader of yours. I doubt it could be a trap, and even then the sheer number of clones would pretty much insure an escape. Just don't be afraid to run if it gets dangerous. Also, prepare a large space. I've heard that some of the boss summons are quite large." The bunshins started moving at said words.

"OK."

"Can I stay here and watch ? I've never seen any of the boss summons, so it would be a learning experience for me also."

"No problem." His student answered, unrolling the scroll on the ground before him. He then took one of his kunai, slashed open a finger and spread the blood in a line in a smooth motion.

The scroll reacted instantly, consuming itself while emitting copious smoke. It, however, quickly dispersed, and the rabbit boss was now standing there.

For all Iruka had said, said rabbit wasn't large at all. He was one or two inches taller than the chūnin, and was standing in a similar way as any human. He wasn't wearing much, but was covered with pale grey fur. His only accoutrements were a leather strap holding a bag full of staves in his back, and a pair of black gloves with steel plates made for his animal hands.

As soon as his eyes opened, he fixed Naruto with a stare.

Naruto stood there, impassive.

After a full minute where Naruto stood still while Iruka stressed but refrained from moving, the summon lifted his stare. The pressure that had been there evaporated in an instant.

The rabbit sniffed, then smiled.

"I can see you're something special, kit."

Naruto relaxed at those words, and smiled. It was the shy smile Iruka saw rarely, like the time he'd given the boy the money for his prank. He relaxed also.

"I am Nanabō-oh, leader of the rabbit summons, and Ichibō has interceded in favor of you signing the rabbit contract."

The nonhuman figure did any few seals (which seemed bizarre considering his hands) and two other rabbits appeared. One was a little shorter than Naruto, was wearing clothes similar to those of a samurai with two swords hanging from his side, and had his ears tied together. The other was a normal rabbit, the same size as Ichibō had been. It had two weapons consisting of two differently sized short blades on wooden handles hanging somehow on his back. Both were pure white.

"These two will be the ones testing you." The summon leader said before turning to his subordinates. "Miyamoto, test his ability at surviving first with Monty, then his ability to learn."

"Yes, Master." Said rabbit replied, bowing.

"During that time I'll look around the city with you." He added, looking at Iruka. "Is that ok with you ?"

Iruka, who had been up until now a spectator, was surprised at his inclusion in the plans. "I don't see why I couldn't..." He answered.

"Good." The animal boss added.

"Why can't I we wait until I'm done with the tests, and we all go together ?" Naruto said, his tone a little whining. Iruka held back a sigh.

"Sorry kit, but we'll probably end up in a bar somewhere, and I don't think you're cleared for alcohol yet."

Naruto pouted but didn't argue.

* * *

As soon as the two tallest of the group left, Naruto turned back toward the one dressed as a warrior. "So, how are those tests going to be ?"

"First, Uzumaki-san, as you have heard, Monty here..." The rabbit pointed down to the smallest of the group. "Will test your ability to survive."

"How ?"

"He will fight you. Your goal is not to defeat him but to survive."

"That's all ? No limited techniques ?"

"Yes, Uzumaki-san. It is much more difficult than you will expect, I gather." The rabbit paused for a second. "Are you ready ?"

Naruto twisted his neck twice in preparation. "Sure."

"Monty, non-lethal. Go."

Said rabbit blurred.

The rabbit crossed the few meters separating them in an eye blink, and saw the two weapons bare inches from his face a fraction of a second before reality blinked.

Disoriented, the academy student quickly realized what had happened the moment a clone's memories surged in his mind, accompanied by the sound of an uncorking bottle. A clone had switched with him at the last instant, saving his neck.

Hearing something rushing towards him, he switched again, this time landing on the farthest pillar from his point of origin. By now the clones had realized what was going and were once again trying to attack in masse, though the only result was the rhythmic sounds of uncorking bottles as said clothes were decapitated.

Seeing his bunshins going down at high speed, he quickly created a new batch (two to three hundred) before switching again.

This time he didn't wait, and as soon as he appeared he called out "RAITON !", knowing his clones would get the meaning.

And they did.

A second later too many flashes to count filled the room. Naruto was happy to hear that the dreadful popping sounds stopped at that instant.

And restarted a second later, once again coming closer.

Naruto switched while swearing in his head. How did that bunny track him ?

As soon as he reappeared, the death of a clone gave him a good idea.

Sound.

"Noise !" he cried out, right before switching.

This time it took a longer longer for the clones to catch on, but they quickly did.

One by one, they all started making noise. Some clapped their hands or stomped the ground. Some started singing, some yelling, some whistling. A few even started telling jokes !

The effect, however, was immediate. The rabbit no longer tracked him unerringly, and started eliminating the clones closest to him instead.

It then became a stalemate, with Monty eliminating clones as quickly as Naruto created them.

After a full minute of this, the samurai rabbit Miyamoto had enough.

"Monty, stop."

As soon as those words were uttered the small summon was back where he had been originally, as if he'd never moved. Naruto, on his side, switched back before the two rabbits, breathing a little hard.

"Good enough showing, I suppose." the samurai said.

Monty, unmoving, said nothing.

Overtaken by curiosity, Naruto couldn't help but ask. "Does he talk ?"

"He never did, to my knowledge." Miyamoto answered. "I am not even sure his true name is Monty. He does answer to it, however." He paused for a second. "Can I ask a question ?"

"Sure."

"Why did you not flee using your technique ? Survival was the goal, not defeat."

This, the blond needed to ponder. It took him a few moments before he came up with an answer. "I didn't really think about the option. My main goal was to deal with his speed and tracking ability. I don't think I could have done that while dodging him in a narrow corridor." He finally replied.

"A valid answer. Now for the second test." the rabbit paused. "Have you been trained in the way of the sword ?"

"No."

"Perfect. Now if you can get something to train with, be it a sword, bokuto, shinai..." the samurai enumerated, his eyes closed

The clone closest to the exit disappeared for a second, only to reappear a few seconds later beside Naruto loaded with dozen of sword-like weapons.

"Sheath, a thin plank, a cane... even a branch would do." he finished, finally looking at Naruto, who was in the process of selecting a katana.

Miyamoto choked a little. "Those will be fine, I think... Now take your sword like this." He instructed, demonstrating with his own sword. "And take this position..."

Monty, still looking, stood there silently.

* * *

The summon named Nanabō-oh had not lied. He'd entered the first bar Iruka had pointed out and had gotten them a private booth. He had been helped by the fact that he'd hidden his natural appearance under a genjutsu that, to the chūnin's eyes, was flawless. He was now, outside his grey hair and eyes, a totally forgettable person.

He'd ordered a strawberry liqueur for himself, while Iruka took a simple Konoha beer. As soon as they received their orders, the bunny leader stepped up. "Now that we have drink, let's get to the real reason we're here."

"Which is ?"

"I want you to describe me your student, Naruto."

"Why me ? You could have asked him..."

"Yes, but a herd knows its members well. A friend knows even better. A person might underplay or overplay his own abilities, but a real friend would not. So, tell me about this boy who wants to summons the rabbits."

"Well, how could I describe him... He's someone very friendly and energetic. And loyal also. He tends however to be very lonely, and keeps his emotions to himself. He's much brighter than he looks, and can think outside the box at the best of times." Iruka was ticking down fingers. "Sadly, he's not one for the usual school environment, and I have much difficulty having him focus on his classes. Between that and his pranking, he makes the academy interesting, to say the least."

"So he's a prankster ?" The rabbit said, smiling. The chūnin did not notice, stuck in reminiscence.

"The very worst. Not a month ago he painted graffiti over the carving of the previous Hokages." He pointed out.

"Over the face of your leaders ?"

"Yes."

"Bwahahaha !" Nanabō-oh couldn't help himself and laughed heartily. "He can see he's a handful."

"Yes... Apart from that..." The academy teacher became more reticent. "He hasn't really... been treated properly."

"How come ?"

"Well, he's an orphan... And no one cared enough to adopt him. He's been alone since forever... and doesn't make friends easily." Iruka was silent after that, not wanting to get into dangerous territory.

It seemed, however, to be painting a good enough picture for the rabbit king.

"That's all fine and good, but there's one thing missing... What's the link between him and foxes ?"

Iruka tried not to react, he really did, but even the partial stumble was damning enough for the creature in front of him. "You know." He said.

"I can't say anything." the chūnin replied.

"Wait, this is Konoha, right ? That would mean... Then he..." Iruka's eyes filled with fear. He was watching a train wreck in slow motion, but was powerless to stop it.

"Bwahahaha !" Laughter ? That wasn't what he'd expected.

"The foxes will be trying to one-up us for centuries after that !" He kept on laughing

The teacher didn't understand anything anymore. "Explain, please." His voice was fierce, but his companion didn't seem to be offended.

It took a few second for Nanabō-oh to get his breath back. "The fact is, generally, the relationships between animal summons emulate those of the animal they represent. That's why the snake and frog court have always been opposed: One is naturally prey to the other. It would normally be the same between rabbit and foxes, if not for one thing: we are both known to be trickster spirits."

"Ok."

"So that makes the relations between us two more like rivals than actual enemies. Our 'fights' are pranks we do one another or occasionally on other animals."

Iruka motioned to continue.

"Added to that is the fact that the foxes were always somewhat proud that the Kyūbi was a fox. They didn't like its methods at all, but it was the strongest, and it was a fox."

Nanabō-oh smiled.

"And now the vessel for the Kyūbi, who the fox court would have given their tail to have, is asking to be a member of the rabbit court... Bwahahaha !" He started laughing again.

The laughter was quite a bit hysterical and Iruka couldn't help but smile. It was, he had to admit, a reaction he hadn't seen coming. And he understood, that was the worst !

"It really doesn't bother you ?" The chūnin had to ask.

"What, you really think that the mighty Kyūbi would want to sign the rabbit contract ?" He started on laughter even more hysterical than previous. Iruka himself released a bark of laughter at the image of the Kyūbi, great destroyer taller than Konoha, trying to sign a scroll not even two feet large.

It took a while before the laughter died down, and Nanabō-oh took the opportunity to finish his glass. "Well then, the kid's got my vote at least. I haven't laughed that hard since I glued bunny ears to the foxes and stopped them from realizing with genjutsu."

Iruka smiled at the image of rabbit-eared foxes. It was pretty evident that this guy and Naruto would get along famously.

"One last thing then before we go back." He once again did a number of hand seals, though they were recognizable this time. A small black rabbit with a staff popped on the bench beside the bunny leader.

"Yo, Kage." It said.

"Kage ?" Iruka asked, curious.

"Ever since he learned that the ninja leaders are called Kages, he's been calling me such. He's been wanting to be a ninja ever since he knew the definition of the word." He paused. "Ichibō."

"Yes."

"On the matter of the swearing of Naruto Uzumaki, what is your vote ?" Nanabō-oh said, solemnly.

"I vote yes. Additionally, I would be proud to be a member of his battle herd and to serve as his burrowguard." The black rabbit answered head down but voice straight.

Nanabō-oh was visibly surprised. "You sure ?"

"With my life."

The rabbit leader thought for a moment before nodding. "Well, you always wanted to be outside, so this is your chance."

"Thank you." The smaller rabbit bowed deeply.

Iruka had held up asking questions not to interrupt what was visibly an important moment, but now couldn't resist asking. "So, what was all that ?"

"Okay, to explain... someone's battle herd is the group that accompanies one in battle, only to a greater degree. The closest thing that comes to mind in human terms is 'brother of war'. A burrowguard, however, is a honorary position given to a rabbit who guards, at all time, the burrow of an important person, such as an expecting mother or revered elder. Basically, what Ichibō meant was that he would accompany Naruto everywhere and fight with him." He paused for a second. "You are his teacher, correct ?"

"Yes."

"Ichibō, in addition to convincing Naruto, I want this man agreement before anything is finalised."

Now, Iruka had seen two years of academy students, and considered himself pretty resistant to the various puppy-dog eyes he had faced in his career. Naruto was one of the rare children who still had an effect on him, and that was mostly due to their similar lives than anything. He considered it a point of pride that he had stood firm before those of an actual puppy, as Kiba had trained Akamaru to produce the effect on demand.

Akamaru had nothing on Ichibō.

"Well..." The teacher found himself answering. "The Inuzuka do have their dogs... I can't really say no..."

The small rabbit started hopping and dancing madly on the table, saying "ThankyouThankyouThankyou..." all the while.

"Well..." Nanabō-oh added. "Now that this is done, how about we see how our prospective summoner is doing ?"

"Let's." Iruka said, rising.

* * *

"Now third, then fifth. No, not like that, keep your weapon straight. Yes, better." Miyamoto said as Naruto followed his instructions.

That was the sight that greeted Iruka and the two rabbits (Ichibō was riding on his leader's shoulders). Nanabō-oh was back to his normal self, having removed the genjutsu as soon as they had gotten in the tunnels.

"So, how is our young ninja ?" The rabbit leader exclaimed as soon as he entered Naruto's underground lair.

The samurai waited until his master, along with Iruka, had rejoined him near the training kid before responding "He can be taught. He is not particularly talented with the sword, but has great endurance and doesn't shy from training."

"Good, good. And your vote ?"

"I vote yes."

Monty, standing silent and near, thumped the ground once.

"Yes ?" The rabbit leader answered.

The small bunny thumped once again, this time with both paws, then twice in quick succession.

"You sure ?"

He hit the ground once again.

"Ok. So, with four votes out of the requisite three," The rabbit leader intoned very ceremonially. "Naruto Uzumaki, you have been cordially accepted as a member of the rabbit clan."

"Now there are only three steps left. First, do you swear to follow the rules of the rabbit clan ? To never be without children, to never let the clan die out, and to never let one's knowledge be forgotten ?"

"Yes." Naruto answered, standing ramrod straight.

"Second…" The rabbit king said, motioning to Ichibō that was standing on his shoulder. "This one has something to ask." Said animal jumped down, coming to stand in front of the academy student.

"Uzumaki-san, I would like to accompany you as you go about your life. I will help you, guard you and fight with you as necessary. I'll train you and train with you, so that both of us would be the best we can." He bowed low. "Please accept this selfish request, Uzumaki-san. I will do my best to be worthy of you."

Naruto didn't know what to answer. He wasn't even sure if he'd understood properly. It sounded too good to be true. He instinctively turned towards Iruka for clarification.

"Basically, he want to be to you as Akamaru is to Kiba... You understand now ?" The chūnin responded to the unspoken question.

Slowly, Naruto broke into a wide smile. He bent down as much as possible, just to tower less over the still-bowing rabbit.

"Sure." Ichibō head rose in a flash. "One thing, though... I'm Naruto, so call me that. No Uzumaki-san or something like that, OK?"

Said rabbit nodded while jumping up and down, then leapt to Naruto's shoulder and started nuzzling him in the neck.

Both Iruka and Nanabō-oh let the scene go on without any interruptions. Iruka knew how much Naruto needed acceptance from others, and suspected something similar in Ichibō. He was glad Naruto had someone else than the Hokage and himself, even if that person was a rabbit.

He suspected a similar train of thought was going through the elder rabbit's head.

"Third..." Nanabō-oh intoned after the new duo had a few minutes to regain composure. "The signing of the scroll."

He once again made a string of hand signs, and another rabbit popped right in front of him. This one was a little taller than Miyamoto, twice as large, and covered in armor plates. Said scroll was hanging on the summon's belly. It handed the scroll to the rabbit leader on the instant it appeared.

Nanabō-oh wasted no time unrolling it, and after a few meters he had a blank spot handy to place in front of Naruto. "Now, to sign this scroll and confirm your contract with the rabbits, you need to place a handprint in blood of each of your hands on the paper, then to write down your name the same way below them."

"What's with the other names ? They're all smudged and unreadable."

"That's what happens when a summoner dies." the rabbit leader answered. "The scroll is special and keeps the blood fresh, but it's the user's chakra that keeps the blood legible. Meaning that upon a summoner's death, the blood runs and makes its signature impossible to read."

Cutting open his own palm with a kunai, Naruto used the blood there to wet his hands. "That means there isn't any other rabbit summoner left, right ?"

"Right."

Naruto wasted no time placing the handprints and writing down his name, knowing from experience that the cut he had made wouldn't bleed for long. As soon as he was done, Nanabō-oh rerolled the scroll for storage and handed it to its original carrier, which disappeared as soon as it was back in place.

"Miyamoto, Monty, we will be leaving also." The elder summon said. Miyamoto nodded, bowed, and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Turning to Naruto, Nanabō-oh smiled. "I expect you to summon me again in a week to see how much you improved, partner." He handed Naruto his paw with a grin.

Naruto shook it gratefully. "I will, partner." he said, smiling.

"Take good care of my grandson, then." And then he too vanished. Monty then followed suit an instant later.

Naruto turned to Ichibō in a flash. "Grandson ? !"

* * *

"Sorry we're late !" Said the two clones disguised as civilian children. They quickly took their places around the council table.

"Good..." The original ninja exclaimed, clapping his hands together. Ichibō, standing upon Naruto's head, was looking around confusion. "Now we can begin."

"As you know from various clone memories, this little guy is Ichibō, one of the rabbit summons, and the newest part of our council. Ichibō, this is the prank council, the group were we Narutos plan and decide upon what should be done."

"And this works with all of you being the same person ?" Ichibō asked, visibly confused.

"You'll see." replied the bunshin known as Muremaru.

"So, now that we're all there... Status report."

"I've finished both furnishing my place and buying the remaining ninja supplies we don't have in abundance." Ariko said, showing her kunoichi outfit as proof of her words. "I also have three clones currently studying the required book, since my cover includes being better on the theorical side than the other two."

"Good, good... Muremaru ?"

"I unfortunately haven't started on studying, but I've been given today the apartment I'll be using while in the academy." The group nodded. "Some second-hand stuff has also been delivered to me by the chūnin who tested me. Mostly old ninja stuff. I'll be going through it as soon as I go back out."

"Ok... How about you two ?" Naruto asked, pointing to the two civilian latecomers.

"Not as good on our side. We entered Konoha late today and haven't managed to find the person holding the deed for the shop we've been thinking of using." The female copy answered. "The two other clones are also busy filling the various papers we need to live in Konoha legally."

"How come none of the others had to fill such papers ?" One of the clones looking like Naruto asked.

"Personally, I believe that those are part of the documents Iruka and that other teacher, Kiritori, filled for us." The Naruto disguised as a civilian boy replied. "There's also quite a bit of red tape added with the various permits for shopkeepers and traders being involved."

"I guess that means you've decided on what names to use, correct ?" The real Naruto asked, looking in turn toward each of the civilians.

"Yup. I'm Gisei Kumori..." the female one said.

"And I'm her brother, Gisei Kokuei. Our father is Jinei and our mother, Anei." Her brother continued.

"Perfect. Kokuei, Kumori, remember to update everyone via clone about this selection." The two nodded while Naruto went on. "The fact that you guys are not up to schedule isn't that bad, your placement isn't as time-sensitive as the one of the two ninja bunshin."

"Now, unless there's an emergency, this will be the last council meeting before the academy opens... So, we need to make sure everything is as perfect as we can make it. We can't be meeting every day as we did before or it'll draw too much attention."

The whole council nodded.

"So, first thing : Techniques. I'd like your opinion on what we should focus on." The real academy student asked.

"You think we have a good enough mastery of the chakra shield." One of the undisguised clones said.

"I have to agree." Another added. "We need to at least have a few others working on new jutsu."

"Let's put it to the vote." The original concluded.

The vote was unanimous, and further bargaining split the clones training in half, with one continuing work and the shielding technique while the other would go back to the five remaining elemental jutsu they'd originally selected.

"Ok, one down. Second point, the clones outside. We need at least one person to take care of that. That includes everything : maps, numbers, what we can buy and sell, etc... I won't be able to take care of that, since I'll be back to the academy soon, so I'd like for volunteers."

Three of the clones raised their hands.

"Good, then I'm leaving that in your hands."

"We'll expect a report at the next meeting, though." The female civilian added.

"No prob." The first of the three replied, while the others nodded.

"Last thing then." Naruto continued. "Ichibō, that's you."

Said rabbit jumped down to the council table. "What can I do for you, Naruto ?"

"I've been thinking and I think you should go with Ariko for the classes."

"Why ? I'd much rather stay with the real you."

"I know, but the fact is, when classes start, if you stay with me, I'll need to explain your presence." Naruto sighed, clearly unhappy with the fact. "And I can't ! You're visibly not from Konoha and, as an academy student and orphan, I'm not supposed to have been far outside the village."

The council nodded sadly.

"Ariko, though, can explain your presence as something your father bought you as an acceptance present or something."

Ichibō hit the table twice with a paw. "That's only starting with the academy, right ?"

"Right."

"Then ok, but I'm staying with the real you until then." The rabbit rose to stand on his two hind paws. "I meant what I said earlier. I'm staying by you." He then jumped straight into Naruto's hair.

"Fine by me." He said with a smile. He then looked around the table at the various clones present. "If there isn't anything else..."

Rising, the various bunshins shook their heads in answer.

"Then this meeting is done. The council will meet again after the first day of school." He concluded while putting his seat back into place.

The various Narutos each went back to their own work.

* * *

Again, the clone names follow an obvious pattern, as can be seen in the Japanese translations below :

Anei (暗影) - shadow, gloom

Jinei (人影) - figure/shadow of a person

Kokuei (黒影) - silhouette, dark shadow

Kumori (曇り) - cloudiness, cloudy weather, shadow

Gisei (擬製) - imitation, forgery, copy

Also, this chapter is the last before Naruto returns to the Academy. Be ready next time to see the prank going live.

P.S. : I'll be doing a fanfiction panel at Otakuthon 2010 (in Montreal) on Friday August 13th at 6PM. Anybody with questions/comments is welcome to ask them after the panel.


	9. Back to School

A Drop of Poison

Chapter Eight : Back to School

Disclaimer : Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. Ramen belongs to Naruto. Enough said.

* * *

"Tatsujin Hiroshi ?"

"Present."

"Uzumaki Naruto ?"

"Here."

"Karakara ?"

Said student raised her hand.

"Muremaru ?"

"Hai."

"Perfect. Now, both as your primary instructor and as your ninjutsu teacher, I welcome you all to this year at the Konoha Ninja Academy. For all of you new students, my name is Umino Iruka and teaching ninjutsu is my specialty. To those of you returning for another year here, my job is to iron out whatever deficiencies you have and make you all better ninjas."

Said teacher looked around as most of the class nodded. A quick look around revealed easily the state of the class. Bigger than the previous one, which was somewhat unexpected. It was the first class whose starting student would have been born for sure after the Kyūbi.

The lack of members from preeminent shinobi families was also telling. Since none of the clan-born students from the previous year had failed to pass, there was only a branch Hyūga and a male member of the Kurama family currently in the room.

As for returners, there were ten, Naruto not included. That was higher than average and a good thing in the chūnin's mind, as Konoha needed the manpower.

"Now, I'd like for everyone returning for a new year to raise their hands. There's no shame in that, as there's always more students graduating than jōnin available for mentoring."

One by one the returners raised their hands. Naruto also did, and Iruka was proud of the fact that none of his other selves even twitched. It probably had helped that this wasn't the first time he'd gone through this ritual.

"To those who are in their first attempt, these are the students who have a good clue on how to proceed. I'll try to make myself available as much as possible, but unfortunately there's only one of me. If I'm too busy or I'm out of reach, ask around. I'm pretty sure you can find someone who can help you in this class."

Only a few nodded this time. Muremaru, the male Naruto clone, was one of them, but not the female one.

"Now, another show of hands. Outside those who are returning, raise your hand if any of you have already had some kind of official ninja instruction."

A good half of the class responded, with Ariko as one of them. Which meant...

"Those who haven't ?"

Only six people had their hands up, Muremaru included.

He nodded. "There's no shame in any of this, either. I personally was barely trained before coming to the academy, and I'm the one teaching you now. The most important thing each of you needs is effort. As long as you train hard and study hard, passing the required exams will be a certainty." (As long as you don't have some kind of birth defect like Rock Lee, he mentally added.)

"Now, as I said before, I'll be teaching you ninjutsu, and General ninja knowledge along with that. We'll be seeing each other every morning, along with..."

* * *

Two small thumps in her hair said it all.

Incoming.

"What a cute bunny ! Where did you find it ?"

The Naruto clone known as Ariko turned to the side to find five girls right beside her. One was looking at her face, but all the rest were cooing over Ichibō who was in his customary place sitting upon her head.

'So that's what he meant.' She mused.

"I didn't. My father bought it for me as an acceptance present."

"Lucky you !" The lead girl, and the only one who had looked at Ariko's face, cried out. "I only wished my father was as generous as yours." She brought out her hand out of her pocket to shake. "Suzuki Fumichi"

"Mori Nishi"

"Hayabashi Asano"

"Okita Mihoshi"

"And Kimura Ringo"

"Jōdan Ariko. And the little guy upstairs is Ichibō." It had been cleared with him. Ariko could use his real name. From what he said, it had been more than fifteen years since he'd been summoned, anyway.

"Can he do anything ?" Asano said.

"I don't know." The bunshin answered. She wasn't supposed to be much of a ninja, yet. "My father said he was a ninja bunny, though."

"A ninja bunny ? Where did he get it ?"

"Somewhere in grass, I think."

One left front leg thump. Yes.

"He agrees."

"How ?" asked Mihoshi.

"He seems to understand everything quite normally." She pointed toward the rabbit. "Ichibō, say yes again."

Said rabbit once again hit the clone's head with his left front paw.

"How intelligent." responded Fumichi. The rest were also looking at the animal in obvious awe.

"The other paw's no. That's pretty much all he does, for now."

That was quite false. The real Naruto had been working with Ichibō near full time since the last council meeting on silent communication. It wasn't up to the point of actual language, but by combining thumps from all four legs with specific noises, the rabbit could pass simple messages to the clone (or ninja) working as his perch. Naruto's side of the bargain was all in the fingers, snapping some either in the air or against the other hand.

"So, what does your father do ?" said Ringo.

"Merchant." She answered instantly. They had been part of her persona's set-up.

"What kind ?" asked Nishi.

That hadn't. Ariko answered the first thing that came to mind. "Clothing." She had been looking at the pattern on the lead girl's clothes at that time.

"Like your kunoichi outfit ?"

"No, civilian clothing." She'd bought her outfit in Konoha, so couldn't say that it was from her father. "He's rarely in Konoha, actually."

"Why ?"

"Most of his work is in Grass. We live on this side of the border with it, but that's where he does most of his sales."

"Then why did you come here, instead of Grass ?" said the leading girl.

"Father doesn't hold the ninjas there in high esteem, from what I can tell. He prefers dealing with those from Konoha instead."

All the girls smiled in pride at their village.

"You will have your father bring some of his best stuff, won't you ?" said Asano.

"But..." Ariko answered.

"Yeah, I wanna see the top fashions of Grass." added Mihoshi.

"I..."

"I'm sure they are better that the boring ones we see every day in Konoha"

"Wait..."

"Come on, it'll be fun !" completed the apparent leader of the group.

By the time lunch was over, Ariko's cover was as near fool-proof as it could have been. However, the girls had managed to wheedle out of Ariko the promise of a show featuring his father's wares.

Naruto had also learned one thing about women, that she'd preferred having known before making that decision about her father.

Never get between women and fashion.

Ichibō, on his side, had passed the majority of said time hitting the back of the female clone's head with the digits of his left hind paw, all while purring.

Meaning, in their language 'I am laughing at this situation.'

Well, good for him.

* * *

"Good day students. My name is Hyōjin Kiritori and I will be teaching you both Taijutsu and weapon throwing." The chūnin said in his usual even tone. "We will usually have two periods together, one before lunch and one before leaving for the day."

The class nodded.

"First, I will evaluate you, to see where you stand and what to fix. Please split into two groups, with those who have already gone through a year at this academy on one side and the rest on the other."

The class split itself as asked, and the teacher started with those returning. He did each person in the group before coming to Naruto.

Only a person who would have known Kiritori for a long time could have noticed the very slight tightening of the eyes the man had upon coming to stand beside the bearer of the Kyūbi's seal.

"You have already done more than a year in the academy, have you not ?"

"Yes." Naruto said, standing ramrod straight under the man's intense gaze. He hadn't been that way with Muremaru, but now the blond boy found his teacher quite intimidating.

"Show me the first kata of the academy style, then."

It took a moment for Naruto to remember what that meant, but he wasted no time once he did. He performed it just as Mizuki had taught it.

"Horrible. Watch me." The man answered.

Said person performed the kata. Naruto quickly picked up quite a few differences that made the exercise much more fluid that he'd ever seen before.

"Now, can you repeat what I just did ?" Kiritori said once he was done.

Naruto did, to the best of his ability. It visibly wasn't enough.

"Bring your left foot towards the right." The man said as he performed the exercise. "Shift your center of balance a little lower. Extend less in the third movement. The sixth must start lower."

"Now, repeat that kata while fixing those holes until I tell you otherwise. And trust me, if you stop." The chūnin lowered his face right next to that of his student. "I will know."

Naruto started over again, trying to fix the mistakes pointed out, while the teacher went to the other group.

Ariko was one of the first to pass on her side. The chūnin was much less cold and rigid with her, but had her practicing the first kata nonetheless. He did physically help her in the placement of her limbs, however.

As Kiritori came to Muremaru, the teacher found the boy already performing the first kata. Near perfectly, even.

"Very good." The man said, with a very slight smile upon his lips. It was good to have his hopes confirmed. "The only issue I see is a block an inch too high on the seventh movement."

Muremaru redid the whole thing, this time perfectly.

His teacher nodded. "Try this one then." And he launched himself in the second kata of the academy taijutsu.

He then left Muremaru to his own devices, continuing with the other students.

By the time the first part of the class was done, Muremaru was up to the fourth kata, while most had started on the second. The teacher hadn't let Naruto move on from the first, however.

* * *

"Uzumaki Naruto"

Said boy straigthened from his seat. What had he done now ?

"Don't think I haven't noticed the message you just passed. Did you think that since this was the first day, I wouldn't notice ?" Kazuhi, the maths and history teacher, yelled out.

"You will put the cap as always and go stand in the corner as usual." He added, as some students started laughing at the blond's predicament. "You will stay there facing the wall until the end of the class, when I will find a suitable punishment for you."

Naruto, now in the corner, sighted. This was pretty much life as usual in this class. Nearly every day Kazuhi found an excuse to send him in the corner, and continued the class as if nothing happened. A few students always snickered at him, but they went unpunished, while he would join anybody in the corner if he did the same.

The man was a master of double standards, visibly.

Worse was that the chūnin was a teacher who wrote out his lesson on the board instead of explaining orally, so the punishment meant he missed nearly an entire class each time this happened. It might just have been Kazuhi's way of teaching, but Naruto was pretty much persuaded that the man went that way just to hinder him as much as possible.

A class like that was always long, and he'd learned that the punishment was always worse if he didn't wait for the teacher to acknowledge the end of the class before leaving the corner.

When he did, however, the man was waiting for him. As always.

"As punishment, since this isn't your first offense..." First this year, maybe, but not in total. "You will write down 'I will not bother other students' until I come back. You will unfortunately..." And his face visibly showed that he didn't find it unfortunate at all. "Be missing your next class. I will be back after the teacher's meeting, and I'll keep you here if I find you haven't written enough. Is that understood ?"

Naruto nodded, grinding his teeth.

"Good. I will see you later." He then left the class.

Naruto nearly tossed the stick of chalk in his hand at the teacher in retaliation, but stopped himself when a better idea came to mind.

Yes...

* * *

"So room and board in exchange for help serving the customers five days a week, is that correct ?" said a Naruto Clone in the shape of a mousy brown-haired girl of seventeen.

"You got it, girl !" answer the owner of the restaurant, an heavyset tanned man in his thirties.

"Deal then." The clone said, bringing his hand forward.

They shook on it, and the clone was shown to her room. It was small, a little smaller than Naruto's original bedroom, but it would do. There already was a bed and a desk, and she would eat downstairs in the restaurant itself. More than enough.

She was the third clone in this city, which happened to be the grass capital. She was the only girl, and the two previous already had jobs, one in a building in construction and the other at a caravan dock. They made more money than her, even including her easy access to food, but were pretty much in the same situation as she was.

As she was straightening her bed, a burst of memories came through her head. This was bizarre, as the original had instituted a near-complete memory-exchange silence during the hours where the three main clones were in school, with only urgent messages being transmitted. It was the first message since classes started, so she wondered what it would be.

Then she laughed.

Laughing at one's own mistakes and at falling prey to pranks had become a necessary survival skill to clones, as Kage Bunshins pranking each other meant that one would get both sides of the deal. Laughing at one's own misfortune came soon after, as sometimes one got the prey's side long before the prankster's.

So she laughed, all the while thinking of how to fulfill the expectations of those Konoha girls. She had passed a few clothing stores on the way, but hadn't paid much attention. This time she would, and hopefully a clone in Konoha would do the same. It wouldn't do not to have a point of comparison.

* * *

Iruka stepped in the academy's meeting room a little anxious. This was make it or break it day for Naruto and his clones, and his mind had sent him treacherous images of meetings where the other teachers spoke of infiltration assignments, and guessed at which village was the cause.

He hoped it was only his creativity playing with him and not some kind of premonition.

He was quickly joined by both Kazuhi and Kiritori, the first smiling and the second as impassable as usual.

As head teacher, it was his job to open the discussion, so he did. "We have thirty six students this year, the first full class since my arrival in the academy's service. Any issue with specific students ?"

"None whatsoever." answered the Taijutsu teacher. "I've tested just about every student in both throwing and academy kata, and can see no issue with the student as of now. It is of course too early to tell if any have specific issues that will need to be resolved, but everything is as it should for now."

"Good." Iruka nodded. "That is exactly what I wanted to hear." That is, no issue with the clones. "How about you, Kazuhi ?"

"Nothing unusual. The Uzumaki boy was once again disturbing the peace by passing messages, and is being punished for it right now." He said, then turned towards Kiritori. "You did receive the message I had sent to you, correct ?"

"Correct." Kiritori answered.

Iruka found it bizarre that Naruto would do such a thing. Especially since his usual partners in crime, Kiba and Shikamaru, were no longer in class. _"_I will note this in the boy's record._" _After he'd confirmed it with said boy, of course. "Anything else ?"

Kiritori answered no in a movement of his head. The maths teacher, however, was more verbal. "Nope, everything as usual."

"Then this meeting is over. We'll meet tomorrow at the same time."

Both nodded and rose, leaving in the next step. The head teacher on his side took a moment to unwind. Everything was as planned. The clones hadn't failed in their job, and had infiltrated the school without issue.

On one side the chūnin was glad of this, as this meant Naruto had this much more chance of passing, while another was dismayed a little that this had been so easy. While Naruto was good at what he did, this also showed how easy it was to infiltrate this academy. He'd have to make sure to fix this, at least as soon as Naruto and his clones were out of the academy.

Yup, that's what he'd do.

"AAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH !"

Iruka was interrupted in his musings by that hard yelling. Jumping out of his chair, he surged through the door, running full pace until he arrived at the maths classroom, where his college was standing, still raging.

After a quick look that the other teacher was fine, Iruka turned towards the classroom. And instantly had to hold his laughter back, as it would instantly destroy whatever trust Kazuhi had for him. It was evident who had gone through here.

On every surface of the class the words 'I will not bother other students' were written. And by every surface he really meant EVERY SURFACE. In chalk on both the blackboards, in ink on each poster and each visible sheet of paper. In paint on the ceiling, walls, and on every single tile of the floor.

Stepping inside the class, Iruka went to the teacher's desk and grabbed the maths book there. Looking through it, he saw how throughout his protégé had been : Every single page was now impossible to read due to the words on every page. A quick check at two random books in a closet at the back of the class showed the same.

"That boy must be punished harshly for this." Kazuhi yelled.

"That boy ?" Kiritori said as he reached his collegue. "You think a single boy made this ?"

"I must say it sound preposterous." Iruka added, still holding back his laughter. "It would take at least ten, if not twenty people acting in concert to manage such a thing." The head teacher thanked god right there that barely anyone knew of Naruto's skill in the Kage Bunshin. Hopefully it would stay that way for a while.

"I agree." added the taijutsu teacher.

"Well, he was the one alone in here being punished." responded the maths educator.

"I would find it more plausible that a group of people entered the room after this student left, and defaced this class hoping for this very result. I have no liking for the Uzumaki boy, but I won't have him punished for something he visibly couldn't have done." said the Taijutsu teacher.

"Well, at the very least, he's going to be the one cleaning it." answered Kazuhi.

"And why is that ?" said Iruka.

"He was supposed to stay in the room until I came back. And if it is as you said..." he added, looking at Kiritori. "This wouldn't have happened if he'd been still there."

"True. I will not oppose that."

"Then I'll have Naruto here before classes start to clean up." He couldn't go against both like that, and even there he wouldn't. One should clean up his messes, and that Naruto knew that well.

* * *

Iruka arrived in the council room to find every single Naruto there laughing. He was pretty sure what they were laughing at.

"I must admit, Naruto, you haven't lost your touch. But you do know that you'll have to clean everything up tomorrow, don't you ?"

The group looked at each other and started another and started another round of laughter, while a single one, which I expected was the real Naruto, answered. "No worries, I planned it that way."

The chūnin took the last empty place at the table, and Naruto started the meeting. "Welcome, all, to the meeting of those in the know. Today was the first day at the academy and, as such, the first day our prank is live. First, Iruka, status report. No suspicion amongst the teachers ?"

"None." The teacher answered, smiling. Naruto was doing well in a leadership position. "The only discussion I had with the other educators was about your prank. Nothing else came up."

"Perfect."

"I do have a few questions."

"Ask away." The real one said, while the others turned towards the chūnin.

"Did you really do anything to disturb Kazuhi's class ?"

"No." "Nope." "No, sensei." Answered simultaneously Naruto, Ariko and Muremaru.

"Nothing like that." answered Ichibō. "It was the blond boy two desk left of Naruto who threw a paper under his desk."

"Tall as this..." Iruka held his hand at a specific height in the air. "Wears glasses ?"

"Yes."

"Then I know who it is." He responded gravely. That was a returning student, and the teacher was pretty sure that he'd done it exactly to get this result. "I'll take care of this."

"Don't worry about it, sensei." said the original student. "It is better if it stays that way. Less pressure on the two others."

Iruka nodded, even if he didn't agree. He was going to mount a file against every single abuse of power recorded against Naruto, even if he wasn't going to be able to use it while said boy was in school. He was pretty sure the Hokage would want to know, anyway.

"Anything else ?" asked the Naruto upon which Ichibō was standing.

"No, nothing else."

"So, second point : Ariko's error." Upon which moment said bunshin yelled "Hey !". "We need to bring up what she promised."

"What she promised ?" said Iruka.

"Ariko made the mistake of saying that her father was a clothes merchant from Grass..." Muremaru said in a way much closer to the one the real Naruto uses, but with a different tone. "Before a group of girls asking questions about Ichibō. They ended up managing to have Ariko promise them a show of her father's best clothes before long."

"Suzuki Fumichi, Mori Nishi, Hayabashi Asano and Kimura Ringo ?" the chūnin asked.

"Yup, those and Okita Mihoshi"

Iruka laughed at that. He heard about those. Where most of the kunoichi in the year previous had been boy-obsessed, or even Sasuke-obsessed, those four were already known to be fashion-obsessed. And they'd gotten a new member too.

It was probably the worst choice of profession to say. Outside fashion designer, maybe.

The rest of the bunshins ended up joining in the laughter, even Ariko, and it lasted a good minute.

"To continue." Naruto said. "We'll need to have a number of clones looking at the fashions of Konoha for comparison. I'm appointing that task to you both." He pointed at the two civilian clones, Kumori and Kokuei.

The two nodded.

"We've already received confirmation messages from the clones in Grass, including a few memories of current fashions, so that side is taken care of. When you find something, have Anei or Jinei make the trip to Grass." They nodded again.

"Good. Anything else about school ?"

All the clones either answered or shook their heads no, while Iruka raised his voice. "A question actually."

"Go on."

"What's your opinion about Kiritori, the new teacher ?" he said, looking directly at the real Naruto.

"Strict with me, actually, much more than with the others." he answered. "But no real complaint. He's doing his job a hundred times better than Mizuki ever did." Mizuki tended towards ignoring Naruto, all the while appearing friendly when alone with Naruto. The boy now saw it for what it was, that is a way of sabotaging him while not affecting the rest of the class.

"He knows what he teaches." added Muremaru. "He's a better Taijutsu teacher than any we ever had."

"I'll second that." said Ariko.

"Then we can consider that matter closed." said Naruto as leader of the meeting, and Iruka left it at that. It would have to be good enough. "The next point : the clone network." He pointed at a group of three bunshins with twice as much paper in front of them as the others. "That's your show."

"Yes," said a clone in the middle, while unrolling a few maps. "Here's the latest."

The first map was one of Fire Country, while the second and third were both respectively of the east and west borders of said country. There were dots on all maps, though much more on the first. The only region outside the Land of Fire that had a large number of dots was Grass.

"As you can probably guess, the dots are the various places we have clones stationed. Most of them luckily have managed to find either jobs or shelter, if not both, but we have more than a dozen still looking. Said jobs are mainly physical work, especially for male clones, or the service industry in the case of females."

"None in the kind of service I am thinking of, I hope." the original Naruto said.

"No, but a few were asked. The closest we have to that is a bunshin working in a massage place."

"Good." said a few clones. The rest nodded.

Iruka, however, had not yet moved his face from the maps. At first he'd tried to count the dots, but quickly gave up on that as impossible. Looking wider at the regions didn't help.

He shook his head quickly to try to focus, and to dispel whatever illusion was in front of him. It didn't help. Naruto really was saying that he had clones in over half Fire Country.

"This is really true ?" The chūnin said, looking up at the trio. All three nodded solemnly.

"Mind if I test that ?"

"How ?" said the one in the middle.

He pointed at a dot at seemingly random. "Who's the one there ?"

Two of the clones in the trio turned to the one on the left, who started looking into a large ledger he'd been carrying. It took a few moments, but he came back with an answer.

"Two clones there. Brothers. They go by the name of Mizuno. Both work in the gold mines there. Eldest is Ichiro, youngest is Taro. They live together in a small room they rented at their supervisor's suggestion. Started working there yesterday." He looked up from his reading. "Is that enough for you ?"

Iruka nodded numbly. He'd chosen that place as he'd once done a mission there, one of his last as a chūnin outside the academy. It fit what he knew of the place.

That meant this whole map thing wasn't a prank on him by Naruto.

"Did you really manage to have Kage Bunshins in half of the country in close to a week ? How ?"

The original Naruto quickly looked around. "How about I answer that afterwards, Sensei ? I kinda want to finish this meeting as quickly as possible."

Thinking for a second, Iruka realized that Naruto was afraid that people outside would notice that either the two ninja clones or the two civilian clones were missing. He personally thought that this had a very low possibility, but there was little lost in humouring the blond.

"Ok."

"Good, then last point..." he said, once again sounding like a leader. "Civilian, that's you. What's been happening since the last meeting ?"

"We finally have the place we wanted, and are starting to make it ready for the shop. It cost us quite a bit more than expected, as the original owner haggled as much as possible for it. We ended up having to go over him to his boss to get anywhere." said the boy, Kokuei.

"We will be starting civilian school sometime this week, as soon as the paperwork goes through." added her 'sister' Kumori. "We should be starting to look for wares to selling either tomorrow or the very next day."

"Good." said the Naruto serving as a seat to Ichibō. "Hopefully everything will be perfect by the next meeting. Anyone has anything else to add ?"

Silence answered him.

"Good, then this meeting is now closed. The next one will be in three days, where I'll be summoning Nanabō-oh, so be ready to explain things if needed, ok ?"

"Ok." "Sure." "Yup." The mass of copies answered, and then left their seats one by one, leaving only the original, Ichibō and Iruka in the room.

"Now, about this explanation..." asked the chūnin.

"Can we talk while walking ?" Naruto responded, rising.

"While walking ?"

"You wanted me to fix the mess I made in Kazuhi's class, no ?"

He was silent for a moment. "Yes, right." He said, rising. He'd completely forgotten about it for now.

"Ichibō, stay here. I'll be back as soon as I'm done." Naruto added towards his rider.

Said rabbit jumped off. "Be back soon." he said, waving.

* * *

Naruto did not start talking until the two of them were in the tunnels. "Now, explaining..." He said. "How much do you know about the Kage Bunshin ?"

The teacher opened his mouth to answer, only to close it back up less than a second later. "Not much I must say." he finally responded.

"Now, I've been doing tests with this technique ever since I learned it, and I'm probably one of the people who know this technique the best." the student said. "So I know that calling it only a clone is like saying a ninja is only a soldier. It is, in a way, true, but only a part of the whole."

"The Kage Bunshin is a jutsu that makes a copy of everything the user is as a shell to contain an amount of raw chakra. Depending on how real you make the shell, it will both consume more chakra to maintain itself, and be an exact copy deeper."

"Deeper ?"

"Yup, deeper." Making a sign with both hands, he summoned a single clone beside him. "Look."

The clone took his kunai and started cutting his way into his hand. For an instant Iruka even saw bone, before blood obscured his vision. The clone dispelled itself soon afterwards.

"See ?"

He did. But that wasn't what had stuck to his mind. "How come it didn't dispel itself from the damage ?"

"Because I made it more real. It burns chakra like water though, and it wouldn't have lasted more than ten minutes at that." the boy answered. "The ones usually created have nothing but a paper-thin layer that's real, and that's why they're dispelled so easily. The ones I make now have a few millimetres of real surface, which is what I found the best in terms of toughness to time ratio."

"Along with all of that is a copy of the user's mind and memories, so that the clone can act independently and use whatever skills its creator has."

"That still doesn't explain how you managed to build a network like yours in a week."

"I'm getting there." he answered. "Now what makes my clones dangerous is that they have a way of draining chakra. And that there's chakra everywhere."

"Everywhere ?"

"Everywhere. Trees have chakra. Grass has chakra. Even the air has chakra ! It's different from human chakra, or so my clones say, but they can subsist on it."

"Now let's imagine one of my clones on a road. He basically has as much chakra as it wants, since it can drain the very environment when he needs. Say this clone makes another every time the road forks. How many clones will there be in the end ?"

"One for every fork on the road." Iruka answered quickly.

"Nope. One for every fork on every road. Because the copy made at the first fork will also make a clone when it gets to a fork, as will every clone he makes. And every clone his clones make. And every clone..."

"I think I got it now" the chūnin said, stopping his student. It wasn't addition, it was multiplication. No wonder Naruto had been able to do so much in so little time. "Why haven't you taken over the village or something ? With the manpower you have it would be easy."

"Cause the clones aren't without their weaknesses. Even removing damage, they are naturally weak against chakra."

"How so ?"

"You know the genjutsu dispelling method ?" the chūnin nodded. Naruto made another clone. "Use it on this one."

He did, not expecting anything, and was surprised when the bunshin burst into smoke. "Why ?"

"Simple. Most applications of chakra on the shell that is a clone disturb his containment ability, dispelling it. Someone powerful enough could actually go around dispelling hundreds at will, and it's not like ninja villages lack people who know how. The main reason my clones can spread easily like this is that nobody tests if they are real."

"Security through obscurity, really."

The teacher nodded.

"And now that we're there I'm going to show you another thing I found about the Kage Bunshin jutsu."

'There ?' A quick look around revealed to Iruka that the two of them were but a dozen meters from the academy, and he hadn't even noticed. He'd just focused on Naruto's words, and didn't realize the distance they were covering.

It seemed that Naruto could make an efficient teacher, also.

Unlocking the door, Iruka led the academy student to the class he had pranked. Opening the door and the lights, he motioned Naruto to come inside.

"Now, what else did you want to show me ?" He said, smiling. His favorite student was still full of surprises. He wondered for an instant if he could manage to have Naruto teach him his favorite technique.

"Watch." Naruto took a marker from the teacher's desk, put it in his pocket, then made another clone.

"And what is so special about this ?"

The clone took out the marker, uncapped it, and started doodling on a desk, making the words already there illegible.

"Hey !" Iruka yelled, but his student silenced him with a simple sign of the hand. The clone quickly finished his job, covering half the desk with black ink, then turned towards its summoner.

"Two minutes ?" it asked.

"Perfect." Naruto answered. The clone then dispelled itself.

And the desk was back in its original, albeit written-on, state.

"How ?" Iruka said, once again. This seemed to be his word of the day.

"When you make a clone, you clone everything. You don't summon a naked, weapon less copy, do you ?"

"No."

"Well, a Kage Bunshin is the same. Everything is copied. That also means that everything disappears once the clone does, which include paint, ink and the like. Watch."

The both of them waited for a minute, then everything written, outside of the lines on the board, vanished without a trace.

"The only issue with cloning objects is that the objects have the same resistance as the clone, that is to say none. And dispelling an object dispels the clone, along with every object that was created with it. That's why one doesn't clone food." That was actually how Naruto had found out : A clone had offered 'cloned' ramen to a group of bunshins, planning to dispel itself once they were all eating. The joke turned on him when he disappeared after the first bite.

After looking around one last time, the teacher turned towards the student. "Then I grade you A plus in pranking, with a perfect score. Surprising, efficient, harmless while not seeming so, and easily removed. I'll tell the other teachers that I had you come during the night to clean it off." He smiled, and then ruffled Naruto's hair with his hand.

"Now go. I'm pretty sure Ichibō's waiting for you, and that you have a lot to do."

Teacher and student then each went their own way, both with a smile on his face.

* * *

Happy 2011 everyone, and to all a great year.

As a New Year's gift to you I have a small challenge. There's a little hidden joke in some of the names of the new characters, that I ended up placing for fun. I am giving naming rights to the next original character (Please, at least something sounding even remotely japanese) to the first person who finds it. I read every single review or PM, so I'll find out either way.

To the few who asked about using names, characters or concepts from my stories, you have permission as long as you credit me for what you take.

See you all in the next chapter !


	10. Discussions and Discoveries

A Drop of Poison

Chapter Nine : Discussions and Discoveries

Disclaimer : Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. Ramen belongs to Naruto. Enough said.

* * *

_Prank Day 3_

"Summoning Technique !" Naruto called out, slamming his hand into the ground.

For the third time tonight, smoke came out at this call, in this instance much more than before. When it dispersed, Nanabō-oh was standing there, arms crossed.

"See, I told you you weren't using enough." Ichibō added. "How's it going, Kage ?"

"The usual. And you ?" The rabbit boss said, passing the time while Naruto recovered. The boy currently was inhaling in great gulps, sweat shining on his brow.

"Great ! There's so much new stuff here I can't even know where to start. It beats the prank wars with Reibō anyday !"

"Good. I'll summon you for a meeting sometime next week." He said, smiling, then bent towards Naruto. "You gonna be ok, partner ?"

It took a few seconds for the student to answer. "Hopefully it won't take this much each time..." It had actually tired him more than when he'd mass-summoned clones when training towards chakra draining. He finally straightened back up. "The plan's working, so pretty good, partner." He extended his hand.

They shook, smiling. "So you're gonna bring me up to speed on this prank of yours."

"Yup." Naruto answered.

"It all started less than a month ago, actually. It was the final exam at the academy, and..."

* * *

"... And I passed the whole morning training in summoning. That's pretty much it." Naruto finished, stretching on his chair.

Nanabō-oh nodded, thinking. Calling it a prank wasn't descriptive enough, even though that was certainly part of it. It was prank, long-term infiltration, revenge and legal manipulation all at the same time. It had managed to make him laugh quite a few times, especially the various retaliations to Naruto's maths teacher, but the goal of this wasn't simple laughter. It was much more.

He didn't need to do anything about it. It seemed that the newest member of his court had things well in hand, anyway. So, then, let's help where we can...

"And how are going your own studies ?" the rabbit asked.

"Good enough." Naruto shrugged. "Right now I'm working on modifying the Kage Bunshin to be used only for communication, but progress is slow. Not much outside of that."

"That's not enough." the summon said. A few hand signs later Miyamoto appeared in a burst of smoke.

The smaller rabbit bowed instantly at its leader. "I come as summoned. What is your bidding, shogun ?" he asked instantly.

"Miyamoto." Nanabō-oh said, in an official tone. "Is it true you haven't yet found someone to teach your techniques ?"

"Yes."

"I'm sure you remember the newest member of our clan. Would you be able to teach him ?"

"Well..." Miyamoto answered, visibly deep in thought. "He has the necessary frame, which is something most rabbits lack. And he has proven he can learn, so I do not see why not."

"Naruto." The rabbit leader said, cutting towards the boy who had stayed silent during the latest exchange. "The rabbit clan is all about both teaching and learning. One learns the techniques of the clan, and uses these to discover new techniques or modify old ones. Then he or she teaches those to the clan, and the circle goes on."

"Right."

"Miyamoto here hasn't found anybody that was both able and willing to learn the sword from him. Would you do him the honor of being his student ?"

Naruto thought for a moment. He'd already worked with Miyamoto, and he'd found the rabbit strict but respectful, something which wasn't a problem. However that would be cutting into his training time, and he had quite a few ideas he wanted to try out.

In the end, however, one point came above the others. Swords were cool, and he'd be cooler using one.

"Sure." The academy student answered with his usual smile.

"Could I also learn ?" said Ichibō from his perch on Naruto's head.

"I cannot stop you from trying..." responded the sword-wielding rabbit. "But you would find it much more difficult. Most rabbits your size do not have the necessary strength in the arms and fingers to properly wield a one-handed weapon, not to mention the issue of finding a sword the right size. I will not send you away when training your partner, however."

"Good." The summon leader said, smiling, and the seriousness of the moment evaporated in an instant. "We'll work on the details later. Now, pranks ! What do you have planned ?"

Smiling himself, Naruto answered. "Well, there's this one I have..."

* * *

"Bwahahahaha ! You have to get me here for that one ! I know a genjutsu that'll complement that prank perfectly." Nanabō-oh said, repeated hitting the ground with his left paw. Naruto had quickly noticed that whenever the rabbit laughed hard enough, he unconsciously did so. Some kind of nervous tick, probably.

"Glad to have you there. I'll make sure to give you a call once I have the timing down." The boy answered, smiling.

"Perfect. Now is there anything else on the plan ?" The bunny leader asked.

"Well, there a meeting of those in on the prank a little later, so you might want to be present for that, but outside that I didn't have anything planned out."

Nanabō-oh thought about it for a minute. He was about to say yes, but held back at the last moment.

He'd nearly not realized, but Ichibō had barely said a dozen words since he'd started talking to the boy. While his grandson could be direct with him in private, he tended to stay silent and defer to him much too much while in public. The small rabbit would be much more active if he was absent.

"No need. Ichibō, you'll be speaking for the rabbits in my stead, ok ?"

Ichibō tensed. "You sure, Kage ?"

"Perfectly. I'm sure you'll do a good job as my voice."

The rabbit on Naruto's head nodded.

"Then, Naruto, I'll be waiting for your call about that prank. Don't forget to call on Miyamoto every night for training at the very least."

"Will do."

"See you, partner." Nanabō-oh said, waving.

Naruto waved back, and the summon disappeared.

* * *

_Prank Day 6_

The village was abandoned, and had been for quite some time. It was situated about halfway between Konoha and the border to Grass, deep in the forests of Fire Kingdom. The Naruto that had found it guessed from the buildings that it had been some sort of logging camp, but that was all he could tell, really.

Its exact position and its current state made it a perfect meeting spot for the various clones of Naruto who were in charge of the trading network.

These bunshins were originally three, but ended up having to multiply themselves to keep up with the multiplying copies that were spreading everywhere in the ninja world. They were now more than a dozen.

The way they increased in number was simple. Originally, the three each took care of an area, meaning either East, West, or Fire itself. But as the number of clones infiltrating various places grew, there started being too much for a single person to track. The clone in charge of that area created new bunshins either as secretaries, or split his territory in smaller increments. And the process repeated itself when too much work started piling up once again.

The entire group was inside the building which looked the most stable, around a table that was actually a clone, as no furniture intact enough was found. They were grouped as per their respective region.

"Ok people, this is our third meeting." Said the bunshin in charge, who was officially head of the region of Konoha. "Anyone has anything urgent to bring to the table, or can we get directly to the agenda ?"

No one said anything.

"Then let's get to it. First, clothes for Ariko. Status ?"

A clone rose from his seat in response. The only difference between him and the other Narutos was the set of googles he wore around his upper left arm, the symbol of the jumpers. "I brought the package to Konoha yesterday night, and delivered it directly to her place." That was what jumpers did. They used the Kawarimi jutsu to 'jump' distance and bring packages. They were only few as of now, but their number was expected to grow quickly.

"Good, one down. Second is, we have our first stock from outside Konoha. I know it isn't much, but it's gonna be enough as samples to see if those items are worth it. We have spices, medicinal plants, silk and a crate of Hakuto-Cho peaches. Jinei, Anei..." He nodded to the civilian clone parents. "You're leaving with those. We'll be expecting news as soon as you have them."

They both nodded in return. This would actually be their first task as an actual part of the network.

"Anything to add about this ?" Silence answered him. "Three then. Maps."

A pair of bunshin stepped up and unrolled a map nearly as long as the table. The leaders of the network had switched from the smaller ones to this cloth representation when issues of scale became evident between the various maps.

"As of yesterday, we now have a team in both Rice Field Country and in Northern Tea Country, which means we now have members in seven different countries. By this time next week, we should be in a even ten countries, provided that the team to Wave Country can find a boat to ride on." Clones nodded left and right in agreement. The team to Wave was already five days late, and it seemed it could continue in that vein for a while.

"This brings us to our last point : Catalogues." He brought a rolled scroll to the table. "We have the first draft of the list of products the network could get his hands on, along with the estimated prices. The Tea Country products are not yet there, as the group arrived only early this morning." He brought out other scrolls, copies of the first. "I'm expecting region heads to come after the meeting to get one"

"Any last word before we close the meeting ?"

As usual, only silence answered.

"Then, meeting closed. The next one is in a week in Warehouse Four. Let's get back to work, people !" The clone leading the meeting clapped in hands twice and rose, as did everyone else. Most walked or jumped out, with only a few remaining.

Jinei and Anei walked the the person who was, if only nominally, their superior. "Are all meetings like this ?" The bunshin impersonating the father asked.

"What, you expected anything else ? We're all Narutos, so long meetings would kill us with our mediocre attention span for such things. Fast and loose is the way to go." He tossed a catalogue to the head of Eastern Fire Country. "Beside, it works. That's what's important, in the end."

The supposed parents couldn't find any way to refute that.

* * *

_Prank Day 9_

"Ok, now what ?" said the leading clone back to the group.

This particular group was one of the five training in the new elemental techniques, with the one assigned to them being Katon : Akiraka Jigokuhi.

As it often happened within clone ranks, the whole jutsu learning had become somewhat of a competition being the various teams. Boasting led every group to proclaim that they would finish first, and now each was stuck trying to back their words.

"I don't know. Let me get the scroll." said another bunshin, who then took off in a run.

The other members had nothing else to add, so they only focused at keeping the black balls over there hands stable.

Those balls were the core of the technique, a sort of shell upon within which you built the fireball, or so they understood. Those balls could be thrown, though distance quickly made stability an issue, and would burst upon contact with anything solid, releasing the flames inside.

They hadn't actually found what made the technique dangerous as of yet. They knew the scroll mentioned most students having died due to accidents in training, but most failures they had encountered released fire similar in amount to that of that fire breath technique Naruto had seen Sasuke use, and not much more.

Enough to burst a clone, sure, but hardly deadly enough to be banned by ninja standards.

The clone came back with another, this one holding the scroll. Standard practice, actually, with all the techniques that sometimes went out of control around this room. They hadn't another physical set of copies of the Scroll of Forbidden Seals.

It just hadn't come up.

The leading clone grabbed and unrolled the scroll, and started reading out loud.

"Dragon, Reverse Tiger, Dragon... Focus Chakra above the palm of either hand... form of a black ball... constant concentration... Ahah !" He intoned.

"After having generated a stable ball, one can now feed the technique Fire-aspected Chakra using his other hand, increasing the heat so contained." He said directly from the paper. He then looked at the whole group.

Silence ruled for a second. "So, how does someone generate Fire-aspected Chakra ?"

"No clue." said the leader, and this was visibly the general opinion. "We'll need to find out."

Hours later, they hadn't advanced a single more inch. There was nothing as such in the copies of the academy textbooks they had, the other katon technique scrolls only referred to it without explaining what it was, and they all other clones had no clue what it was or how it was formed.

In the end, they kept working on generating and maintaining the sphere, and would think about how to find a solution. At worse, if they found nothing, they'd petition to ask Iruka at the next council meeting.

They were at an impasse, otherwise.

* * *

_Prank Day 11_

"Do a little turn !" Exclaimed Ringo. Ariko rolled her eyes.

"Turn ! Turn ! Turn ! Turn !" the others took up as a chant.

Ariko obligatorily did a turn, causing the skirt to twirl along with her. The five girls before her watched in rapt attention as it did.

"I like that shade of orange. Amber, right ?" Said Ringo.

"Yes, but the previous ensemble went much better with her skin tone." Countered Fumichi.

"This skirt flutters so prettily. Is it silk, or something else ?" Added Mihoshi.

Discussions intersected questions as the group argued upon the merits of the latest ensemble. Ariko answered as best as she could, though she had realized she was in over her head.

And how ! Just in the last two hours, she had learned the names of two dozen shades of green, and at least half that in red, yellow and orange separately. And what kind of color name was atomic tangerine anyhow ?

And that's not counting cuts or materials. Ariko, being Naruto, had had a very limited wardrobe for most of her memories, and rarely opportunities to buy new clothes before the start of the prank. Naruto's well known bright orange shinobi outfit had actually been delivered to his door one day, and Naruto (and the clones, by extension) were pretty sure the old man had something to do with that.

(And they were right, somewhat. After a meeting where the boy had complained not being able to buy this piece of required ninja equipment, the Third had ordered the ANBU to drop said piece of clothing at the boy's door. He'd even specified that there should not be any tracking seals or other surprises of the sort.

The ninja who received the request had the bright idea of finding the required object in the most visible of available colors, as he'd been hunting said boy after a prank often enough. He thought it would help.

Needless to say, Naruto loved it, and it did not help in any way.)

"So, which one do you prefer ?" Asked Fumichi as the discussing died down.

Ariko didn't know what to answer. To her male eyes, none were something she would willingly wear (outside a prank, of course). As something for ninja, they all failed, being far from solid enough to withstand active service, and from his limited civilian point of view all were equally comfortable. Well, the skirt bothered him some, but that was because a man shouldn't wear such things, and not any other reason.

In the end, she answered what she could. "None of them, really. I prefer the suit I usually wear at the academy over all of them." It was the best she could come up with.

The rest of the group sighed in near-perfect harmony. "You're such a tomboy, Ariko." Said Ringo. The clone, of course, was in no way insulted by this.

"Your mother is dead, right ?" Added Asano.

"Asano ! We don't ask such things !" Fumishi, the leader of the group, replied, cuffing the girl lightly on the shoulder. The effect was completely lost when she turned towards Ariko with expectant eyes, visibly desiring the answer like the others.

Ariko acted as if the question surprised her, mainly to gain time to think. Neither she or any other Naruto clone had worked out much of her history or family, so she didn't know what to answer. As this was the second time this happened, she mentally noted that she'd have to get together with a few other clones and work out a complete history, and that sooner than later.

But now, answering was first. She decided to go along with it, as it would be difficult to argue otherwise. She also supposed it was factually true, as Naruto had none he could call mother.

"Yes." She answered, bowing her head.

"And your were raised by your father alone, or only with other men, right ?"

"Right." She said, as this was actually the truth. Iruka and the old man were the primary figures in his life, and both were male.

"I knew it." Fumichi said.

Wait... How did they know that ?

"How did you find out ?" The bunshin asked.

"I've known three types of tomboys. There are those who are raised as tomboys because their mothers were tomboys, those who refuse to act like their mothers and so act like tomboys, and those who are raised by men and act like them without knowing any better."

"The first type know somewhat about cosmetics, fashion and such stuff, as their mother will have taught them what little they know. The second knows most, however willingly doesn't care or apply it in any way."

"Only the third type really doesn't know."

She then turned around. "So, girls, one of our number need our help in learning what it is to be a woman. What do you say about that ?" She asked the rest of the group.

All smiled. "Let's go ! Let's go !" Replied Ringo, visibly eager.

Turning back to her, Fumichi was smiling herself. "Today then, we're gonna teach you about fashion, using the sacred female art of people-watching."

Ariko was then dragged to an ice-cream shop in the middle of the business district, and had to comment on the people passing by. Like, this man is a well-to-do peasant, or, a down-on-his-luck merchant.

Her colleges were simply better however.

"A peasant in his best clothes." Said Nishi. "This cut is quite out of fashion and he visibly isn't used to wearing them."

"A successful merchant going to do something dirtying." Pointed out Mihoshi. "While most of what he wear is old and used, he's wearing new fashionable sandals, and the bracelet he wears seems to be worth quite a bit."

"How about this group ?" Asked Ariko, pointing at a group of three children playing together. Just to see what they could say.

"The girl... I'd say minor nobilty. She has a posture like she's used to getting her way and most non-nobles wouldn't let a child out to play with a pendant." Replied Fumichi.

"The two boys are peasant sons, visibly." Added Ringo while taking a bite of her ice cream. "Resistant clothes. Shades that hide dust well and clean easily."

"Left one works the earth with his parents, probably." Pointed out Asano. "You can see the earth stains that don't wash out on his knees."

Maybe there was something to this fashion thing after all.

* * *

_Prank Day 15_

Iruka was finishing work alone at the academy.

It wasn't anything new. Being Head Teacher had it's perks (a somewhat higher salary and more authority), but also had it's disadvantages, such as the extra work that tended towards late hours. The chūnin had forgotten how many times he had to beg off a diner or a drink, simply to continue working.

But in this case, it was an advantage.

The current academy class just had their first history exam, and Iruka wanted a look at Naruto and his two clones' work. Not that he wanted to change anything. No. He just wanted to make sure the tests wouldn't give clues pointing toward the infiltrating copies.

He'd only change answers if he really needed too.

Grateful for the fact that he was alone in the building, Iruka infiltrated his co-worker Kazuhi's office, and took out the latest test papers. Less than a minute later he had the three answer sheets lined up on the desk and started poring over them.

'97 for Ariko...' Iruka thought. '71 for Muremaru and 45 for Naruto.' a quick look revealed nothing incriminating. Iruka was of two minds about bringing the subject up to Naruto. On one side, if he gave the teachers what they expected they'd be less curious about him. On the other Naruto didn't really need to use the prank to pass. It would be much better if he went through on his own efforts.

'Then again,' The teacher thought. 'It's obvious from Ariko's results that he masters the material.'

He started going down the questions, comparing them one by one. Naruto hadn't won himself any points by writing down 'Don't care' as the answer to question nine.

Then Iruka came to question thirteen out of twenty.

Ariko's answer was picture perfect, an exact textbook answer, which netted her five points. Muremaru's was similar, with some difference in vocabulary, which was worth again five points.

But it was the same with Naruto, and on his sheet was written a red zero beside the answer.

Iruka reread the three answers one after the other. All had the same core meaning, the same information, with only some differences in vocabulary. Yet Naruto got a zero where the others gained points.

Iruka froze at the implications. The jumped into action.

A few seconds later the original tests were back into their drawer, while Iruka had brought out last year's final exam. And again the same pattern came up.

Even worse ! Sometimes Naruto's answer was the exact same as the one of another student, and always was Naruto's ranked lower.

Now fully into the chase, Iruka brought out everything : All the tests, all the notes, all the graded assignments Naruto had done since entering the Academy.

He didn't go in details, passing over quickly, focusing on the questions with the worst results, comparing them to others in his class.

He quickly came to the very conclusion he'd been afraid of :

Naruto should have passed long ago.

His report card for his first year at the Academy had him fail by less than three percent, and that was including everything, such as his Taijutsu (borderline pass) and his Ninjutsu (Total fail). Iruka's recalculation would have brought Naruto final score by at least five points, if not more.

Continuing on, the second year was the same. However Naruto was already visibly starting to make less effort. The number of missing assignments increased, the answers became less worked-on and more rushed, and his notes were lower, even in Iruka's recalculations. This time the teacher wasn't sure if Naruto would have actually passed or failed, his scores were just too much on the limit to tell.

Then coming to the third year, Iruka noticed something else.

He'd not realized before, but last year was the third time in a row that the final Ninjutsu examination was on the bunshin. Thinking back he remembered Mizuki suggesting it last year, while he couldn't remember how the decision was made the year before.

Some people might think it coincidence, but Iruka doubted the existence of the word when it came to Naruto. There was simply too much for that.

"Iruka, are you there ?" said a voice.

The teacher jumped out of his chair at the sound, only to recognize Naruto's voice.

"Here." he said in answer, then was hit by a wave of guilt as he looked down at the piles of exam paper. While he hadn't joined in the oppression, he'd been head teacher, so it was his responsibility to insure that every student had a good education. And he flubbed it.

"Is everything ok, Sensei ? You were supposed to be at the meeting thirty minutes ago." His student said.

A quick look at the clock confirmed those words. It was already past ten. He'd been so into it he hadn't noticed.

Turning to look at his young charge, Iruka didn't know what to say. How could he explain ? He had too, however. Naruto deserved that, in spades.

"Naruto," Iruka said, his voice low. "Take a seat."

The boy did, his face questioning all the while. The chūnin teacher knew he wasn't acting as Naruto was used to, so he wasn't surprised.

"I'm sorry, Naruto." The adult said as soon as his student was fully in his seat. "I failed you."

The boy went as though he wanted to interrupt, but Iruka stopped him with a hand and continued. "I've been going through your latest history exam, just to make sure you hadn't inadvertently given your teacher any clue when I found something."

"Damn !" Naruto said, hitting his open left hand with his fist. "I thought I had done well enough. Is the prank in danger ? Or is Kazuhi only suspicious ?" He put both his hand forward as if praying. "Please tell me it's only suspicion !"

"Nothing like that." Answered Iruka, inwardly cursing the fact that he'd given the wrong idea. "There's really no other way to say it..." He added gravely. "Naruto, your teachers failed you on purpose. You should have passed three years ago." Iruka dropped his head in shame. "And I didn't notice before now."

There was an uncomfortable silence for a minute or so, then the teacher brought his head back up. Looking at the face Naruto was making hurt. 'Broken' was the only description that fit in his mind.

Nevertheless, he soldiered on. He explained how he just noticed, how the notes had been changed. He gave his revised scores, and explained when he should or should not have been promoted. It took a good hour. The chūnin then went back to silence to let his student process the information.

It wasn't long before Naruto answered. "So, what... What happens now ?" he said, his voice sad beyond measure.

"Now depends on you, Naruto. If you want, I'll go right this minute to the Hokage with what I found. He will not be happy with hearing what I have to say, but I'm sure he'll promote you to genin on the spot, along with some form of punishment for those who wronged you."

"I don't know if you'll get a team right away," Iruka continued. "As that depends on how many genin students and Jonin teachers are currently available."

"You'd have to drop your prank, however." The teacher added as an addendum. Naruto reacted to this, however.

"And what would you recommend ?" The boy said in a small voice.

Iruka thought for a good moment about this. He loathed what he was about to say, but it was what was best in his mind for his student.

"Personally, I'd recommend keeping the course and finishing the year. Your notes from last year show that you visibly need to revise the basics, especially in maths and history. With all the students graduating, I'm a hundred percent sure that getting a team won't be an issue, nor will getting a jonin-sensei be one."

"And don't worry..." He added with a growl in his voice. "I won't be forgiving this. I''m already building a report on the favouritism of the teachers, and this will feature preeminently in it." The idea that someone would go to such lengths to hurt a child was horribly revolting to him.

"No need for..."

Seeing the face Naruto made with that start, Iruka cut him off. "Yes, there is need. If it happened once it can happen again ! And I will not have have a child hurt simply because some people think he doesn't deserve what he worked for !"

"I will have to live with not noticing what they did to you for the rest of my life, but I will not compound that mistake by letting them get away with it. And that is FINAL !"

Naruto shrank back at those words. He'd never seen Iruka so violently passionate, outside possibly the beginning of his battle against his co-teacher Mizuki.

Then he smiled. A passion like that he could respect in a teacher.

"I won't say anything else about it then." Naruto said. "And we'll go with what you said about school. I'm kinda curious how far the prank can go, anyhow." He was smiling all the while.

Looking at Naruto, Iruka saw through the smile the boy was giving the words he knew Naruto meant, and those words were a balm to his soul.

To the chūnin, that smile meant 'All his forgiven', and that was all he really needed to have.

* * *

Merry Christmas !

This is part of my present to you all. It has been a long and difficult road writing this, but I finally have something good enough from my point of view.

As for last chapter's challenge, we have actually two winners, because there were two jokes hidden.

**Drac-frst **wins the easy challenge with the Jōdan name, which of course actually means joke.

**M.W. Midnight** is the winner of the hard challenge, which was in the girl group's names

Fumichi - One  
Nishi - Two  
Asano - Three  
Mihoshi - Four  
Ringo - Five

Which were their names in my original outline.

Both of you, please PM me with the anem of those two characters. They won't be directly important to the plot, but they'll be there.

For the rest of you, I'll post other challenges if ideas come up, so good luck next time, and have a good year.


	11. Pranks Aplenty

A Drop of Poison

Chapter Ten : Pranks Aplenty

Disclaimer : Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. Ramen belongs to Naruto. Enough said.

* * *

_Prank Day 17_

Officially, the Special Assassination and Tactical Squad, otherwise known as the ANBU, occupied three different buildings. These were of course simply decoys.

The real ANBU office was a single completely different building in the opposite part of town, hidden within a trading company's offices. It was guarded day and night by at least a dozen different shinobi.

This changed nothing for Naruto, however.

He had long ago learnt how to get near said office unseen at certain hours, where the shadows were deep enough for him to crawl there without being visible. He knew of five people (smokers) who tended to leave their windows open, and the best time to dodge the lines of sight of the rooftop patrols. He could get in the building undetected any day.

Nanabō-oh's genjutsu was overkill, really.

Once inside, he followed a preset path he remembered from long ago, back when he was younger. After a set of pretty bad days, he'd been shifted into ANBU custody while said ninjas tried finding out what had happened. Which, unfortunately, they never did.

Nevertheless that meant that a young Naruto Uzumaki lived along the ANBU for nearly a month, eating in their cafeteria and sleeping on their couches. He even had a locker with what little possessions he owned at the time.

And that was where he was heading. With silent gestures he directed the elder rabbit within the winding corridors of the building, while Ichibo served as a lookout from his usual position from the crown of Naruto's hair. The student was gradually leading both summons toward the place where the ANBUs left their mask when not on duty.

Once inside (the room was never locked, in case of urgent summons), the trio quickly pushed the whole section of lockers off the wall, and gained access to their contents by removing the back panel, bypassing the security of even the most paranoid ANBU ninja this way.

"Now, look carefully." Nanabō-oh said in a whisper, his paws starting to move. Hare, serpent, rat, reverse tiger, hare. He then reached out and touched the ANBU mask in the locker before him. "The important part of this technique is the state of mind of the user." He continued in his low tone. "He must have firmly in mind the thought that everything is normal. Practise it while I set up the rest of the stuff." He reached out and grabbed a scroll hanging from the side of Naruto's backpack.

Naruto's first try failed. As did his second, third, and such all the way to the seventeenth.

"You're using too much. Try the minimum you can." Said Ichibo from his perch.

Try was the key word here. The jutsu failed to hold again.

"Still too much." The black rabbit answered.

"I can't put out any less than that ! It's already difficult enough to get that little." He whispered, remembering not to shout at the last second.

Nanabō-ohcame back from the locker he was working on at that very instant. "Show me, partner."

The student did. "Again." The rabbit leader said, and once again Naruto complied.

The summon shaked his head. "Try this one." Hare, serpent, rat, reverse tiger, serpent, dragon, reverse rat, reverse rat, dragon, hare. "Remember the state of mind."

The boy nodded and tried again. This time, the technique held by the third attempt.

"Good work." The elder summon said as he lightly slapped Naruto's shoulder. He would have ruffled the student's hair but Ichibo's presence made that impossible. "The jutsu you just did is an advanced version of the other one. It is both harder to notice by the affected person and harder to dispel in general, but generally too intensive for my pranks. I unfortunately cannot cast it over and over as I can with the other one." He noted, scratching his chin. "By the amount you've put out in the last few minutes, I don't think you'll have an issue." He smiled. "Now let's go on."

The group went back to work and had whole place done before twenty more minutes had elapsed.

* * *

_Prank Day 18_

Ikazuchi Oboro was officially a chūnin of the leaf, and had been so for the past ten years.

He'd tried three times his chance at a Jonin promotion, and failed all three. He was good enough, though somewhat lacking in leadership. He was usually on long-range courier or infiltration missions, and rarely in Konoha at all.

At least, that what most documents would have you believe. Reality, as usual, was somewhat different.

Ikazuchi Oboro was really a career ANBU, acting under the identity of Bat. He was one of the many who patrolled the town of Konoha proper, acting as both police and counter-espionage officers. And he'd been doing said job for the past five years. He was well-known for a mix of sound-based genjutsus and ninjutsus that he used effectively for both stealth and combat purposes.

(And no, his parent were not killed in front of him while he was young by career criminals, unless by young you mean sixteen and that the Kyuubi is a career criminal.)

He was in position, overlooking the merchant district, when his superior Rat signed for a hidden meeting in their usual spot.

A quick Shunshin brought him there, and his captain appeared the same way a second later. "Inspect your belongings, ANBU."

'A surprise inspection ? Now ?' Oboro thought. Nevertheless, his hands automatically went through the motions of checking his equipment. Armor, in place. Sword, also. Holsters, present and full. Mask, worn and undamaged. Rainbow wig, still there. He even went and confirmed that his poofy nose was still glued on. 'All equipment present and accounted for, captain.'

Rat visibly reacted under the mask, something which was evident to anyone used to ANBU. "You are summoned before the Hokage at once. Go." He said, visibly sighing.

'That explains the inspection, that least' He thought. "Yes sir." Another Shunshin brought him out.

* * *

"Bat reporting as ordered, Hokage-sama." He said. Said person wasn't alone. The Commander-in-chief of the ninja forces, Shikaku Nara, was there, along with both the ANBU Commander and Kurenai Yūhi . He was pretty sure by now that something was up, but he couldn't see what it was. The snickers from the ANBUs watching the entrance had been illuminating in that regard.

"Bat, turn the the side." He did so instantly, coming face to face with a mirror. "Tell me what you see."

"Myself, Hokage-sama."

"More details, please."

"Myself in ANBU suit, Hokage-sama." The village leader didn't stop him, so he continued. "I am wearing my regulation armor over a black suit, with my sword strapped at by back. My mask is as usual half lime green and half hot pink, with a blue teardrop on the pink side and a purple star on the pink side, both below the eyes. My regulation poofy nose is in place, as are my exaggerated eyebrows. My multicolor wig is in proper position and still curly. Should I go in more detail ?"

"No, that will be enough, Bat." Besides him, the ANBU Commander did a facepalm. "Continue looking at the mirror."

He did so. It barely took a moment before Kurenai brought her fingers in a ram seal.

"KAI !"

At that very instant, Oboro instantly noticed what was wrong. He quickly ripped out the nose and the eyebrows, and the wig joined them on the floor barely an instant later. The paint on the mask proved more resistant, however, so it ended up staying.

"Hokage-sama, I have… no excuse." He quickly realized. He remembered the previous hours perfectly, and could not think of anything else to add. "Do with me as you will." He said, head down.

A ninja came down and gathered the items he had just removed, and added them to the contents of a box. Judging by the number of noses and eyebrows, he wasn't the only one who'd fallen to this prank. There even was a a full ANBU mask in the box. It had a horn, like that of a unicorn.

"Bat, return to the ANBU quartermaster, who will give you a new mask. Then, please have Hamster sent our way."

The ANBU in the clown mask wasted no time in leaving, glad to have gotten out of any horrible punishment. Once he was gone, Sarutobi turned toward the jonin next to him.

"So, what are your thoughts, Kurenai-san ?"

"I have never seen the like." She answered. "Most genjutsus affect the five senses : sight, smell, touch, taste and hearing. A few rare go directly to the sense of balance while bypassing the others." The only woman in the room was visibly thinking. "But I've never heard of something like this one. The technique behind this prank somehow affects one's perception of normality, making the subject of this jutsu seem perfectly normal to everyone noticing it. I have no clue where such a technique could come from. Not from Konoha for sure."

"Thank you, Kurenai-san. Please write down anything you can think that might help." The Hokage said as a ninja with a carrot-like nose and exaggerated lips came in. He sighed. "Anything." He quickly added.

* * *

The Third could finally, as the other ninjas had left, indulge in a somewhat inappropriate laugh. As a leader of men he had to stay calm to the situation, but as a person he could not help but laugh. All the while he'd had the various ANBUs in his office he couldn't help but think 'Naruto would laugh at this.'

And that was the crux of the issue. This was very much a Naruto-style prank, but the genjutsu made it impossible for him to perform. As if a academy student with issues in the simplest of techniques could perform a genjutsu Konoha's foremost mistress of the art had no knowledge of ! And where would he have learnt it anyway ?

In the end, sixteen ANBUs were found with tampered masks, while a search of the lockers found twenty more still unused. The prankster, however, was never caught, the only clue they found being the smell of rabbits.

* * *

_Prank Day 21_

"So, report. Anybody found anything ?" Said the clone leading this group to the numerous other copies before him.

A stream of "No" in various formats were his answer from his partners at learning Katon : Akiraka Jigokuhi.

They were well and truly stuck.

Which is not to say they did nothing. They had kept on training with the black spheres, managing even something similar to dodgeball in the last few days, but nothing on how to fill said constructs with the fire.

"Any clue on how to proceed ?" The clone added.

Again, all answers were of the negative sort.

The clone sighed. Whatever lead they might have had in the informal competition between the jutsu-learning bunshin was evaporating like mist at high noon, if it hadn't vanished completely already.

Another of the blond copies was looking around. "Shouldn't we be more than this ?"

The leader did a quick headcount and realized that this Naruto was right. They were missing at least three people, and he didn't remember any part of his group bursting since the last meeting.

The group as a whole debated for a few minutes on what to do about this, when the point became moot.

One of those missing had arrived.

A few clones went and started questioning, while others just stared out, waiting for answers.

"We might have a solution." And then he had all ears.

He basked in the feeling for a while, then gave a single instruction.

"Follow."

The group did, and he led them through the sewers to a grate that hadn't seen much usage, by the looks of it. The leading clone stopped right beside the ladder going up. "We all went the wrong way about this. We mainly focused about how, when we should have put effort on who and where…"

"So tell me." The clone asked. "Who were the best known in Konoha for their fire techniques ?" Smirking, he then climbed the ladder three rungs at the time.

When each member of the Katon group finally were back on ground level and saw where they were, they all wanted to hit themselves. The answer was evident, and they hadn't even thought of it.

Before them was the Uchiha district, which had long been home to some of the most famous fire users in history. The technique they were trying to learn was even based on stealing that power from exactly this family.

* * *

Naruto had, long before the start of the prank, tried infiltrating the Uchiha district, mostly as a way to escape his pursuers. It had bounced back on him, as all points of entry were alarmed three ways from Sunday. That particular chase was cut very short at that point, and he got a double lecture and punishment for his trouble.

But now they had a way to bypass such seals, and the two other missing clones were already doing so, negating the alarms on a half-hidden side door in the walls of the district.

The group quickly made its way inside, while the pair of bunshins kept their position, maintaining the hole in the wards.

"So, what now boss ?" The guiding copy said.

Said clone looked around for an instant before replying. "You found this, so it's your show." He answered with a smile. The rest of the group nodded their approval.

The new leading bunshin looked around for a moment. Even if he hadn't known of what had happened here in the past, he could have guessed. While there were no bodies or blood in sight, the signs were evident. Charred spots on the walls, the results of fire jutsu, could be seen here and there, leftover marks from kunai and shuriken dotted the place, and there were gouges in the grounds from the usage of ninja techniques.

Any ninja worth his salt would have noticed what had gone on here.

"We split into three groups. The first two will go methodically and create a clone while holding anything interesting, especially whatever looks like a jutsu scroll. We then put it back where it was. Be careful about traps, as we might have only bypassed the first layer. The last group will go back out and gather blank scrolls for copying. We'll work the same way we did with the forbidden scroll, ok ?"

The rest of the clones nodded.

"Outside of that, we leave everything as it is. This is not like whatever items we found abandoned, this is somebody's family legacy. As much as I like Sasuke (and I don't), even he doesn't something like that."

Another series of nods was his answer.

The guiding clone smiled. "Then let's go, people !"

* * *

It took an hour and a half of searching before the Katon group found what they were looking for. Surprisingly, they ended up finding it in Sasuke's own former home, in his brother's room. Said room had been completely ransacked, but whatever scrolls were there hadn't been destroyed but only neglectfully strewn around.

The specific scroll the group now had contained instructions for the clan's Great Fireball technique, but aimed at those whose elemental affinity wasn't fire. It contained various training exercises to improve ability with fire techniques, along with tips on how to tackle them.

None of the Narutos had any ideas what was their elemental affinity, what it entailed, or if they even had one at all, so they guessed that was at least part of the issue they were having. The copy of said scroll joined their expanding library in a position of honor.

In the end, it took a little more than four hours for the Katon group to go over the totality of the Uchiha Compound, and the result was 29 different justu scrolls, some even containing more than one technique. Their various power levels were all over the place, from a complex A-ranked fire release technique they didn't think they would ever master, to a large scroll of E-ranked cleaning and grooming jutsu. They had even managed to learn and perform a few techniques from that one and used them to clean up their tracks.

And by the end of the day the group had managed the first of the fire training exercises, which meant that all of them could generate a flame similar to that of a match from their hands.

* * *

_Prank Day 26_

Things were not going well for Jinei and Anei.

The two copies who represented the elder civilian couple were in charge of finding customers for the products the clone network could get their hands on, both for funds as the group did not want to live on Iruka's money, and for their cover.

It was not going according to plan, however.

The two of them had visited dozens of stores, factories and other such enterprises. People seemed interested, some even glad, until the following question came out:

"Who's the seat representing you on the Merchant Council ?"

That killed everything. Once Jinei said that they had no one representing them, their prospective customers at best became shy and evasive, and at worst had them thrown out of the building. Regardless of what happened, they were out of luck.

They of course tried getting such a person to represent them, but that was not to be either. The most polite simply said no, while others tried buying them off. No one seemed to want to work with them. The one who came closest asked for an outrageous sum along with half the money from their sales as 'administrative fees', which were clearly bribes.

As such, the merchant couple went and did what any clone of Naruto would when things were not going well.

That is, go eat at Ichiraku Ramen.

They were making headway into their second bowl when Teuchi came up to join them on his side of the table. "Good day, my name is Teuchi and I'm the owner and head chef of Ichiraku Ramen. The young lady who served you is Ayame, my daughter." He had a serious look. "Is the ramen not to your liking ?"

Jinei guessed that the man had seen their unhappy faces and had wrongly thought his food was the cause. "Of course not. The food is excellent !" He managed not to add 'as usual' at the last second.

"Then what is bothering the both of you, if you don't mind me asking ?" Teuchi continued.

Naruto, and by extension, his clones, had an ingrained respect of Ichiraku's owner that bordered on the religious. As such, both Anei and Jinei had no issue answering the man.

The story came out piece by piece, just as the clones had prepared it. They were a family of four who'd left Grass country not to compete with Jinei's elder brother Mattaki, who'd inherited their father's business. They'd chosen Konoha because they wanted security, and they thought one could not be more secure than in the middle of a ninja village. And Konoha was the greatest of them.

When the problems the two bunshins had with the various merchants came up, Teuchi pronounced himself unsurprised. "You're not the only one whose had issue with that group. Ichiraku Ramen has been in Konoha for more than thirty years, and even before my tenure the owner butted heads with them." He said with a sad smile.

"It got worse after the Kyuubi's attack, when half of them died suddenly, but it's pretty much always the same…" The chef continued. "They simply try to make more money for themselves by applying economic pressure on other people. Though there are rumors of worse things…"

"But enough about that." Teuchi said, a real smile going back up. "What did you say you dealt in ?"

"Pretty much everything." Anei said, joining the conversation. "We're a family of traders, and we have contacts in a lot of different places. Why, are you interested ?"

"You could say I am. There's been a surge in business in the last few weeks and my usual suppliers are struggling to keep up. I might try you out if you can supply me with what I need."

Both Jinei and Anei forced themselves not to react. They knew very well what had caused this upswing in sales. As of a little than a month ago, there were more than a thousand kage bunshins of Naruto living in the city. And whatever money the clones got their hands on automatically went on one of two things: pranks or ramen. And ramen meant Ichiraku to Naruto.

Jinei handed Teuchi his copy of the network's catalog. It was the latest version, which included the products from both Tea Country and Vegetable Country. Wave, however, was still late.

The couple went back to their bowls as Teuchi pored over the scroll. Ayame brought each a third bowl before the chef came back up from reading. "The prices on this scroll aren't the final prices, are they ?" He said. It would be too good to be true otherwise.

"No, this is the price we can get these items at. We add a…" He thought for an instant. "A ten percent charge for transportation, along with the usual Konoha import tax." This is something the two clone parents had learned while dealing with all the paperwork. Konoha had both an import and an export tax, which went directly to the Hokage, and was used to fund village security.

Teuchi thought visibly for an instant, evidently calculating the numbers in his head. He then smiled. "I think we can do business. Who knows, if the quality is good and the delivery rapid, I might have some other contacts who could use your services. Now, let's discuss particulars."

Teuchi and Jinei shook hands on a deal an hour later, and both made their way back to their respective shops. It was only a start, but the network had its official first client.

* * *

_Prank Day 29_

"Come on, try it !" said Ken on his left.

"Try it !" added Jishi on his right.

"I don't know… It feels like a waste." replied Goro. He was a Naruto clone working in Tanzaku-Gai in an hotel as general help. "Not to be insulting."

Thing was, Tanzaku-Gai very much had a gambling culture. The tourists came here to play, the ones living there played, everyone played, except maybe the casino owners. And even that wasn't always true.

"You just got a bonus yesterday, so ya won't even affect yer finances." Ken said, crossing his arms. "Live a little !" he exclaimed.

Jishi came up and decided to try another way. "You ever tried it ?"

Goro was taken aback by the change in tactics. "Eh…No."

"Then how can you say it's a waste ?" he continued. "You think we're lying ?"

"No."

"Then come. If you don't like it, you can at least say that you've tried. We won't badger you anymore." Replied Jishi.

"Promised ?"

"Samurai's honor." Jishi answered, putting his hand on his heart. Ken emulated him a second later.

"Ok… Just once." Goro finally acquiesced. It couldn't hurt, could it.

That night, the three of them ended up in one of the many casinos of the city. They played for tiny sums, nearly nothing, just for the fun of it.

After thirty minutes, Goro had doubled his bonus.

After an hour, Ken and Jishi caught on their comrade's luck, and moved to the roulette table. The Naruto clone had doubled his monthly salary by then.

It took three hours before casino employees asked them to come back another day. Security had watched over them like hawks but couldn't see any proof of cheating. Goro left the building telling the others that he did have fun, and with enough money to single-handedly pay for Ariko's house. His two partners left each with the equivalent of a few months' work.

He did make a couple of bunshin as soon as he was alone, and these hit three different casinos with similar results.

The word was out in the entirety of Naruto's clones before the sun was back up : All Narutos had luck at games of chance to spare.

* * *

_Prank Day 33_

The real Naruto did not always go to class as himself. Sometimes he was Ariko, sometimes he was Muremaru, Sometimes he skipped school entirely to train, and all of this never on a fixed schedule.

For the first Tajutsu exam, he went as Muremaru.

This was planned. Kiritori, the Taijutsu teacher, had started being quite a bit more demanding of the male clone than he was of everyone else. Not a punishment, but looking more like a test of his endurance than anything else. As such, Naruto expected that the first exam would be rougher for him as his orphan copy than it would be for everyone else. He was there mainly as a preventive measure, to insure the continuation of his prank.

And Kiritori did not disappoint.

Where everyone faced someone roughly their level, the teacher took on Muremaru personnally. And while Naruto was pretty sure the man was pulling his punches, it sure didn't feel like it.

Nevertheless Naruto gave the fight his all, and managed to last longer than the rest of the class had in their own battles. By the end, Naruto was tired, sweating and sore even in places he hadn't known could be that way. Kiritori stopped the fight barely a second before Muremaru dropped to the ground, exhausted.

The teacher then left his student recover while he went over the results with everyone else. Said student ended up going last, classes having ended a while ago.

"First, your notes." The chūnin teacher said in his usual monotone. "You have a clear A for the exam. The only things keeping you from a perfect grade are the facts that you still are wasting movements and that you are still telegraphing your attacks a touch too much. Fix those two flaws and you will be as good as someone your age can be."

The teacher then took a deep breath. "Which brings me to the second item." He suddenly sounded twice as serious. "I have a proposition for you. Something outside of school. I'd like you to meet me at the memorial stone tonight at eight." He put his hand on Muremaru's shoulder. "Now, go home and have a good supper." The teacher rose and left. "Oh, and good work on the exam." He added as he was crossing the door.

Naruto didn't know what to think about that, but knew one thing for sure: Two heads worked better than one.

As such, he quickly made his way home. The council needed to be informed of this, if only to discuss it. Maybe they'd even be able to have an idea about what was the proposition.

He'd eat during the meeting.

* * *

The council had no more clue what was the teacher's proposition the Naruto himself had. The only thing they were sure was that it wasn't the prank being found out, as everyone agreed that Kiritori would have gone straight to the other teachers (or worse, the Hokage), with his news.

It comforted him somewhat, but not enough. Naruto did not like having too much attention paid to his clones outside of school. The girl gang was ok, not even being ninjas yet, but the focus of a chūnin, high-skilled at that, was something he wanted to avoid.

Nevertheless, he made his way to the memorial stone at the appointed time. Not being there would scarcely make things better. Still disguised as Muremaru, the real Naruto found Kiritori waiting for him where he had set up this meeting.

"Follow me." The man said, and his voice was unnaturally tight.

The chūnin led the boy to a specific stone on the side of the area. It was somewhat taller than the others, with a single name at the top in bigger letters than the other names.

Minato Namikaze, Fourth Hokage of Konoha.

"You might not have known, but less than a year before you were born a demon attacked this village: the Kyūbi. It was taller than anything living has the right to be, and its malevolence was so great some people died simply by looking at it."

"The fourth Hokage, whose name is at the top of this monument, ended up fighting the beast. Using a forbidden technique, he defeated the monster at the cost of his own life." Kiritori took a deep breath. "But not before the demon caused incalculable damage to the village."

"Every single person on this stone died that day." He sighed. "I have seventeen family members on that stone. Both my parents, a single grand parent, my wife, my two sons." He trudged on. "Both of my brothers and my sister, all of their spouses of their children."

Naruto couldn't say anything about that. He'd know mentally that the Kyūbi had killed hundred, maybe thousands of people, but it was the first time that he really saw the impact it had. He could almost see Kiritori's family in his mind's eye, and couldn't help but shed a tear at their loss.

"I would have happily joined them, but I made an oath to my father. The same oath my brothers swore, the same my father had years earlier… To keep the family art alive, and not have it fall in the hands of other clans." He continued. "My sons had made the oath, but their time is unfortunately passed. " He said, looking down.

"I am getting old, and with the job I'm in I probably won't last another ten years. As such I've been searching for the person who could be the next master of the Sharp Fist. And you're the best I've seen in the past five years, and the only one I can entrust this too."

"I've been testing you these past weeks, pushing you to your limits, to see if you could handle it. You did even better than I hoped, better than I did at that age. You have what it takes to be a master of the Hyōjin family style." The teacher looked directly at Naruto. "As such, this is my proposition: Should you accept it, I will take you as my student and heir of my family. I will teach you everything there is to being a ninja, and how to survive it both physically and mentally. It will harsh, and you may have a very different opinion of me once it is done, but I will make you ask great as I can."

"Are you in agreement ?" Kiritori said after a pause.

Naruto did not know what to answer. There was too much thoughts slamming together in his head. There was the prank and the disguises and all the clones and SOMEONE who wanted him and…

In the end, as usual, Naruto Uzumaki went with his heart.

"I accept." He said solemnly.

* * *

**M.W. Midnight**'s character makes his appearance here, as one of the challenge winners from chapter 9.

**Drac-frst**, the second winner, hasn't replied with his choice as of yet. If he does, his character will pop sometimes in tthe future.

As for the update speed I can only give my most sincere apologies. Writer's block and computer issues were mostly to blame, but I should have been able to do better. I will try my best to improve the chapter rate, as an entire year without an update makes me feel like a loser.

I do reiterate however that short of death, I will not abandon this story. I know the scenes and the end points, and finding how to write them down his the issue.

Anyway, a good 2013 to you all, and may your favorite fanfictions update repeatedly.


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